As a woman you will love players but you will also despise them. Why? They are the men your mother or Sunday school teacher warned you about. You will love them because they show great interest in you. They tell you all the right things and treat you like a goddess. This combination of right actions and sweet words usually awaken deep romantic feelings in your soul. You will hate them because before you realize it you open your heart, soul, legs and sometimes purse to this charmer who robs you, “scores” on you and quickly moves on to the next victim.
Who is a player?
I think the best way to avoid a player is to concentrate on getting the right man for you. Get this awsome manual on how to find, attract, date and keep the right man. Go Here to get your copy and avoid making mistakes like Vanessa.
This was exactly what happened to Vanessa. She met Claude at a bar. He was so suave, debonair and classy. He seems to know exactly what to say. He found out about her by asking her questions no other man ever bothered to find out. He suggested answers to issues she brought up that she never thought of before. He made life seems so easy. He was gracious. Opened doors, pulled chairs, made her get into cars and shut doors before getting in. He seemed too good to be true. He was Mr. Right.
He always called before she went to sleep, in fact many nights she fell asleep with his voice talking in her ears.
After sleeping with her a couple of times, she noticed a sharp decline in his interest and attitude. He always seems too busy to come over. He would either have to help out his friend or family, go somewhere or be right in the centre of doing something and would get back to her. Many times he wouldn’t show up for their dates giving some flimsy excuse of being caught up in traffic and couldn’t get phone reception.
By sheer coincidence Vanessa’s friend asked her to go to a party. She wanted Claude to come along. After trying his mobile no less than 4 times she finally got him. No, he was not available that Saturday night because he had and his mates were going out of town on a fishing trip.
It was a big shock when he showed up at the same party with a beautiful girl on his arms. Vanessa’s world was shattered. She later learnt that she was just one of a series of women this guy had seduced. He was a serial PUA (pick up artist)
Why you should avoid a player
Players only tend to use you for sex, money or ego boost. Regardless to what they profess they have no personal interest in you. When their ambition is fulfilled they will drop you like a hot potato or gently let you down before moving on to the next victim.
You will suffer emotionally, psychologically and even financially if get caught in the web a player. They are very good at manipulating your emotions. They are good at even making you feel that you need them or you are nothing without them. Guilt and emotional discomfort are other tools they use. These guys can either shatter your self esteem or build it up sky sky-high if it suits their purpose.
Ultimately they will use you, abuse you and refuse you. Believe me it is not a good feeling. This experience can have terrible consequences to your self esteem, confidence and outlook on life.
How do you spot and stop a player dead in his tracks:
- If he is too good to be true he probably is a player.
- If he is moving too fast and showing more interest in “pleasure” he is more than likely after one “thing” – sex.
- If he shows more interest in getting to know you and shares very little information about himself, beware!
- He may ask things like “what are you thinking” “tell me everything about you”
- He will very likely be a great story teller. He weaves stories that pull at your heart and make you either want to cry or laugh. He knows that this discount relaxes you or makes you venerable to his ploys.
- Never become physical too quickly with any man
- Have very concrete boundaries about petting, necking, petting and sex
- It’s a very good idea not to have sex unless you are in a secure relationship for at least 3 months. Players get frustrated easily if they are not getting what they want quickly. Genuine men tend to want to wait until you are ready
- Asks him lots of personal questions.
- Get to know his friends and possibly his family. If he doesn’t want this to happen, he has ulterior motives.
- Introduce him to your friends they may be more objective in their assessment of him. Usually players like to isolate you from your family and friends. He is afraid they catch onto his suspicious designs.
- Do share financial information with men, unless you are in a secure long term relationship, preferably marriage.