How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
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My boyfriend and I have been together since June 6th, 2011… The past few weeks he has been saying he is busy and can’t han out… He is always texting other girls and is hidding things from me… I feel like i am losing him and that he doesn’t want to be with me anymore, he is also always telling other people that it’s non of their business or is telling them that we are not together when they ask if we are dating… Is he with somebody else? Is someone replacing me in his hear?? Is he over me??? How can I tell if he really loves me and want to be with me or not???? Please help me…
Yes if a man love you he will do every thing in his power to make you happy.alway try to please you
I have a bouyfriend who does all of the above mentioned , I really love him so much
I’m dating with a guy called Tebogo and I’d really want to know if he loves me,I met with his family and they loved me the problem is dose he love me?I mean he found me with another guy and soon after I broke up with the guy he updated our relationship status on facebook….is that love??and the other thing is he calls almost every girl on his facebook baby and all those kind of names that I think he should be calling me with!!
my boyfriends all that i guess he the one god planed out for me
My boyfriend and I don’t leave in the same area, I went to visit him last week because I missed him and he missed me to(how do I know that?) That’s because he calls me everyday to say good morning and good night, to tell me how much he misses me and how much he loves me. Well as I was saying I went there last week we had fun with each other and then out of the blue he wanted me to go inside his house while he’s whole family was there. I just told him I couldn’t because I was too scared to do so, he begged and begged but I didn’t change my mind. Was I wrong by turning him down? Does that show me that he loves me? I don’t know what to think
Well I’m dating a guy and I don’t know if he loves me or not, he’s so hard to read but I’m his actually first committed relationship but I always am curious if he talks about me to everyone. I just find it hard to ask him, I don’t want to feel possessive or dominant over asking that since we have a mutual relationship with one another. But there are times when he seems as though after we do something he might just dump me. I don’t know what to do I am rather confused
Hi kacey,
It seems as though that he may be backing out of the relationship silently.
While this may be painful DO NOT
1. Plead with him
2. Throw a angry fit
3. Fling yourself on him
As hard as it seems it may be best to release him and back off for a while. Give him some space
The best thing to do with the time is to focus on improving yourself and even start talking with other possible suitors.
Hilton
My boyfriend dosnt txt me hes always to busy i dont kno if be still love me but weve been going out since September2nd,2011is he cheating on me or is be really busy
Okay uhm when me an my boyfriend were not dating & he was dating somebody else, he kept saying that he loved me even though we wernt dating and he was dating another girl. Now we are together, but how do I know if he isint telling another girl that he loves her t0o? Like he was telling me? Im scared & i dont want to lose him, what should i do? :/
i have a boyfriend that does all of the above mentioned.i love him soooo much……………….
Hi Jamilah
I have to inform you that because of what you have described your boyfriend (or exboyfriend) is not really into you. You will have to face the reality and move on.
Hilton
Hi Brittney.
I fully understand your position of not fully trusting him because of your experience. You would really never know what he is telling other girls unless you spy on him and I don’t think it is worth it to do so.
If commitment and honesty are really important to you, let him know how you feel about it. Be prepared to take action if you find out that he is cheating
my boyfriend and i have been together for 7 months, he never tells me how he feels, we don’t see each other in the week because we live apart, i don’t drive and we work in different towns. he responds to my texts but rarely if ever texts me first and only calls if i ask him to, i’ve spoken to him about this but nothing has changed i still feel like i don’t exist for him during the week.
wen we’re together it’s great except he can go very quiet but says this is just how he is. emotionally he’s very undemonstrative and this leaves me feeling like i’m running after him all the time, making all the effort.i’m always making plans for us for things to do but he doesn’t seem very interested. when i tell him how i feel, like mention a romantic song that reminds me of him his response makes me feel like i wish i’d never said anything. it’s like ‘oh thats sweet.’ and thats it.
I do get depressed about it and i’ve considered ending it because I worry I’m too needy for him. But I do love him and mostly it’s great when we’re together. I’d just like to feel a bit more reassured.
Me and my boyfriend have been together 2years, I feel really jealous and insecure, we are from two different cultures but I’m definately sure he hasn’t cheated on me yet. Things got too complicated recently, i hacked in to his account, I found Facebook message a bit flirtatious, but his reply was that it’s his friend from years ago, he complimented the girl that she is looking great and invited her on a night out with his friend and complimented another girl voluntarily about her looks, what does this mean? I also found him in bed with another girl but with seperate blankets n fully dressed after he was drunk. He went in this bed because it was empty. He explained everything and apologised sincerely for everything and told me he loves me and will never cheat on me and promised he will never get drunk again, I confronted him about the Facebook messages and he said I shouldn’t be stalking on him and he now deleted his Facebook for me, it was not solid evidence to be honest that he cheated, he said that we both need to change some of the things . He said how beautiful I am and his never had someone like me before who cares and puts so much effort in our relationship, he wants to move in with me since few months ago but I said no! Even after we sorted things I left a letter telling him that I’m leaving him and that his got a month to think what he wants? And if he wants to be with me for sure then to meet me in the airport in April and not to contact me before that and if he doesn’t then I will know that it’s over. What do you think about this situation? Am I doing the right thing? Are his messages on Facebook a sign of him going to cheat? Does he love me? Thank you
ive been with my partner 5years but the last year ive felt so depressed i have no one to talk to he doesnt talk to me when i tell him how i feel, he goes football tues n sat and snooker on a friday after work and goes on nights out with the lads and dont want me there the only time he wants to no me is when he wants sex i dont no what to do , does he love me or not he says he does ?!?! is he cheating on me he says he isnt … i dont no what to think i feel so alone
Well I wasin in love with this guy for 5years and then gave up and got something betterbut how do I now if he feels the sameway well does he help me ……………
Hi Leanne,
Unfortunately I have to tell you he is not into you and is only using you tp satisfy his sexual needs.
Hilton
I am stuck in the middle of my relationship. My boyfriend only recently broke up with his ex but his family doesn’t know that he is over this other girl. I love him and I want this to last how ever there is also another girl who flirts with him and all this stuff. He doesn’t like either of the other girls and tell me that. At school all his friends say that we make the perfect couple and I love him for that. I really want to make this last and I am afraid if I make one bad mistake it might possibly be the end of something that we both wanted. All through out class we both cannot stop looking at each other and can’t help it to smile and wink and then after school he doesn’t say good bye all any of this stuff to me. Is he ashamed of me and is it bad to be seen with me. I love him and I really want this to last…
hey, i m paulla my boy friend has not called me since 8 march when i called his sis said he is not at home i dont know is he serious wid me or not?
Hey my boyfriend is recently split from his soon to be ex wife. We ended up getting pregnant. At first he did really nice things for me. But now it seems like he is always irritated at me. And only wants to play video games and doesn’t talk to me as much. What do I do? Please help.
My boyfriend and I have been off and on since 2008 in 2009 I moved in with him temporarily because he said he was not in love with me but i was in love with him so i lived there about 9 months then got my own place we stayed friends and he told me to go on with my life and date other people so that is what i did i have a lot of emotional problems and he couldnt handle it but i have worked a lot of my emotional problems out and have become stable and i started dating other guys he realized he really does love me i hope we are now living together again and he is very supportive to me he is my best friend but in the back of my mind i always wonder is he really in love with me or not how do i know? i once asked him and he said yes but i was reading an article the other day and a woman wrote if you have to ask then more than likely he doesnt he isnt an affectionate man and i accept him for that but he is right here for me if i ever need anything he wants the best for me he encourages me which helps me to stay stable isnt that love i would do the same thing for him we take of each other in different ways can you tell me what you think? thank you
Well, I have been dating this guy for the past 4 months, and we love each other a lot. He calls me every single night before I go to sleep, and every single morning when he wakes up. He tells me that I’m beautiful, that he loves me more than anything in the world, he feels so special and lucky to have me and I’m his everything. He’s tells me that he loves me every single time we get off the phone. Unfortunately, about a month ago, I had a friend at work, that was a little younger than me, and talked to me ALL THE TIME, I honestly thought that he liked me; well that friend told me that my boyfriend had admitted to him that I wasn’t the only female he was “seeing.” When I asked my boyfriend about what I was told, he got mad and kept asking me why I would ask him something like that? And who told me that? Then, when I tried to walk away, he wouldn’t let me, and kept saying that he wanted to find out what happened and where I got all of this from. When he saw that I started to cry, he got even more upset and said that he can’t believe that something like this is tearing us apart. Why would I listen to other people? He said that he didn’t feel comfortable talking about topics like that, and I should know that he would never ever even think about hurting me. I could not get this out of my head; the fact that I loved this guy so much, and he loved me, but he would do something so stupid to hurt me. A couple days later, I did end things with him, and he was upset, and he kept wanting to know the reason as to why I was ending it. And I told him that I felt like I couldn’t trust him. About a week later, I had really thought about it, and I guess you could say I forgave him. He kept telling me that I should know that he would never hurt me. He hasn’t changed since we’ve starting dating though – which is good. He’s been the same, sweet, amazing guy that I love. Still calls me every night and morning. But my problem is that he is a flirt. If a girl flirts with him, he will flirt back, but he might not know it.. I don’t know.. There is this one girl that works with me (We all work together. – Me, My Friend, My Boyfriend, and the girl that I was told he was cheating on me with.) and they are always flirting – but she doesn’t know that were dating. He does flirt back – but not too much because we are both the jealous type, and we do get mad with each other when we see flirting. He knows that I don’t like the girl, but he doesn’t really do anything..
Does he love me? Really love me? And could this relationship last? Am I the only one or is he “playing me?”
Hi I’m daten this guy we’ve been together since June 24th 2011. Then I got pregnant and then I had our son the whole time we’ve been together he’s been talkin to other girls and stuff but now he wants to get married wat do I do? How do Ik if he really loves me or if he’s with me bc of our son?
I been with my boyfriend for two years. He was having family problems. his father put him out. I felt bad and invited him to mobe into my home. We was getting along really good. But things changed. Don’t spend much time together because I am at work. when I come home He rarely home. He is in brooklyn with his family. I understand that family is inportant. I respect that. But when he around his family his personality changes. He treats and talk to me really bad. I have done a lot for this man and and I given him alot. I recall when nobody was there for him not even his family. I was the only one in his corner. I feel like I am losing him. when it comed to his family its screw me and family comes first. I know I’m not his family just a girlfriend. Don’t I deserve to be treated and appreciated by him. I really need your input on this situation.
I been with my boyfriend for two years. He was having family problems. his father put him out. I felt bad and invited him to move into my home. We was getting along really good. But things changed. we don’t spend much time together because I am at work. when I come home He rarely home. He is in brooklyn with his family. I understand that family is important. I respect that. But when he around his family his personality changes. He treats and talk to me really bad. I have done a lot for this man and and I given him alot. I recall when nobody was there for him not even his family. I was the only one in his corner. I feel like I am losing him. when it comes to his family its screw me and family comes first. I know I’m not his family just a girlfriend. Don’t I deserve to be treated and appreciated by him. I really need your input on this situation.
i love my bf he is so awesome but he can get a little annoying conserding we are 11 and 12 lol but he is the best and i love him with all my heart he does everything for me and with me and always ants to give me a hug lol i love him.
Hi Jodi,
If both of you are mutually supporting each other then thats a very good sign. Maybe you should think about where you want the relationship to go next and find out what he has in mind for the relationship. This will give you some idea on what steps to take next.
H
I have a boyfriend who does 11 of the 12 things you said. I really love him a lot, but I get the feeling from time to time that he rather spend time with his friends than with me. Should I just accept it and stop making a big deal about it or should I say something?
Hi Yolandi,
Yep you need to give him some space to be with his mates. One of the things that really scare men is loss of freedom and giving up their friends.
H
My boyfriend and I have been going out since December 5 2011 h always says he drinks and that he has two kids btw he is only 15 he is always saying how people in his family are always dieing and how he gets into fights everyday in like January he claimed I wa his true live and that he wanted to get married and stay together forever he said how he wanted to build a house when he got older so I asked who r u gonna live in it with and he was like idk who ever I marry I haven’t even thought about marrying anyone yet is all of this lies he Idk what to believe anymore
Hey, I don’t know if you still help people on here but I thought I’d give it a go. I am 13 almost 14, he’s 14 btw.
’ and he says ‘I hope we last weeks and weeks more’. Then he told me he loved me etc, then later he asked when I would like to kiss. Now most people think this is nothing, but tbh Bill is my first proper bf and he will be my first kiss, so I am petrified. But in a way I want to get it over and done with in the hope that we will be closer to each other afterwards…
and hopefully we will last weeks and weeks more because I don’t want to loose you’
So it all started when my close friend was dating his(Bill’s) identical twin (Hayden) and she found out Bill liked me. I thought nothing of it because A.I thought it was a crush and B. we never talked because he’s in the other year half therefor we have no lessons together and he’s not the bravest of guys. Then I don’t remember why – but he spoke to me on facebook and he was apologising for fancying me! I said that it’s fine etc and then we talked on fb ever since but the convo’s have been sorta awkward. So, then the saturday after my friend was meeting up with Hayden and asked if I would come so that I could get to know Bill. So in the end I did go but me and Bill didn’t talk at all, well we spoke a little bit more towards the end. But then I had to go and that was that – I did have a great time though, and the whole time my friend kept on saying that he really liked me. Then we kept on talking but not really interesting convo’s, if that makes sense – like we’d say how we were, what we were doing, somehow talk about films, then sometimes play truth or dare (all on facebook never face to face)
Then he asked me out and I said ‘I’d think about it’, I thought about it for 2weeks! I know it’s harsh to keep a guy hanging but I couldn’t decide what to do, and in the end I said yes. Afterthat he actually came up to me at school and spoke to me even though it was in the last week of term. He then asked me on facebook how long I wanted us too last. I said ‘dunno, longer than a week
He doesn’t know I haven’t kissed yet, but he knows I haven’t snogged.
So anyway, after we had been going out for a week – he messaged me on facebook saying ‘We have lasted a week
Now, I am not sure whether to believe him or not because A. He has had quite a few gf’s
B. He told me over facebook
Btw we only hug – we don’t hold hands or anything.
Erm, well that’s the main story…so if you could help in anyway or give me tips, and yer we’re both shy.
My boyfriend and I have been together over a year now and he says he loves me and I do believe him but he never talks to me online, he never rings me, he never arranges to go out with me and when I arrange to go out with him, he’ll agree then contact me the next morning saying he’s either going to be late or isn’t coming at all because his parents want him to go out with them. I can’t loose him! What do I do?! Please help me xxxx Ps: I have mentioned the lateness and stuff to him over three times and it did get better but mow we’re back to stage one..
OK… this has gone far enough my bestie’s bf keeps checkin me out and I don’t know how to tell her because she’s always in denial! He likes me and he’s using her to get to me. I read these to see if he does these to her and he just does them to me!!!!!! She thinks he’s heaven to her but he’s just another stupid boy. I wish it could stop I hate this and I don’t like him. I need help because I don’t know how to tell her in a way she’ll understand, and not just think I’m tring to steal her bf!
Hi amazement,
Maybe you can start by telling him that if he doesn’t stop you will let his GF know what’s going on. if he texts, emails or writes letters to you these can be used as evidence of what he is doing
H
Hi Megan,
Sorry to burst your bubble but all the things you mentioned are evidence that he is not that into you. Although it is a hard pill to swallow one of the best ways to deal with this it to get on with your life and with draw from him.
H
My boyfriend hangs with me every saterday or day he has to himself, but today we were supposed to hang out and he went out of town. I called him at 9 and his sister picked up and said he won’t be home till 2. I called back at 2 and he still wasnt home. He finally called at 5:30 and said he was “too drunk” to come over. What do i do if he does it again?
Hi Shelby,
First you need to have a very serious (but not angry) talk with him about how you feel about the incident. Let him know that you love him but don’t like that type of behaviour. You have to be clear about your standards and expectations of him.
If he does it again, show him that you are serious by telling him you cannot handle that behaviour and you need some space to think about it. After a few days of total break let him know what you are only willing to continue the relationship if he tells you what he is going to do about it.
Hope that helps
So i tryed to talk to him but he wasnt listening. So i got mad and walked all the way home. He called me like 10 times during my walk and when i got home he came over and wanted to talk and got mad when i tryed to reason with him about hanging out more. He left and didnt called me til this morning and asked to come over tomorrow. Do you think he’s mad still?
Me and my boyfriend Chris has been dating for 4 months but we have been talking as friends for about 4years. He is not over his ex and I know this. Every since we started dating we havent went on a date or haven’t done anything romantic. I don’t think he wants to be with me because he is always talking about his ex. Then I have his Facebook password and I be checking his messeges from her. And he always tells her how he still loves her and how he wants to be with her and how he misses her. Also how he want to do all these things for her like spoil her taking her out and buying her things. He never told me any of these things. I love him so much and I have been wanting to be with him since we became friends in high school. I try to talk to him about these things but he always get mad and say I’m irritating him or he just doesn’t listen. I want to be with him and make things work but I feel like I can’t do anything as long as she is still in the picture. She is ruining my relationship and I feel like he doesn’t care. Especially because he is so rude to me. When we go some where he always walks ahead of me and won’t hold my hand unless I grab his first. I’m the perfect girlfriend I treat him like a king and he treats me so horribly. I need his ex to disappear. I love him so much and want to be with him but I don’t know how long I can take this. Please help me
Hi Ra,
This guy is not emotionally available to you. Despite your strong feelings you need recognize this and let him go. After he has clearly gotten over and dealt with the ex situation then you can consider him. Right now you are just a distraction to him.
H
Hi Shelly,
I have no way of telling if he is still mad.
What is important is how you handle the situation when you meet again.
H
me and my boyfriend have been together since april 11th 2010 and were still growing strong he does everything the list above says and that makes me so happy cause he makes me so happy
ive been into alot of fights over him though these girls just dont know when to leave someone alone and they were suppose to be my friends until they tried to be slick an try to get with my man when he dont want them lol but i got him i dont need those fake girls as my friends i got real ones 
Me and my boyfriend haven’t dated for long and the only time he says how much he loves me and cares about me through text messages he doesn’t call me anymore and last week I found out he was cheating on me with another girl I forgave him cuz I really care about him when ever we are around each other he’s really sweet but he is not the same when his friends are around us. Every weekend he gets drunk and I also do too we kiss and make out but he has the intentions of more then that his brother said if he keeps doing that to me o deserve some one better then that someone that won’t get me to do anything I don’t want but he only says that cuz he also likes me and I used to have a thing foe him until he started dating my best friend what should I do??
Babygirl,
Firstly you should decide and fix in your mind how you want to be treated and also what type of relationship you would like to be in.
Also decide if you can or would tolerate cheating in an exclusive relationship.
Let your boyfriend know clearly what you want and stand by these standards even if he walks away. If you compromise he will only use you and eventually leave any way.
Hilton
Hilton
So I told him that that I didn’t like that he was cheating on me an the way he was cheating on me and treating me like I was crap he told me to go to he’ll and fuck myself and he wasn’t even there for me when I needed his help the most but him and his brother got into a fight over what he said to me so I broke up with him and I think I’m going to try going out with his brother but first get to know him a little better
Hi Babygirl,
Congrats on being clear about your principles. i understand that it would be emotionally hard on you. However this is a growth process.
However I must tell you its a very bad idea to get back into a relationship so soon – especially with his brother. It may cause more harm than good.
Take a break and move on.
H
me and my boyfriend broke up then got back together and i want to tell him how much i love him and how much he means to me but im like legit shy what do i do
Hi May,
How about showing him how much you love him in the things you do and the way you act towards him. These are much more powerful than anything you can ever say!
H
I Don’t know if my boyfriend loves me because 1 min his saying i love you and giving me hugs the when he’s around his friends and i walk past him he doesn’t really says anything he just hugs me ?
pls help Pray For Me and him to have a long lasting relationship x thanks x
Ok. Me and my boyfriend been dating since 2007. Throughout those years he been cheating and he had a baby on me. So I broke up with him and then he say he miss and love me so I took him back. That was a big mistake he start doing what he do best so I broke up with him. But this last particually time I took Him back and now he treating me right he say he’s ready to settle down and he sorry about the past. Hesay if he could go back handheld would change what happen in his past. But I just wont to know do he mean it or is he really cheating on me. Even though I’m still in high school (17) and he (21).
hi hilton,
m really in a fix i jst dated this amazing guy for over 7 months but due to family pressure i had to break relations , my mon asked me to get back to my ex my ex new abt me dating this guy he wanted me thru out the tym we werent together but nw wen m back with him he is kinda ignoring me i am the one to message him and ask him to cal me .he says i love u and i miss u but i dunno if its true..please help me
Hi sweetheart,
Yours is the classic case of wanting someone when you can’t have them but after getting them the lure and novelty wears off. What you need to do is to back off a bit and allow him to chase you. At this stage of the relationship do not give more than you are getting.
H
Hi Shawty
You probably need to give the relationship time to see if he has really changed. Only time will tell.
H
Hi Princess
If he doesn’t want to relate to you in public and in front of his friends – he is not that into you.
H
dey say lv is blnd bt in my case its also death and stupid and it looks lyk a batchelor fridge virtualy empty except for the tv remote and hlf a jar of pickles
I’ve been with my boyfriend since November, I met him in August, I thought that was the last time I saw him, then I saw him again in October during a dinner, in August during hurricane Irene I was on duty(EMS) and his grandma wasn’t doing too good, when we arrived at the house I saw a guy run across the street and went in the house then immediately came outside and stood directly across me and said “hi” and started making conversation, he mentioned he was a firefighter in my town. That was the last time I saw him until October during an inspection parade, we were celebrating and I stepped out and little did I know he was behind me, and it was him again, so we started talking the whole night, and we’ve been together since, he calls me beautiful, and makes me feel beautiful, and calls me to make sure I’m happy, his family loves me because he talks so much about me, the little things he does for me makes me happy. He always tells me he loves me everyday. We are from 2 very different cultures but that doesn’t matter for both of us.
Hi Kacey that’s not a healthy relationship, it’s obvious that he is loosing interest in you, there isn’t any point in wasting time when you can’t get the same affections back. He tells people that you aren’t together that’s a clear sign that he isnt into you. You don’t need it there are plenty of men in the world that will worship you and clearly he isn’t one. Claim your independence and someone will find interest in your courage
I’ve. Been hanging out with this guy and I figured out that I’m falling was over heels for him and I want to know if he is feeling the same way
He always complements my eyes (thanks for small boobs so he won’t get lost in the grand canyonhaha) he sends me goodmorning texts said that I’m really pretty and don’t need makeup wear make up he forgot that we were soppost to hang out after school and then I told him and he like apologized a thousand times he’s wayy out of my league and he chooses me does he feel the same way I do about him
my boyfriend and i hv been going out for two months, he does 10/12 of the things you mentioned bt i from time to time get dis feeling dat mybe he wants us to breakup and his scared to tell me, i love him so mch and i dnt wana lose , i jst wish our relationship would last 4va. now the problem is my ex bf which i stil love wants us to get back again and nw hs everything i wanted hs to be before we brokeup, he wants a serious relationship with me and he wants to commit him self to me and that want i want but i cnt leave the guy i am with now for 2 reasons. 1 I LOVE HIM……….2 HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHNG TO HURT ME, but i might be loose my hubby on the other hand*sad*
PLZ help want should i do.
hi I’m Victoria
I’m just 14 but I hav a boyfriend since 21 may 2012 . we both study in the same school and we are classmates . so the thing is I left my school and I joined in an other place so I wanna make sure I don’t lose him my other friends say he is flirting to much with another girl so I’m getting scared if she will steal him from me .
but I hav asked him about this he says there is nothing so I don’t mind him talking to her but she tries to be a little touchy with him and I don’t like that . I hav even told that to my boyfriend he says he wil be careful of that .
but for the past few days he is not reponding my calls every well which is hurting my feelings a lot . I wanna go meet him but can’t .
so I need some help coz I truly believe him a lot and I love him for no cause I don’t wanna lose him !!
so please help me out
thnx
Carol,
Maybe what you should do is to make a list of everything you want in a relations and from a man. Write anything and everything that comes to your mind. then write another list of things you do not want.
Compare which of these 2 guys give you the most and make a decision. Staying on the fence of indecision will only cause frustration and pain.
Hilton
Victoria,
The best option is not to get too jealous or possesive or even clingy. These qualities drive men away. Men sometime withdraw for all kinds of reasons. Although it is not very comfortable for you it is best to step back, give him a bot of space and let him have some freedom. Chasing him will be counterproductive.
H
My boyfriend and I have a strange relationship. On Friday, we had our school dance and he asked me to go with him and I said yes. I hid in the bathroom for most of it because I was so scared and now I feel REALLY bad. My friends even tried to drag me out. I was really scared because I can’t even talk to him so how was I going to dance with him? My friends said that he was almost crying because I wouldnt come out. Eventually, he came and tried to talk to me through the bathroom door but I couldn’t hear what he was saying. When I finally went out to the dance, he asked me to dance with him on the next slow song and I told him that I wasnt allowed to because my parents would be do mad at me. Towards the last ten minutes of the dance, my friend (who just happened to be my ride home) got kicked out because she didn’t go to the school so I had to leave. My friends said he saw me leave and he started crying because he thought it was because of him. I love him and I feel bad because I hurt him. I don’t want to lose him! What do I do?!?
I’m 22 years old and my partner has a young daughter so he is in contact with his ex, a lot and sees her 4 times a week to pick his daughter up and drop her back and it’s making me feel so insecure, I know he loves me, he’d do anything for me and I play a big part in his daughters life but he was in love with his ex, they were together for long time, I’m scared he might cheat on me with her; how am I meant to tell if he would, as he obviosuly finds her attractive or he would never of gone out with her in the first place?
If someone truly is in love with you can they cheat?
I know I could never and would never do that but could he? would he?
My man shows no interest in me anymore, when i ask him to go out he tells me hes going ot church, he goes ot evening church 3 times a week and i feel negleted, he hardly tells me im beautiful or loves me, the only time he tell me he loves me is when we are doing the dance, which is not good anymore, i meet this guy who always sms me in the morning and after noon, and when i make a call back he calls immediately and all our conversation end by him telling me he loves me, he always send me airtime so i can call him whenever, he leaves in mpumalanga and im in gauteng, not sure what to do?
Hi Sewela,
You may want to have a chat with your man telling him how you miss the attention he use to give you. Tell him how it would make you feel if he spends time with you and give you compliments. Let him know that you get distracted when other men do that to you and you wish he would be the one who does it.
I do not know if you are married or just in a relationship. If you are married it would be best to revive your relationship than try pursue an affair which always end up as a huge disaster.
Hilton
Hi Rach,
Just to say one of the worst things you can do at this point to obsess about him cheating. This would sour the relationship and indeed tempt him into doing the very thing you fear.
I am not telling you to be unconcerned, but be more confident and sure about who you are and why he is with you. after all his child’s mother is his ex for a reason and you are his current woman because he desires and want you.
Be assured and be confident
Hilton
My boyfriend does all but 6 and 7 those are the most important to me at this time because he doesn’t do them.
My boyfriend of 7 years doesn’t even acknowledge me anymore. When I cry he calls me stupid and tells me he doesn’t care and that I need to go talk to my mom instead of him because he doesn’t want to hear it. We have no time together and he seems to now hate my son who’s 11 years old. He never calls me pretty and when I asked him today if he loves me he hung up on me.
Hi Denise,
From what you have written not only does your boyfriend lost respect for you he is show disdain and contempt. I am not sure what you have been doing and not doing to warrant this; or maybe its a sign that he is cheating.
If you need more specific help contact me directly.
H
Hi, me and my boyfriend have been dating since march 31,2011 and we haven’t been the best lately. Last summer (when we first started dating) he made me feel incredible, like there wasn’t another girl in the world for him. He made me feel beautiful, and like I was his. But now, things have changed so much. He never compliments me anymore, he can never hang out with me, we argue constantly, and he doesn’t make me feel incredible or beautiful anymore. I love him with everything in me and everyone says I need to let go, but I can’t. He hangs up on me and ignores me and never tells me how much he loves me anymore. Now, he puts me down and makes me feel like sh*t and I don’t know what to do. .. When we argue he ignores me and it makes me even madder. I can’t hold back my anger when it comes to him because I don’t know what to do! HELP ME !
Hi Sandra,
Sorry to hear of your problem. I do think you deserve much better treatment.
I am not sure what you have done to deserve such gross disrespect; or maybe you have not done anything – maybe he is cheating. Perhap too you have given him everything and will do anything for him so he has no challenge. You have become cheap and dispensable.
There are about 7 things you can do but I will mention 3 here.
1. Stop creating drama around the issue – getting mad and angry only makes things worst
2. Get your power back – do not plead, beg or nag him to love you. Although you may feel that you desperately want his approval.
3. Get busy. Exercise, work more, get involved in hobbies and things you like doing – in other words do not sit around and have a pity party start occupying your mind and heart with other things than him. Funnily enough this may even cause him to start noticing you again.
Talk soon.
H
PS. If you need more help contact me directly
my boyfriend got in a fight b/c some guys were constantly talking about me and eventually i guess he got tierd of it and fought the rumor was that i had kissed some one else and he got introuble so when he and his perants talked about the situation he began to not know who to belive having his perants say it and students at school say it. he ended up douting me so now his mom thinks i am the most horrible person her son should date and now she has come up with all these excuses for us to not date like , ever since we started to date his grades have gotten low , or he has changed alot. and she has seen us behave in public and she thinks i am way too touchy. and now everytime she is around we cant even hold hands. and evertime i try to touch him e pulls me away. does he really love me?
Hi Perez,
Seems to me that he may be a bit confused right now. You may want to give him some space to process this in his mind. Be sure to let him know that you love him and would prefer a relationship with him, however do not push, force or overwhekm him. If he pulls back don’t chase him allow him. He is more likely to come back to you when you respect his desire to work things out in his mind
H
My fiance and I have been seeing eachother for 5 years now and he never tells me he loves me n inside that hurts cos I want him to and he never ever sticks up for me he always choose he’s mates. And we also have a little girl together :’(
Hilton your just plain rude , how can you tell someone that their boyfriend is just not in to them not being funny but he must be if he is back with her and chose her again says everything really…I’m a lucky one my boyfriend is amazing and he does all of the above and I trust him and no one would tell me different because a relationship is about trust yes it ent that easy to do that but by not trusting the person your with makes things a lot worse for both yourself and your partner!?
Hi Gem,
I feel it for you. You seem to be someone who like others to express their feelings of love for you in words. However either you boyfriend do not fully understand how much it means to you or he just don’t care.
I would choose a time when he is in a very good mood and explain how much it really means to you when he tells you romantic and even sensual things. Remind him of a time when he did it and how much you appreciated it.
H
Me and my boyfriend have been going out a little over 2 years now. He is my first serious boyfriend. I’m 18 and he’s 20, our relationship was never very good in high school, we kind of did stuff behind eachothers back. Texted other people, and kind of even did things to make eachother mad. One day he told me he cheated on me because he thought i cheated on him when really i never did. I would never think about cheating on him because i love him. Well because i did all that stuff when we were in highschool i lost his trust and he kind of lost mine. He always thinks im lying and that i’m doing stuff behind his back and im really not, im trying to have a good happy life with him now. I’m working and going to college now, i’ve grown up alot since i was in highschool, and once i graduated i moved in with him and that changed everything. Right now im 7 months pregnant and he’s still acting like he did when he was in highschool and he graduated a year before me. I’ve stopped lying to him, doing stuff behind his back, i’ve been telling him the truth and the things that i’m doing. so he knows im not doing anything behind his back but now matter what i show him or do he is always going to think that i’m lying and doing things behind his back but really i’m trying to make our relationship better for us and our baby. What can i do to help make him see that i am trying to be a better person than the person i was in highschool?
Hi Rae,
Unfortunately past behaviour could colour what people think of you in the present. Funnily trying too hard to convince him may only make him more suspicious. My susgestion is to be open, transparent, answer any question he may have and even show him evidence of phone logs etc. Once you have done all you could leave it to him to decide. You can never convince him if he doesn’t want to believe.
Also another simple thing to do is not to make a big deal out of it issue. This only adds to the problem.
H
Hi, me and my boyfriend have been dating since 19 October,2011 we used to meet everyday and chatting all night on facebook or skype but i used to chat with my exboyfriend 5 months ago but just as a friend but my boyfriend take that wrong way we had really bad fight about it and i made promise that i’ll never talk to my exboyfriend so everything was going very well but moths ago i find out my boyfriend is smoking weed and that he chatting with others girls behind my back he promise me many times that he is not gonna do that anymore but he keep doing that and also two weeks ago i find out that he meet some girl in the shop and they been chatting and calling each other behind my back and he forget to deleted the conversation on skype so i take the phone and i read it and he was so nice to her he tell her that she’s so beautiful and he never see more beautiful girl in the word then her and he ask her if she want to be with him but in this same time he was with me but he had fight with me but he’s the one who make that fight he always going on about my exboyfriend and he call me with names and all the time when we have any fight he telling me to go back to my exboyfriend but i dont have any feeling for my exboyfriend and i dont even talk to him so “how can i know if he love me???” and he make excuse that he just chat with that girl because he was think that im talk to my exboyfriend but i haven’t talk to my exboyfrind since from that day that we made promise that im not gonna talk to my exboyfriend or any boy and he promise to do this same thing to not chat with girl but he has changes since from that day he chat with that girl he say he just like her but that he love me and that he deosnt want to lose me and that he want to spend rest of his life with me but he’s not like he used to be he always telling me lies and he keep hiding things from me we also had argument today because i havent tell him that long time ago i had operation but i really didn’t remember that and he was calling me names on the road and after when i get home he sent me a lot of horrible messages and and he call me lie but i haven’t lie about anything i just didnt remember about the operation also i have find out that i have anemia and that i might have epilepsy and when we had fight my boyfirned bring that out and call me disease and with some horrible name after that he apologize but is not first time when he call me with names when he get angry and after that he apologize and next day he will do this same thing he say that he’s sorry for what he say but he’s ignoring me i call him he to check if he’s at home but he doesn’t replay to my messages and i have no idea why is he that way and i really love him and i dont want to lose him but i have no idea what to do and if he love me anymore he also tell me that he only had one exgirlfriend but they have never done that i was his first .. but i have no idea if is true or not
errm my boyfriend doesnt do any apart from half of one :/ the “He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.” only half cause he hasnt met my parents (my fault) and he sometimes annoys my friends :/ ermm should i be woried? i really dont know whats going on, he never texts me unless i text him first but is always texting other people :/ please , anyone help? what should i do? is he cheeting cause when i wanna meet up hes always “busy” im really confused……
Hi Fadela,
Sounds as if you boyfriend is bored, too confortable or cheating. There are several things you can do but let me suggest one. simply step back. If he doesn’t call or text don’t call him. Simply find something fun and exciting to do. When he calls spend a little time with hin and tell him you have to go because you are busy.
This may sound crazy but it will help him to see you as special again.
H
Hi Anna,
Hmmm. Anna I know you love your boyfriend. You will do anything to keep him. Believe it or not one sure way to lose him is take all his disrespect and put-downs without letting him know how you feel about it.
Secondly your case become even more complicated it your boyfriend is addicted to weed. You will have to reconsider if you want to be in a relationship with an addict. His addiction would be more important to him than you
H
Hi, i have been with my boyfriend since the 15th of April 2011 (I’m going on 17 and him 19) and i love him so much. Whenever I’m with him I feel like nothing can ever go wrong and I feel so safe and loved, like I actually mean something to someone for the first time. He makes me laugh and kisses me and shows me off. But I know i can’t trust him, he used to like all these pictures of girls and i asked him to stop and he did but did it once more and got angry at me because i was upset. He was then talking about having sex with a girl nicknamed “Titney” as jokes with his friends. Then he would be flirting with girls on facebook and saying that he was just being friendly. We promised that if somebody starts to hit on us that we would tell them that we’re not interested but he doesn’t. Then a girl made out with him at a party claiming that she forced herself on him and after that he added them on facebook and she’s written on his wall a few times yet he says he doesn’t speak to her? He then didn’t tell me that this girl who he’s friends with had a sex dream with him and i found out the day after our one year anniversary that he had a sex dream about her too. I confronted him about it and he said that he was just checking if she liked him.
He know’s I don’t believe a word he says anymore, not even that he loves me or that I’m beautiful. I honestly love him and hate him at the same time. He just promises me he’ll change and than he’ll go and break it again. I’ve given him a third chance and after that I’m leaving for good. He appologises and cries sometimes about it but he has know idea how much It’s affected me. I feel like i can’t even look in the mirror anymore because i feel so repulsed and as if I’m not good enough, i feel like i should look like the girls he wants instead of me and sometimes i feel so useless and meaningless that i just imagine different ways of killing myself and imagining that he would care.
Sometimes he gets angry that i can’t let go, i tried the first time but it’s so hard to let go the second time. When i mention broken promises he sometimes mentions how i’ve broken my promise about stopping cutting myself yet it’s so hard to tell him that the reason i broke it and cut myself again was because of him breaking those promises.
I don’t know what to do, i can’t let it go and i’m so worried but when I’m with him in person i feel so happy and that i don’t have anything to worry about. He says he wants to marry me but now I’ve told him that i don’t know if i want to anymore. I just want to be happy with him and he says he’ll change but i want to somehow undo the past, him to go back and fix his mistakes before he ever made them. I know that I’m sticking to my promise that I’ll leave him if he does it again it’s just how do i help myself get over this? Yesterday i found myself looking up plastic surgery and how to tie a noose, I feel so depressed when I’m away from him and so scared he’ll hurt me again. I don’t mean to sound like a drama queen and I’m sorry about the length. I feel like it helps me to get it out but whenever i do i find myself and him crying or us shouting at one another through texts or ignoring each other
My boyfriend only dors like 4 of the above but neither of us told our parents bc we might get in trouble but everyone in school knows. But he almost never texts me back and if he does, doesn’t try to make a conversation or if I start one, doesn’t continue texting me. And I have been the one making efforts to hang out. I’m afraid I have fallin in love with someone who doesn’t love me back.
Even though he always says he loves me, I’m not sure.
Hi Shenae,
Thank you for reaching out and sharing your vulnerable feelings. That is very brave of you. I fully understand that you feel strongly for this person and you want him to value you so much.
Unfortunately you are somehow beginning to think that your value is based totally on him and the relationship. While it is great to have a great relationship and get love from someone else, maybe you may want to consider getting other sources of finding esteem and value.
Here are several suggestions:
1. Please see a proffesional therapist or counselor
2. start exercising or doing some physical activity at least 3 times a week
3. find some hobby that you are interested in and start doing them
4. Volunteer you time to help someone else
5. Get more friends and people who can give you positive feedback about your value and potential
6. Pray. I do not know if you have a faith background but this has been shown to help
7. Remember while it is good to have his love hurting yourself will not force him to be with you.
Keep strong
Hilton
I have been with this guy for 7 months… I’m still too young to drive and my parents are letting him come over soon when they can be around to keep an eye on us… He has a lot going on in his life and so he shuts out most stuff. His emotions are blank. Some days he is so romantic and sweet some days he just is dull and responds but not fun… He really is a nice guy and shows only me his weaker more gentle not crazy self. I am trying not to fall in love too hard or else I will get hurt… I can’t see him at his place either because his mother doesn’t like me and she is just a terrible person. He tells me he loves me. He used to say he didn’t want to lie and he wasn’t sure if it was love and he hoped it was. The other day he asked how I knew I loved him and I told him, he said he felt the same then some. So now we are back to I love yous. He sometimes talks about us in the future… And he really sincerely wants it to happen as much as I do… I just don’t know now because I get so depressed when he doesn’t say he loves me one night before bed… And all his friends tell me he misses me a lot and stuff but that one negative friend puts me down with “its ‘love’ not real your too young” …. But I really hope it is… Because I have known him almost 4 years.. and dated him almost 1…
I’ve been with my boyfriend for about 5 months now officially, unofficially longer. He does all that list with me.. I know i am in love with him. But im finding it very hard thing to say to the point were im getting moody with myself for not saying it and end up crying because i’ve keeping my emotions locked up for so long.. i’ve been in a long relationship before and felt like i said it way too early in previous ones.. i don’t want to spoil it by saying it too soon. Also he’s had a very tough time with love with previous relations… before we got together and were just friends he would tell me about them and think love was an awful thing.. so this makes me anxious as well to say that word to him. I wanted to say it to him today while we were layed on the sofa together looking into each others eyes.. but i feel like im going to throw up and start shaking.. I know it needs to be said soon.. but when? I dont want to mess things up with him… hes the one i have been waiting for.. i have loved him for quite a while now. please help. should i tell him ? or should i wait a little longer.
Hi Sammi,
It seems to me that you feel that you will mess up things if you say I love you too soon. it may be that you feel it is a very great commitment to say that.
Why not start by giving him compliments and appreciation for what he love about him and what he does for you. let him know how these positively affect you. Praise him for who he is and what he does. These small things can have a very great impact and may help you to let him know how you really feel later
H
I have been with this guy for 4 months as of July 2,2012 and I love him sooooo much. I could never live without him. But he hasn’t been talking to me and actually texts my best friend more than me, and he is always touching her. It took him one whole day to just hug me. I think he doesn’t love me back. I’m afraid that I am in love with someone who doesn’t love me back. And this doesn’t help how low my self esteem is. I find myself looking up sucide ideas that are painless.
But when I think of maybe trying one, I think of my family and how only some might be heart broken and sad, and then of my few friends that I would be hurting and can’t come to do it. The one person I always think about though is (my now ex boyfriend thanks to one of my friends that really hates him). And how much I will miss him. But then I’m afraid that right after (like maybe a week after) he will ask someone out and not even care about me. I don’t know what to do. And I feel after my friend took my phone and said that stuff to him he hates me.
Hi Hilton,
I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now. It’s not been the easiest relationship in the world. We have argued a lot since we have been going out. Things have started to get better, but i feel like i don’t speak to a lo of my friends anymore because of him not trusting them with me, or him not liking them. To save arguments I don’t really have much to do with them anymore.
Days that we don’t see eachother I feel really lonely as i don’t see anyone or do anything. When he doesn’t see me, he always goes out and goes out with his mates. Am i being horrible for being jealous for him going out with his mates all the time?
Since we have been going out, I think I have seen 4 of his mates, and not for very long. I don’t really feel like i’m part of his life like he is with mine. I have brought it up with him a number of times, and he says that he is going to change it, but he never does! It’s starting to really get me down now. I want a relationship that we can just go to my or his mates house, or on a night out and feel like a stranger…
I love him to bits, and that’s why through all of the arguments we have stayed together.
He has asked me to go to his works summer party next week, but i’m not sure if I should go. I have a really good feeling that he is gonna just leave me a lone all night and I’m gonna end up having an argument with him, or I just go home early (which will cause an argument)
What do you think I should do about it all? x
OK so me and my boyfriend been dating since September 2009 and at first he did everything on the list but now he don’t really do anything we like together and i love him but i miss the romance but the other day he was txting this girl that he says is his friend but i catch him flirting with her and her him then he delete the txt messages i ask him about her and he keeps on telling me there friends what should i do
i just started to date this guy on the 4th of july hes so cute and i love him.he slightly flirts with my bff and he flirts back he said he loves me but i am not sure.my bff was mad at me and tried to hit me he told her to back off and he grabed her.someone help dose he truley love me?
I started a sexual relationship nine months ago while married. Everything seemed wonderful. We texted when we could. We would meet for our sexual encounters. My husband and I became seperated and divorced. My husband was into men. So, let’s call him W, W and I began having more sexual encounters while I was seperated. Keep in mind everything had to be kept secret. Well nine months later, I’m divorced and he wants to see me but not be exclusive. We only meet for sex, he doesn’t text much, he never calls. I know I love him, but he has time for friends but not me. He told me he didn’t want a relationship. He is a widow and it’s almost been two years. When we have sex..it’s not just sex. He says let me mAke love to you, we cuddle, he cares about my satisfaction..so what do I do. Stay hidden? Keep sex going, drop him, I love him..
Hi V,
Unfortunately I have to tell you that your relationship is very shaky. It is only based on sex and that cannot sustain a relationship for long. You have bonded to him because sex does cause women to bond, however he is not equally bonded to you except for the pleasure he gets.
The best way forward – although it is very difficult to do – is to cut off the sex and try to build a relationship based on friendship. He may or may not agree, however your relationship has very little chance of succeeding either way.
H
I have been with my guy for about 2 months, and he is always telling me tht he loves my and all tht cute stuff. But he never does any of tht stuff listed above. Some times I feel lke tht I am not as Important to him as I should be, which I don’t think is fun. He is the first person I think of in the morning and the last at night. I feel lke I have drop the world just for him, and he can’t even give the sense of reassurance. What do I do? And I am afraid to talk to him about this kind of stuff.
Hi Alexia,
The greatest mistake and many other women make is to love their boyfriend too much. they give up their friends, hobbies, interest and “world” for this man only to get little or nothing from him.
Quite frankly men do not like this. Although you think that it would make him happy on the contrary it only makes him feel bored and he quickly lose interest.
The best thing you can do right now is to get your life back. Get your friends, hobbies and interest back. It will not only do wonders for you esteem but also make you more interesting to him.
H
Hi Felicia,
When a man pulls away from you do not chase him. Give him space and step back.
H
Hi Audrina,
Sorry for the delay in responding to you. Based on what you wrote it looks as if your BF is trying to isolate you. It seems as though he wants to be the only person for you to depend on. That is very dangerous – you do not have friends and he still maintain his mates.
I would quite gently but firmly explain that you should either develop mutual friends or you be allowed to keep your friends if he wants to maintain his. I would also happily go along to his party and make friends with people there.
Your relationship will become very unhealthy if things continue as they are.
H
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month. We have a good friendship that we established before we started dating where we can talk about anything. The first two weeks we had been dating were great. Now, I am feeling like he is losing interest and getting complacent with where we are. Before he called a lot and showed how much he liked me by coming around me and planning romantic things for us to do and cuddling. He was trying to spend time with me whenever he wanted.Now, I have to ask to him to come see me and when I tell him that I’d like to see him, and that I miss him, need his affection and his love or that I’d like to bond with him or spend time with him for just an hour he says he will come and then he won’t because he didn’t feel like it or if I ask him to come over today he will say “Oh well I was actually thinking about coming tomorrow.” So, he basically stops by now when he feels like it and I think it is because he knows that he has me and feels like he doesn’t have to do romantic things anymore now that we are together.And he is in the habit of planning dates and changing what we are going to do while we are on the date to go out with friends or whatever. For example, he will plan a Friday night date for dinner and a movie and after dinner decide not to go to the movies and just do drinks because he’s planned something with his friends. I try to communicate with him and tell him where I am coming from and see if he is happy. He says he is happy but I’m not. Now he waits on me to call him. And if I don’t, he calls because he thinks I am mad at him.Does this mean he has lost interest?
Hi Paris,
Men love in cycles. Sometimes he will be totally into you and other times for some unknown reason (even to himself) he withdraws and seem to lose interest.
The best thing to do during those times is to give him space and not pressure him. In fact use the time to pursure your own interest and friends. DO NOT totally depend on him to provided all your emotional needs, instead have fun and happy times with your friends and family.
Believe if or not he will come back after he realizes that you have a life of your own apart from him
H
Hi, my boyfriend and I have dated before, broken up, had a thing for over a year, and have been going out again for 4 months now. When he asked me if I’d marry him I said yes because that’s what I really want. He’s in tech school right now for the Air Force, we talk every day and he always says he loves me. Sometimes I don’t hear my phone go off because I’m asleep when he calls. Out of the blue today he facebook messaged me saying we’ll need to talk when he gets back. What does this mean? I’m scared, nervous, and confused because we haven’t had a fight since we started dating again. Someone please help me out it would be much appreciated. Thanks.
Hi Jade,
Nobody can tell you what he wants to talk about. The worst thing you can do right now is to panic and imagine all kind of crazy things. I understand the long wait can be frustrating. If you cannot wait just call him and explain that the message seems important and its very difficult for you to concentrate on anything else. Ask him if he can discuss it over the phone or on skype.
H
Hi I have been going out wiv my boyfriend for 2 yrs now an we have had a child who is 1 now and my boyfriend tells me that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life wiv me but since having a child he as been abit weird wiv me
He is always on his phone day and night always txting and wen he
Needs to use the house phone he runs up stairs an stays in the bedroom when he never used to do that he used to be in the same room as me wen he used the phone
I have recently found out that he as been asking girls for there bbm pins so he can take dirty to them cz I hve caught him doing it once in the first year of are relationship an i asked him bout it an he sed it is just for a laugh an then sometimes he says that he does not know what i am on about but I am worried that he might be cheating on me cz I hve been cheated on in the past so It is difficult for me to believe him wen he says he is not
He says that he wud never cheat on me cz he loves me to much an he says that he wants more kids
He spends time wiv me but not as often as he used to he does do things for me an helps me out but I just don’t no what to do
I got with my boyfriend in 2010, but he went to prison. He just got out in April this yr. At first he was always romantic snd passionate and doing things for me like bringing me a plate of dinner in bed, etc. He was wonderful with my son, the wholw works. All of a sudden he started smoking weed again and noe hes going outside to smoke with his baby mams in her car at 3am, deleting texts, the only time he spends with me is when we have sex. But he also started being controlling. Is he cheating? Whats going on?
Hi,me and my boyfriend have been in a relationship for about 6 weeks and he told me he loves me,but he has never introduced me to his family,only one of his friends,and he has not introduced me to his kids!! he has met my kids tho!! he pays his babymama’s light bill and is taking care of a child by her that is not his because he claims he is like a father figure to him’whatever’….and he will not let me see his phone!..he lives with his parents but has not brought me over there yet! i dont even know if he has talked to any one about me..i caught him trying to meet up with a girl on tagged,and we got into a heated argument and almost broke up..he claims he is just a flirt but i told him if you want to be with me you have to stop..he said okay..but i think he is going behind my back and talking and doing other girls..he is overconfident but he always compliments me when we see each other..we used to see each other every other day,now its once or twice every two weeks?? now i think im pregnant by him,i want to leave now!!but dont dont kno what i should do..please help!!
Hi Pooh,
1. Confirm if you are pregnant of not
2. If you are you have some hard decisions to make. I am pro life so would encourage you to have a talk with him and let him know how you feel. find out if he is willing to support you emotionally, physically and financially with the child.
3. If you are not pregnant you need to be clear about what you will not accept in the relationship. If need him to be honest, transparent and committed and he is not then you are not compatible. It will not get better. Leave and look for someone who is willing to give you what you need.
H
Hi angellips,
The question you need to ask yourself is: Is this the type of behavior you want? Are you willing to put up with it? What are your principles around this type of attitude?
If not then you need to be clear about what you will not accept in a relationship.
Men will push the boundaries if yiou allow them and they will not respect you if you become a push over.
H
Hi Leanne,
I does sound as if your bf does still love you however he maybe playing the field or trying to have his cake and eat it.
One of the best and most effective way to handle this – although its not easy to do – is to tell him that you love and appreciate him. Inform him that you would love to spend your life with him but you cannot afford to be with someone who cheats. Tell him that if he wants he is free to go and be with whomever he wants to be with.
In other words give him his freedom but do not accept cheating
h
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. I love him dearly. However, I have had a lot of bad things that happened over the last few months ( not involving him). But now he sends messages to his friends say that he doesn’t know if we are gonna work. I understand that the things that have happened to me have put stress on him, but i feel like he still loves me. He just has people pushing him in the wrong direction. How can I show him that we truly are meant for each other?
Hi Hilton,
Me and my bf have been together for 3 months now. But I feel lke we r drifting, he bailed twice on me and then told me tht he doesn’t have time for me. I fell lke he doesn’t want me anymore. We txt and he leaves me hanging, and he thinks its ok. He never tells me tht he loves anymore. I told myself tht I would never cry because of him, but I already broke tht promise. So I stared to hang out with some guys friends, and my now girlfriends are kinda made at me, hinking tht I am ditching him . But I just don’t know what to do anymore, I love him but the other guys tht I hang out with treat me so much better and always have time for me. please help me, I don’t want to lose him, but Idk if I have to let him go </3
Hi Alexia
People treat you how you allow them to. If you do not like the way you are being treated then you should take firm and clear actions about it. If you don’t then your integrity will be blighted and he will lose respect for you and treat you like trash.
It maybe best that you step back and give him space rather than to be treated like a door mat. At the same time get out and spend time with people who will give you the respect you deserve.
H
me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a month he always loved talking to me and hanging out with me but now alot of things have changed he is less affectionate now and everytime we hang out he never has anything to say and he likes to spend less time with me and never looks at me in the eye but he tells me with emotion that he wants me to stay faithful to him and that he loves me but he is showing the total opposite he acts like hes not even happy im just confused he takes care of me but doesnt really act like hes into me anymore
Me and my bf have been together for 10 months now and i just found out that he told this girl who is supposed to be his bff that he would be with her if i wasnt for me and he said more than that but i read the dates on all he messages and the date he wrote those messages was on 3/19/2012 should i be worried?
uhmm hi i really need your hlp..
im dating this guy since 4mnths..he lives in-front ov my house..we are frnds since 2011..he proposd me a year ago bt i did not accept him as i was dating anothr guy..we broke up (i and my ex boyfrnd) bt i was singl for a year..he again proposd me saying that he was waiting for me since last year..he gave me his fb passwrd..i didnt found anythng in his messages..whn we meet i check his cell bt still i feel he is cheating on me as i had bad xperinces before in my relationshps..nd i reali wnt this relationshp pleaz tell me how cn i find out if hee is loyal to me..i cant ask him myslf as i am afraid he might get hurt or somethng pleaz hlp me out
Basically, i have been with bf for a year now, i broke up with a couple of times before because didn’t think i liked him properly, it upset him a lot anyway got back with him 4 months ago and were going great, better than ever because i realized i was actually inlove with him and wanted to be with him forever, but recently he comes home from work and goes straight to bed, doesn’t even text/call me, i only get to see him at weekends because of work and we argue on most of them, last weekend he took me for some drinks and i said how my knees really hurt (i have a problem with them), he offered to rub them, i said no cause it made them feel worse, but he still did it anyway, told him to stop many times and he didn’t, it was like he was enjoying annoying me, in the end i burst into tears because i was in agony, and walk out, he says he’s had enough and that he thinks we should end it, i say maybe we should, then he starts crying. He apoligizes and i forget about it, i mean it had never happened before, just thought he was in an annoying mood! Now last thursday i call him, ask if he’s gunna come round, has a huge go at me saying ‘you know me and your dad don’t get on, because you live with him now i don’t really wanna see you’ i cry again, have a huge argument, meet him next day, sort it, he calls me that night and i told him i had spoken to the citizens advice beruea about a place to live has another go at me about how embarrassing it would be to have a gf on benefits, etc, etc. I ask him why he is being like this and he tells me he doesn’t care about me anymore so i tell him that we shouldn’t be together anymore and he crys saying that he doesn’t want us to break up… I am worried sick on what to do, we were planning on moving in together at the end of this year! I love him but do you think he will change, he said he will but i need someone else’s opinion, please help! Sammi xx
i have a boyfriend and i love him soooooo much he loves me even more but the problem is that he get very jealous he make standards of people i should and should not talk to and the worst part he had a girlfriend who wants him back . We are very close to each other . The other day when i went into is Facebook profile he and is ineligibly ex girlfriend was talking about their moments that they had when they where together . One time My boyfriend ask me for sex and i told him i am not ready for that and he understand but the girl he was dating was saying : “w need to be together we both break our v virginity with each other” and then she wrote me a strongly email so i reply to that email with even stronger words but the problem is in is message he told her he loves her what should i do.
Hi, I have just recently started dating. My boyfriend and I have been together for about two months now. I feel like he is everything listed above, he texts me every night and is constantly telling me he loves me! I feel so happy with him, he knows just what to say to make me smile! But, a few days ago he left on vacation and has stopped returning my texts… he says he just really busy with his family. Should I be concerned that he is starting to lose interest or is it just vacation hustle? Also should I keep texting him or wait until he’s ready to text me? Please help, I don’t want to seem needy and desperate but, I want my boyfriend back!
Hi Kay,
Relax and be patient, everything will be OK. They guy is just on a holiday, there is nothing you wrote that indicates your relationship is threatened.
H
Hi Kenzie,
There are several things you can do however I will mention 1 most powerful thing
1. Although this can be very difficult – Give him the freedom to leave or stay with you. Let him know that you love him and would would like a relationship with him however he is free to stay or go you will not prevent him.
H
HI Sammi,
Your boyfriend seems as though he has major mood swings and may even have a deeper issues. You might want to suggest that he sees a counselor.
If things are like this when you only see each other briefly what would it be when you move in together? I would suggest that you avoid moving in together until the issues are ironed out and the relationship is settled.
In other words give it time
H
Hi ekta
check this article
http://www.wikihow.com/Tell-if-Your-Boyfriend/Girlfriend-Is-Cheating
H
Hi Hailee,
Yes you should be concerned if you are in an exclusive and steady relationship. Have you asked you boyfriend about these things? Give him a chance to explain himself and be clear to him that you do not feel comfortable about it.
H
Hi nina,
If I were you I will simply step back and give him space. Sometimes men need some space and if they are pulling away do not chase him. Release him. If he is serious he will return, but when he does don’t make it too easy for him.
H
Hi
I am with my boyfriend for more than a year and when we started we are so sweet & cannot last a day without seeing each other. There comes a problem to us saying to me that his mother wanted to arrange him to his cousin 9they are muslim & im christian)but i am willing to give up everything on me if he will just love & fight me truly. when he went home he talked to his mom but she doesnt want anyone for her son only that cousin. he decided & call me that what to do bcoz its his destiny, meaning he choosed them & leave me with a broken heart. when he returned back here we were ok again & seems like nothing happen but he is always saying that things are complicated. apart from he was addicted on the net talking to ladies, and i came to know that when i was away from leave he let someone to come to his flat, a very strong evidence ive got, i confronted him but he never admits & said that his name was just used…i know he did it! but then after all i forgive him & things are back to normal..but now whats happening is he is abusing if im ok, he will just take me for granted knowing that il gonna be ok anyways…we always argue and seems like i have no ryt to get upset as he will never make up to me….now we are in bad situation,we argued & i was so upset of him of not making me feel to be ok and he just left me with angry feelings but the next still i am the one who called him to apologize & to make things ok again..this is the usual situation now…..he is so hard to me & just taking me for granted….what i have to do? does he loves me? as evendo he seldoms sya that he loves me i truly believed on that coz when we are together we are really spending time, i mean for a long time but in the end will end up with argument hhh…..pls advice
my boyfriend n I hav been seeing one another since July 4 n i’m at his house all the time n I don’t mind tht he goes n plays hand ball or to his brothers house but he told me wen we was in bed r together tht he loved me no didn’t respond cuz I wasn’t sure if meant it or not but he gets mad wen I hav to leave to get my son or go home for something cuz I might be fine for a few hrs visiting with my mom or jus doing some errands n then wen I get back to his house he is all happy to see me n wen I’m gone he days I txt or call him but wen I do he don’t respond to my txt but he will
answer the phone call he tells me tht he don’t like talking on the ;»phone but he never calls me or txt me n now he is talking bout moving in together he has introduced me to all his family no hav unreduced him to my family n now I jus wonder if this relationship is going 2 work out» o»»}r wat cuz I want to tell him tht I love him but
But i’m not sure wen I should tell him cuz i’m not sure if he well say it back but I love being with him n around him we go do things together n my son absolutely adores him n he adores my son n now he wants another kid n so do I but how can I tell if he is jus going to run out on me or if he is going to be there with me
Dear hilton
I’m 13 and my boyfriend is 14
We’ve already talked about what will happen in our future and he wanted marriage and he wants to get married soon. I told he and I should wate a little bit before marriage
We also agreed not to have sex before the ages of 18(me) and 19(him) so it’s legal
But we both really love each other just the problem is we only see each other for three weeks on vacation in nh
He lives in massachusetts and me in connecticut
Would you please answer me if we should? (get married) soon
Him and I both love each other and have been dating for a month.
But I did find ur sight useful and currently recommending it to others
Anyway hugs and kisses
Kelly
Hi Kelly,
I understand that you have strong feeling for each other but marriage is not only about how you feel. Do you or him have a job to sustain each other? You will need to pay bills, buy food/clothes and a host of other functional things.
Right now it best to focus on getting an education or career so that when the time comes you can handle the responsibility.
Also teen marriages have a very high rate of divorce so be patient and wait.
Hilton
Hi Lyiah,
If you are both serious about each other and want children why not get married. Marriage provide a stable environment for both you and children. However be sure that you can both handle the responsibility that comes with being married. Get some premarital counsel and go to marriage classes these help a great deal to prepare people for marriage
Hilton
Hi Jingle,
Seems as though both have different value system. Its important that you get some clarity about the marriage issue. If he is destined to marry his cousin then the relationship with you is doomed. There is no point trying to salvage something that will never be.
Hilton
Okaay so my boyfriend is the sweetest thin in the world and he treats me amazingly. He tells me he loves me all the time and how I’m on his mind 24/7 but he’s away for two weeks and I really miss him. I barely get to talk to him. What should I do so I don’t het upset about missing him so much?
Thanks h
Hi Alysa,
Two weeks is not a very long time in the grand scheme of things, so do the things you use to do before you had a boyfriend. Socialize with friends, get into games and hobbies or get more involved in studying, reading or researching a topic of your interest.
In other words get a life and do not make your BF your entire world. If your life revolves just around him, it is one of the ways to overwhelm him and kill the relationship
H
i dont know wether i love my bf or not , he loves me too much but doesnt take care of me , we’ve been together for almost 2 months and he never made me feel like he needs me until three days ago , i loved him too much when we first dated but when i realized that he didnt care about me that much i started losing my love for him .. so it’s like i loved him in the first 2 months n i think now i dont but he loves me now more than i do , i asked him so that we break up but he didnt want to ,he made his best to stay with me , i dont know wt to do i feel like i dont wanna lose him but in the same time im not so comfortable with him , what shall i do !?
my boyfriend does all of the above….till last night…see i have GAD and i worry constantly. Well last night i told him to be honest about one thing and that was about him looking at other women…he said he does but not in the way you think. He said he looks at their face and how they act well i started to cry because he told me he never did look at any other woman then he told me that and it just broke my heart. He says im his only woman but now i dont know…apparently he wants to be with me..but now i dont know if i can trust him..so i dont know what to do anymore. If anyone has any answers for me please email me
hi i have been datin a guy for a year now we havin broke up or had problems till a month before we made a year but we never broke up. i know he isnt cheating but i would really like to know if he loves me. he used to go out of his way to do things like call me before school early early in the morin and he would worry if i didnt tx him as soon as i got home and he had made plans of marrying me an that sort of thing and always called me every night and we would talk on the phone for hours every night. then he stopped makin future plans with me and and for a week he has only called me for a few mins a day he actually didnt even call me one night and when we would spen time together it would be quiet or weird to be around him and it seemed as if he didnt want me as much. he even told me on our anniversery he couldnt see our relationship going anywhere but as boyfriend/girl friend so i talk to him about breaking up an he begged me not to. after spending the past weekend together he was back to his old self an told me he was glad we were getting closer again and he could see us as more in the future but i dont understand how i should act towards this he starts collage as a freshman soon and im still in high school( seinor) but he wants to stay with me we havent had sexual relations or any of that an hes never tried to pressure me into it i just dont know what to think.
Well I have been having an issue with my bf for awhile. I hardly ever see him, because he works so much. When he isnt working he is busy with something else. Today was our 5 month mark, but on occasions he waits 2 or 3 hours for me just to get off work. He also never gets jealous and if i do something wrong he forgives me after a few days. He tells me he loves me and I love him. He doesnt really care about alot of people in his life, but I am one of those he truely cares for and opens up to. I just dont know what to do about him, he can be soo unemotional, and he says he misses me but never acts like it. What should I do?
Hi Kitty,
Seems as if you have a good thing going. He may not be talking your love language, he need to patiently train him how to respond to you the way you would love. Start by rewarding him every time he does something right
H
hayhay,
Unfortunately men tend to love in cycles. Sometimes they are very intense, then they draw back. When this happens don’t panic just gave him space and time – he will come back
H
Storm,
Men are very visual and tend to look at beautiful women. This is no reflection how how they feel about you – Every man does it even priests. We are conditioned that way.
H
Sarah,
This sounds a bit confusing. I think you need to give it time as you seems to be just depending on feelings. There is more to love than feelings
H
me and my boyfriend has 2mouth together is like we hve 2years the way he treath me he got all 12ways his the one cuz im in love with him his the one ……..:)
:I
so my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 7 months in our relationship I caught him talking to other females 3 imes I did cheat on him once wich isn’t right but each time he would talk to these females and tell them how sexy they are and that he was single I caught him every time he seems to be differant now but I have a gut feeling he is up to somthing once again and everytime I get this feeling I’m usually right. What should I do?
Hi Linds
Just to say that you really have to decide what your romantic borders are? Do you want an exclusive relationship? if you need security you may need to let your bf know that you cannot deal with uncertainty or find someone who would be able to give you that security?
H
I have a boyfriend I love him to death I would do anything for him. Well not everything but I love him. I don’t know if he would do anything for me though. He all most got into a fight with his older bother cause he called me a slaut. Which I ‘m not . He is really the firsst guy I have every dated. I love him cause he is all ways there for me. We were best friends for a year. Then he asked me out on my birthday I thought it was very sweet. But one thing I can’t tell is that he means every word he says to me. How ccan I tell? Please help me!
My boyfriend and I have been going out for 9 months. The first 3 months of our relationship was awesome. I thought it was too good to be true, he was perfect. He was sweet, great sense of humor and he showed interest in my life. Since we moved in together, things feel as though they are falling apart. His humor to me sometimes isnt very funny . He says im too serious, but i disagree. He doesnt show interest in my life and when im upset , he doesnt care to ask, even if im crying. He makes plans without me ( like wanting to go to a college party which i dont see the point unless yoyr single or its your stag party) i love him very much but i dont want to believe that he feels the same way if he doesnt. Ive tried talking to him and he says im being paranoid and that he thinks our relationship is perfect when i dont think it is anymore. Also, we rarely have sex, once a month if im lucky. I also brought this to his attention and he says because hes tired from working alot. I dont feel like thats a good excuse. However, with all that said, he calls me babe all the time and says im beautiful sometimes, hugs and kisses me before work every morning and thanks me for cooking supper, everytime. Is he still into me?
Hi Mary,
I am not sure where you want to take the relationship? However sometimes when me get all what they want e.g. totall access to you, they tend to lose their sense of challenge and curiosity.
I would recommend that you bit more independant and start going out (with your friends) and doing things of interest to you. That way you do not overwhelm him with your needs. Give him some space and time to miss you and recognise that you are important to him.
H
Hi Michelle,
You can tell if someone means what they say if they back up their words with actions and attitude.
H
Me and my boyfriend have been going out since 09,but the problem is,he has this best friend.He always hangs out with her,they send each other pictures..But,he kisses me and tells me that he loves me and im just confused…and a little jelous.Please help me..
confused and jelous.
Hi Michelle
My Boyfriend dues half of what you said or more; however, how do you know that he really, truly, with all his heart, loves you. Like I know some guys how say it and don’t mean it but what makes the guys how say it to you and really mean it from their heart. My boyfriend tells me most of the time he loves me after I say it he have only twice he loves me before I say I love him. I don’t know if that matters but to me it feels like is should not be like that. I could be wrong like most of the time but this time I don’t think this time I am.
Hi Confused and Jealous,
Do you feel that this friend is a threat to your relationship? Seems to me that you think he should be spending more time with you and sending you pictures – and you are right. Have you spoken to him about how you feel about this? Start by doing so.
Hilton
Hi Confused and Jealous,
Do you feel that this friend is a threat to you relationship? Seems to me that you think he should be spending more time with you and sending you pictures – and you are right. Have you spoken to him about how you feel about this? Start by doing so.
Hilton
Hi, Hilton.
Me and bf have been together for 4 months. They have been good, but there was a time when he use to tell me I was his everything and he never wants anyone else just me, we had plans for our future. But now all he ever says is how he is gonna date all these other girls. And it hurts, because I can’t even mention other guys name without him getting mad. I don’t know what to do, he use to make me feel so special and wanted now I just feel lke just other one of his girls </3. Plz help me.
hi i been dating my boyfriend for 2 months and we were good until school started when i would put in effort for a date he would say i cant im doing my hwk saying his education is my important i txt him all the time and he is the one who wanted to go out with me i confronted him he said he was really busy and i am too i havent seen him in 1 month i love him and dont want break it up what should i do i know his education is important but i want to see him once every two weeks and when i told him tht he said it was hard to do
Hello, i been with my bf for about 6months now, he works a lot is always busy, but im with him all the time, when he can he always plan a tiny vacation, but always inviting friends in our vacations and maybe only one day is for the both of us, I dont drink alcohol so when we go out with a group of friends he always ask them if they want something to drink before he ask me, he complements girls in front of me, when he wake up, he kiss me ones in a while, he never had said i love you but i never had said it either, we dont fight, but he is not affectionate, i’m wasting my time ? I love him im just scared that im going to say I LOVE YOU and he wont say it back.
Andrea
Hye..so me and my boyfriend has been together since 11 April last year…he was just like all of the things stated above..but few months ago his been changing to another person..it’s like the guy I fell in love with is gone..he used to ask for my opinion but nowdays he dosent….he used to call me beautiful all the time…I never get bored of that…but now his been changing…and I miss the old him! I want my dream guy again…but his a total different person now…my friends advised me to break up with him…all of them…they used to respect me and tell me that I’m lucky to get a guy like him…now they just hate him…it’s saddening…I’m confused and I don’t know what to do…oh and his been changing since his cousin brother stayed with him which is on may 2012…help me I need advise! His getting worse and I can’t let go off him! I love him soo much! :’(
Hi Kavina,
The best approach is to step back and give hime some space. You do not have to end the relationship, basically don’t give more than you are getting from the relationship. Let him get some time and space to miss you and what you have to offer too
Hilton
Hi Andrea,
Your bf seems to be a bit unaware of how you feel and maybe he needs to become more informed on romantic and relationship skills.
In your case I would suggest that you shouldn’t be afraid to express your feelings as you should love him unconditionally – without strings attached – this may help him to start to show more of his vulnerable, romantic and affectionate side.
It may be that he has never learnt how to do this.
Hilton
Nicole,
As hard as this may seems it is best to support him in his studies and not push so hard. Pull back and wait for him to come to you again
Hilton
Hi Alexia,
First you need to be clear about your principles. If you do not want to be like one of the other girls – DO NOT ACCEPT IT.
Be prepared to leave the relationship if it comes to. If you don’t make your position clear he will continue treat you like rubbish and he will eventually dump you. Even if he leaves because of your standard he will still have respect for you
Hilton
hello, I have a boyfriend and he likes to hold my hand and touch my legs or my butt.The problem is people are telling him that I’m cheating on him or they tell me that he is cheating on me. Well i think they are rumors but I don’t know and i feel like im losing him now to someone else……PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME
i appreciate the advice im trying my hardest to stay strong it is really hard i feel sad alot of times when im busy or not any ideas to get rid the sadness is tht normal?
Fonera
hye,,, I have a boyfriend, n i do love him so much , past few days, his calls and msgs have reduced , and v did discuss about it , and he says , i m happy with you, i got no prb with that. but m not sure y i feel upset,i wish to be closer to him … and i wish he would be like before. is there any way to capture his attention again ? should i give him sum space ? or should i wait till he texts me or call me ? what am i to do ?
I love him so much but i don’t really know he love too becuse when we Fait he use a bad word and every time he use to tell me that he is happy when he is brokup with me but i can’t becuose i love him more than anything plzzzzzz guys help me what i have to do?
Well, I have a boyfriend. We have been together for two years, long time , huh? I love him deeply. There is a small problem though, he has been texting other girls and saying we aren’t dating. I only know he’s done that twice. I don’t know if he has done it more than that. I hope not. He tells me he loves me with all of his heart. He has cheated on me in the past and has apologized about it and said he would never do it again but he still does. How am I supposed to know if he actually loves me when he tells me he loves me one second but another second someone’s tellig me he is cheating. I’m only 12 and we have spoken about having a future together but how can we if I don’t know if he is cheating or not. Please someone give me some advise. I love him so much and I don’t wanna lose him!
My man does all the things listed on the list. He even asked me to marry him. I still find myself asking myself does he really truly loves me like he say he do.
well found out my boyfriend did have his phone never txted me for 3 weeks so sadly broke up with him in ignoring me did i make the right decision?
Hi Kiwi,
Is there any valid reason to doubt that he does?
H
Hi Kiwi,
Is there any valid reason to doubt that he does? Has he done something that makes you believe that he doesn’t?
H
Hi Kiwi,
Has he done something that makes you believe that he is not genuine about his declaration of love?
H
Kayley,
I understand that you have deep feelings however I would break the relationship off as he has proved that he cannot be trusted. By the way 12 is too young to be committing to a relationship.
H
Kayley,
I understand that you have deep feelings however I would break the relationship off as he has proved that he cannot be trusted. By the way 12 is too young to be committing to a relationship, you do need to focus on building a foundation for life ahead e.g school and career.
H
Han you sound desperate. Desperation tend to make people vulnerable to abuse. You need to start managing your emotions as this would make you more attractive and less needy
H
Han
You sound desperate. Desperation tends to make people vulnerable to abuse. In fact you can be seen as needy and clingy, which drives people away/ You need to start managing your emotions as this would make you more attractive and less needy
H
Loshny,
While you should let him know how you feel, also always let him know that he is free to go at any time. You may also want to give him space and not obsess about the lack of calls and text.
This will send the impression that you are not clingy or needy.
H
Loshny,
While you should let him know how you feel, also always let him know that he is free to go at any time. You may also want to give him space and not obsess about the lack of calls and text.
This will send the impression that you are not clingy or needy. It may not be easy how it sure does help to improve respect for you.
H
Hi Nichole,
Sadness is a natural emotion when we lose someone or something. However if you are sad for long periods of time then you may want to see a professional about that. You may want to also take up some hobby that you are interested in and recreation that you like.
Hilton
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work.
Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want.
H
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work. Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want.
H
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work. Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want.
H
Ps: Remember that you can never control what other people think and believe, but you can behave in a way that has integrity
Hi Lyn,
Sounds as if you have some trust issue going on in your relationship. You both need to discuss if someone is deliberately trying to sabotage the relationship and what you can do to combat that. One thing is to try and identify who the culprit is and disassociate yourself with him or her.
Do reaffirm that you are committed and would like to do everything to make it work. Never beg or plead. Always give the person the option to leave even when this is not what you really want. Remember that you can never control what other people think and believe, but you can behave in a way that has integrity
H
Hi Nicole,
I cannot tell you what is wrong or right, however this move sent a clear signal to him about what you will not tolerate. If he chooses to get back with you he will be very clear about that issue. Be open to negotiation however maintain high principles at all time
H
so last year my BFF was going out with this guy named colby, and i was datinganother guy and these 2 fought. colby one and jordan lost and the 1st time i seen colby i was like “damn that boy is fine” but i couldnt say anything cause brianna was dating him. well now as of a week ago me and colby started dating, hes so nice and theres so many people that look at me like im on drugs cause im dating him. but hes amazing! weve talked about sex and he aint gonna pressure me, but most of my exes would have. im so happy and so is he but i think i ruined a freindshipnwith brianna…..
HI Tori
Some people say that you should not date your friend’s ex for this very reason. It can get a bit messy.
H
Hello, I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now and the whole time we have been together i have been in school and working full time and he has been just going to school and living off student loans so majority of the time I have payed for everything for us like food and movies, ect and he would pay when he could only sometimes though. But my boyfriend just graduated and is not working because he still has to take his final exam to be able to get his degree. So While i am at school and work all day with the money he does have he spends going golfing and hanging out with his friends. And I still pay for food and all the activities we do together because he says he has no money. Lately i have been getting really irritated because my boyfriend never does anything cute for me he hardly texts me through the day says we don’t need to talk every 5 seconds and he is busy doing things. I feel like i am not appreciated for what i do for him since i love him i go buy him new clothes to surprise him ect. I feel as though he does not love me or want to really be with me but im really the first girl friend he has ever had. Every time i ask him if he really wants to be with me or if we have a future together he tells if he didn’t see any of that in the future he wouldn’t even be wasting his time with me which i mean makes sense but sometimes he can be cute but he just doesn’t show me ever that he loves me. And he says its because that’s not how he is he was raised by just his dad and has no family near where we live so he says he is just not an affectionate person. I am so confused on if he really loves me and wants to be with me because i feel as though he does nothing on your list above but when i ask him it seems like he does. Please help me try to understand if he really wants to be with me or not?
I keeP trying to leave a comment but I’m not sure if it’s letting me it showed up after I submitted it but now it’s gone?
im having trouble i broke up with my boyfriend sadly because he has been ignoring my txt and calls but now im sad and miss him i know i should move i want to talk to him my friends gave me advice to go see him at qt and talk to him but he know nothing about it i just want to talk to him but i think i might get hurt worse
ive been going with my boyfriend for 2 half yrs, i trust him 100% but lately he always going out and getting drunk with his friends. and when i ask him to see me he makes crap excuses and barley ever tells me he loves me anymore, we argue all the time about stupid stuff like not seeing each other, like he would never compliment me or nhn. i dont wanna loose him. ive tried talking to him about it and he just doesnt seem to care, when i ask him to do something he like no ive no money but yet when his friends ask him he can efford to go out and spend money on alochol. what shall i do??
I have been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. I love him so much. He has a form of autism that he has to take medicine for. Sometimes, this medicine makes him a little depressed and sometimes it makes him more hyper than usual. The other day, I was at his house and he seemed very upset. He was texting this other girl I know who is very outgoing and beautiful. He then accused me of being boring. I knew he was joking, but it still hurt. Lately, whenever we’re texting at before bed, I tell him I love him and he says, “You too
” But, whenever we’re talking and I say something he finds cute, he says he loves me. I just feel like he is using me to cheer himself up and taking me for granted. But, he still hung out with me when I was sick yesterday. He even pulled me onto him and kissed me while I was sleeping. Oh, and he also introduces me to his friends and family like I am a celebrity. I’m worried he thinks I’m boring. Do you think his medicine is the only reason for his mood swings?
MY OWN DOES ALL OF THE ABOVE MENTIONED. I THINK HE REALLY LOVES ME BUT HE ASKED ME TO MEET HER MUM BUT AM AFRAID COX HER MUM IS ALWAYS HARSH ON SOMEBODY. TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO. PLS.
i am a bit confused here, i have not physically cheated on my guy, or i dont know how to explain it, had one guy on fb, i spoke to him about my guy told him How much I love my guy, I had no wrong intentions at all, just that this guy kept on asking me to show him my boobs etc, I said no but I still continued chatting with him about other general things, but he constantly kept on asking me to show my stuff on webcam, and then I got fedup and deleted him, but after a few months, my guy read our chats,.he was almost going to dump me, but I told him I dint cheat on him or exposed myself in anyway, now what my problem is, he just recently added this girl on fb, and he chats with her on a regular basis, he was trying to explain something to here where she replied saying you explain so well, im sure you will be a great father some day, and he goes like oh I hope your not taking me that way cuz those are not my intentions, and then she said she had to go sleep and all that see u later alligator and he goes like in a while cockadile lol….oh I mean crocodile…..he does all the above things you have mentioned and we are getting married soon, am I right buy feeling that we both don’t feel we are enough for each other?
Hi Jenna,
Interesting situation. Ususally when people are looking to get married they have “eyes” only for theie fiance.
What seems to be happening in your case is that you both seem open to the advances of other people. Maybe you are not meeting all the major emotional needs of each other. You might want to discuss this and commit to doing that.
Hilton
Hi Jessica,
Just to say that you seem to be carrying the relationship. Although you love him to bits you need to let him make some effort in the relationship. To do this back off a little. If he doesn’t call you, don’t call him. Don’t take him out and pay, let him ask you out and pay. If he doesn’t take you out go out by yourself or with your friends.
Hard to do but the best way to get your power
Hilot
Dancing girl
Its still early days in your relationsship and it would be hard to tell until you spend enough time getting to know each other more. Give it some more time (6 or more months) before you begin to make sweeping judgements
Hilton
Nichole
If you want to talk to him you can, it doesn’t mean you have to rush back into a full relationship immediately
Hilton
Hi
He is making choices that no only damage his health but will have serious knock on effect on you. You need to decided if you can live with someone who might become an addict and would care more for his addiction than you
Hilton
I am not sure what is happening. I have seen some of your comments and have replied, however because of my schedule it make time a couple of days before I respond
Hope that helps
Hilton
I am dating a guy he don’t want anyone to know that we dating what to i do and how do i know that he love me
i have a boy friend and i don’t want anyone to know that we are dating ??
what do i doing
My boyfriend Jesse and I have been together for almost four years now and he does not do ANY of this stuff anymore. We have a daughter (10 months) and it just seems like he doesn’t love me anymore. He has already admit that he is no longer in love with me. I still do everything I can to get him to be in love with me but he is mean and it upsets me untill i can’t take it anymore. I explode! Than he ends up calling me names and talking about leaving. We don’t fight infront of my daughter, but I just feel like he doesn’t love me anymore because he just doesng show it anymore. He’s not the same Jesse I used to have.
My boyfriend and I have been knowing each other for 3years now. We have broken up twice. This is our 3rd time getting back together. Before we got back together we started talking as friends for 4 months, then before you know it we was back together. Our relationship is great now. We have been together for 7 months now and still counting. But the thing is how do I know he loves me or scared to tell me he loves me? He has told me that he have had his heart broken twice. And I have been by his side since day one. I haven’t giving him any reason to not trust me. We both trust each other, we spend a lot of time with each other, majority of his family know me and like me, we have that we are in a relationship together on facebook, we have pictures of us kissing and holding each other on there to, and we are not having sex. My friend was asking him about a ring for me and he states that hes the man with the plan. And when he talks about the future sometimes he puts me in his future without me eveb saying something about it. I just wanna know why is he scared to love me because i could never hurt him without hurting myself. If you ask him if hes in love with me he will say no, but he care about me a lot. Plaease answer this for me. Thank you.
Hi Brienna,
Given all that you said it seems to me that your boyfriend is clearly into you. Maybe him saying “I Love you” is like him giving the final and total sign of committing (kind of like saying “I Do”). He m,ay not be ready for it just yet.
Be patient
H
Hi Destiny,
Its natural sometimes to lose feelings when you are in long term relationship, but it does not meant that all is lost. Its important not to over react as this will only make things worst. Sometimes giving him some space and concentrating on building up your self e.g. doing something educational, finding a hobby, going with your friends and even volunteering. These will help you to boost your confidence and make you more attractive again.
H
Hi Realynn,
Usually when someone behaves like this it can be that they are already in another relationship or they are ashamed of being with you. If that is the case you will need to decide if you want to be a secret lover or not
H
I got out of along term relationship I’m still in love with my ex. I took time out for me I met this guy almost a yr later I really like him and I know he loves me we have been haven some trust issues and every time he lies to me or something I have flash back about my ex I’m still trying to get over him the new one makes me happy for the most part and I want things to work he has lack of communication so it makes things harder and honestly in the back of my mind I want me ex back wat should I do.
hi, i have been with my boyfriend for 7 years since we were in high school and he cheated on me twice at the start. a year in there was love letters and pretty cards and taking me out to meet his friends and family that was great! but he never seemed to want to be around my friends and i slowly drifted from them, with him only wanting to be around me. but another 2 years in and he decides to go to uni, when he was in uni i was in college full time then travelling up to meet him, during my time away from him, i learned he got close to another lady and was trying to be her best friend and i had found alot of messages from him talking to her and comforting her and one sexual message i had found shortly after that. i have loved this man for 7years and cannot see myself with anyone else and have been completely faithful to him.
but thats another story i suspect that he doesnt believe i have never had the urge to cheat in the 7years, i have given him my home with my mother since day one he could stay when ever he wanted but he chooses to stay all the time and i very rarely go to his house.
since he came back from uni and since i went mad at him for going behind my back he has been very cold and distant towards me focusing on (work) for 14hours a day then spending altogether about 4hours with me 7 days a week for 3 years with his own business working at my house.
the only time i get affection is when i ask for it or if he feels guilty. he also has anger control issues over silly small things or it could be a computer freezing then if i say anything at all i get the blame all the time.
he tells me im pretty around 3 times a week but i dont feel it anymore as i have lost my trust for him and am very paranoid and tense sometimes around him. he would give me about £30 every 2 weeks for items for myself from the money he was making, and this went on for a year and a half. but i dont believe that money can buy love. i also never hear about his fears or the emotional side of him. please tell me if this guy might be worth it i love him so much it kills me thinking about it. thank you!
ps. we are currently broke up for the past 4months as i dont know what to feel about him any-more and am very confused about my relationship without other opinion
before i met him, he always text me call me or meet me every time. even when his out with his friend he will tell me everything.. but since he had a new job, he keep avoiding me. he still text me, or even call me but we both actually didn’t meet much because his job or he don’t love me anymore.. he less talk or share with, every time i force him to tell me he said that i don’t want to hurt your feeling.. i do care about you, i’m just busy and i still planning to take care about you.. what i feel now is every guys can say that but is it true care about or just say it to make me happy.. i’m so confuse..
iv had a boyfriend for about 2 weeks and i understand he is shy but he never rilly talks to me to day he did but all he sed u look different with out eye liner whut dose that mean?
Okay so i’ve been dating my current boyfriend for almost 2 1/2 years and he told me he loves me. We have been engaged but then we broke it off during the summer because we didn’t think we belonged together. But early this august we got offically back together and we talk all the time but im afraid that he is cheating because during the summer he started talking to another girl (we didn’t offically break up during the summer) and he had told me he really started to like her because we tell each other EVERYTHING but he never lets me see his phone. He does all he can for me. He calls into work if i wanna see him, he walks me home from work at night when he lives like 20 miles away, he will ride his bike during the summer all the way to my house and back in one day ( which by the way is REALLY REALLY far) he buys me mins for my phone and the end of this month i’m moving in with him because im pregnant. Does he love me or do you think he just wants to stick around because im pregnant while he is messing around with some other chick?
I had a boyfriend who did all of the above…and he was cheating on me. All that stuff is really easy to fake.
I have been with my boyfriend for awhile now and im madly inlove with him, he does like quite a few about what you say it is if he cares but sometimes i feel like he doesnt how do i make myself understand he does. ive been hurt so many times and i feel like something is going to happen but i feel like if i keep this up that it could ruin us me not trusting him and thinking he really cares…. help me please
Hi kitty,
You may be emotionally attached to your ex, however I suggest you decide what is best for you based on your values and not your feelings
Hilton
Hi Mary,
I realize that this issue may be bugging you but I think the best thing right now is to give yourself a break and focus on going somewhere with your life. Start building your network of friends and family; start going out having fun; start a business or project; start volunteering and helping people.
You will begin to feel better about yourself and you will also become more attractive.
Hiltom
Hannay.
Men do go through cycles of love and withdrawal, the best thing to do at this point is to give him space and stop chasing him.
H
Victoria,
Why don’t you ask him what he means?
H
Shea
It sounds as if he is cares for you.
Why don’t you be honest with him and let him know that you feel vulnerable with that other person lurking in th background. Tell what would make you feel reassured and secure. This may help to bring clarity and comfort. be sure to include how much you appreciate the things he is doing
H
Nani
Yep con men know how to fake the genuine thing. However time will tell, so also give your relationship time to mature
H
Morgan,
You sound as if you have self esteem and confidence issues. You need to increase your self esteem and begin to show that you believe in your self. Also do not be afraid to assert yourself about how you feel and what you do not like. People will treat you the way you allow them to
H
My boyfriend loves me very much
He does EVERY one of those on the list plus more
I’m an expert on relationships, and to those out there who are scared that your partner is cheating, all you gotta do is grow some balls and ask them, if they are, then dump their sorry ass!
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years. We have broken up a few times. This last time seems to be better he now tells me he loves me. But this past weekend we went out with my girlfriend and he asked her to dance several times the last time she turned him down he got angry grabed her hip and said fuck off to her……. What dose this mean ??? Is he into her wants her?? Not happy with me?? Help please.
Roxanne
Does he have anger issues or was he a bit embarrassed> Did he dance only with your friend and not with you. If he did then that is very suspect?
Not sure why he would be wanting to dance with your friend several time except he was drunk. That is not ethical except he was trying to make you jealous
H
my bf is an awsm prsn…bt he forces me 2 kiss him…..he noes dat he can go no further….i luv him a lot………bt sum ppl tll me me dat hes just using me….my heart is not ready 2 belive it….n even he says dat all dose things oders r sayin….is he really usin me or not???? plzz help!
i m in a relationship about 6 years . i love him a lot but he cheated on me 2 times and always told me lie. he showed that he loved me but he cannot do anything to me. when i left him . He was emotionally break me and i m return what will b i do
My bfs name is Jon, he’s 15, and he lives in North Carolina,USA.
I’m Alli, 13, and I live in New York City.
We met on a chat room, and we decided to video chat like, 5 minutes into our conversation.
He’s incredibly cute and funny, and he seems to be intelligent (Both of us are homeschooled).
I always tell him I feel like I don’t deserve him. I also tell him that he deserves someone prettier than me.
When I do, he says “Theres no one better than you.” or he puts hearts (<3) and says "Shut up or I'll come up there and kiss you to death."
It seems like he loves me, and he tells me he does.
I just really don't know WHY he loves me.
Can you tell me how I can get it out of him?
Thanks
My boy friend is all that matters to me I find it okay for him to be friends with other girls but them calling him every day is to far I trust him but I just can’t trust the people he hangs out with I can’t bear to lose him I love him his smile wipes away the anger his laugh wipes away the pain the way he says I love you makes me get up everyday
Hi Alli
Maybe you need to focus on becoming more confident and accepting of you value and worth. Accept the fact the you have what it takes, however I feel that at your age you do need to avoid becoming involved and let it wait until you are much more mature and grown up
Hilton
Hi Ana
If trust us a deal breaker to you do not continue a relationship where you cannot trust the other person
hi,
um im nly in grade 6 and all my freinds think my boyfreind is madly in love with me! i really like him and may ven love him too but now theres thi other girl who is smarter and plays sports and he told me he hates her but im scared he might start to like her but i think im just over exsagarating what can i say or do to give her the hint to back off!
any advice will be highly apprecated
Hi Livvy
Sometime we worry about things that may not even happen. Worry will only cause you to be a miserable person which may drive him away to someone else who is cool and confident.
Hilton
..iv bn wit ma man fo 4 mnths now nd i feel duz luv mi but b/c of ma ‘bi-polar’ (wen i git scared nd unsure..i chng ma #…ive dun this ALOT..but we always end up sum how bak tugthr…but we hvnt argued (he says we have ‘misundrstndng’) but its ALWAYS about tha same thing…taking 30seconds out his day ta acknowledge mi (via txt or wutevr) ..his parents r both pastors nd he is tha oldest son nd he’s trying ta git his life tugthr (alcoholic) nd plus he has his music (producer)…bsds chior practice/church functions/family events etc etx…he duz tha best he can nd im undrstndng..he ALWAYS makes mi feel beautiful nd like tha only gurl n tha wrld wen he duz txt/call/spnd time w/mi (he lives on tha other side of tha island nd niether of us have a car tho he duz have access ta his family’s cars)…so bottom line is…is he feeling mi oram i a matter of convience??? please lmk…
..srry i ment ta say tht n tha 4 mnths we’ve bn tugthr we dnt argue…we have misundrstndng…he listens ta evrithing i tell him (i share stuff wit him tht i only tell God) …but its jus i feel so neglected wen he dsnt make an effort …like he’s not thinking of mi…nd it hurts….or am i being slfsh (on going arguement)
Well, ive been dating my boyfriend for about 1year and 7months now.. but theres a problem with all that, he says he “loves me” but still yet when im not with him or when i am he always on his phone and talking to other females and trying to get with them.. i dont know what to do? the females ask him “do you go a girlfriend” he denys it when they know he does.. he trys to go out with other females and at the same time to stay with me… he says he wants to be with me but i dont think he would change cause this has happen recently.. he talks to other girls in a different way in facebook and texts messages.. i ask him do you talk to girls in a different way that your not souppose to he denys it.. he tells me that he will change and everything but i dont know what to believe from him no more. we had our break and he said that he wanted me back and so i took him back and now well i dont know he has been acting the way he was before.. i need help on what i need to do.. another thing that is keeping me from being with him is that were having twins on the way ;/ … please help on what i can do to save this relationship…
another thing is that he doesnt know how to show respect torwards me family and his always with his addittude .. i give him everything and still yet i dont think his happy with it ..
i need advise
I m engaged. Initially i felt he is interested in me. but now-a-days he is avoiding me with no reason. if i ask him to spend some time with me, he says he cant be close to me. he keeps on hurting me. he texts some other girls. but he hides it from me. i expect my life partner to be close to me. i feel secure with him if he is close and share some personal things. he doesnt spend time with me. he calls me, bt speaks with me not for more than 2 to 3 minutes. Please tell me what to do….. plz
my boyfriend never cl me or msg me. And every time he use to say he was buzy and he will say he dont have balance to call me or msg me. Is he really busy he his life or he dont love.
Okay, my bf and I have been together for several months now and he does all the things stated above, but I still kinda question it. He tells me he loves me and everything at least 5 times a day. And he tells me that the reason he tells me so often is because he doesn’t want to loose me and if he does he wants me to know that he will always love me. I of course think this is really sweet and all, but I still kinda wonder…”Is he just saying this or does he truly love me?” We hangout as often as possible and talk every night. He loves to mess with me in front of his friends and brag about me as much as possible which to me is of course really cute. I love him a lot, but I often find myself doubting the idea that I do. Is it me who is backing out I this relationship? Or is it just because I’m worried he doesn’t feel the same way? Please help! This has been bugging me for quite sometime now and I’m starting to get a little worried.
Hi,
My friend has a boyfriend since Jan 2012. He wants to get married to her. And they have also introduced each other to their families..
But Many a times hes mentioned to her that he keeps checking her Girl friends Pics on social websites.. And that shes looks good or she looks bad.. He keeps commenting on them.. What she fail to understand is Y does he needs to check some other girls pics? When she confronts him about this he says she dosent trust him and hence he dosent want to give her any explanation on the same..
She really dosent know what to do? And shes really worried does he really love her? Or is she really wrong in thinking? Should she go ahead with him or move on in her life?
Pl help..
Regards,
Shwera
So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 months now. He’s really great and I’m very happy with him. But we do have our issues. And a lot of the time it’s me becoming upset with him for things such as being rude about the way I drive or being kinda flirty with a girl who he used to like orrr not showing me enough attention. When I talk to him about it he explains himself and I end up feeling a lot better and the issues we’ve discussed have never really resurfaced. But I’m worried because I will bring up these little things when they upset me and when I do sometimes he says that he doesn’t feel like he can be who I want him to be. Like that I’m finding so many things wrong that he feels like maybe I need someone different. I don’t want to chase him away or make him feel like he’s not someone I want to be with. But I want to be able to talk about my feelings without him feeling inadequate or like I demand too much. What should I do?
Frgvn,
I have problems understanding what you have written. You may want to wrote in accepted english spellings
H
Hi Sh,
I you were really important to him, he would make the effort
H
Yinara,
First be honest with yourself and decide if you can live with the uncertainty and insecurity that this relationship creates. If you can’t then it is best to let him go regardless to how much you feel for him. It will not get better it will only get worst unless you are very firm about what you will tolerate
H
Macy,
If his actions are congruent with the words then you have a great man. However if you are having some sort of negative hunch then it may be best to investigate it.
H
I’ve been with my significant other for 3 years now. In the beginning I knew he wasn’t head over heals in love with me but I wasn’t him either. I gave birth to his daughter in June of 2012 and after that he seemed different..for the better! But sometimes I can’t help but wonder his true feelings on me.. He’s very borderline. He snaps quickly and can literally be ok with me then the next hes yelling at me because I can’t find the car keys.. I don’t know if its me or a personality thing.. Sometimes he will buy me flowers or a movie. That’s on occasion. Most of the time I feel he only does nice things to get something in return. And not to mention he always gets upset when I don’t sleep with him. He’s constantly yammering about other women at his work saying hateful things about them then turns around and has the same girl in his phone saved as a DUDES name. I’d like to believe he does love me and obviously I can’t stress enough on a comment to a love website. Im just tired of hurting and wondering if hes with me because he really does love me or if hes just tolerating me and keeping me around as a sex object. Please help
my boyfriend and i love eachother alot but when were in school he pays 50% attention to me. we talk 24/7 though and he tells me he loves me. then i hug him at school hes happy.
I’ve almost been dating my boyfriend for a year now.
I love him so much more than anything in this universe but I have the feeling he doesn’t. No actually I’m positive he doesn’t, he often tells me he can’t love me as much as I love him; he also told me he can’t give me as much as attention as I give him attention.
It angers me ’cause I don’t want to look weak so we often end in fights where I pretend that I don’t care about him anymore.
Is he mistaking love for friendship?
Hi – - -
I’ve been dating a man since January 7, 2012. I really love him a ton, and have stuck by his side during this whole time. He’s been out of work since I’ve known him, and I’ve tried to support him (looking for work for him, starting a webpage for a business venture he came up with and pay for it, make him dinner, take him out and pay, ask him to spend time with me etc) and mid-October I asked him to move in with me and offered a pretty good deal on rent (cheaper than where he is now) and he didnt give me an answer, he just kinda himmed/hawed about moving twice (Im due to move in June 2013). He didnt offer up any ideas like, well hey, why dont we move in together in January 2013 and skip the moving twice thing or… So, I didnt ask again.
He skipped out on something really important to me recently, and kinda seemed to distance himself; so I confronted him one evening mid-November and asked him point blank where he thought our relationship was at and where it was headed. He couldnt answer my question, his reply was, “Im shocked your asking, I didnt know there was an “issue” etc” and I said, there isnt, I just want to know what your thoughts are, and explained. After this conversation (which was about Nov 10) I figured the towel was pretty much thrown in, and he wasnt interested. He didnt invite me to an Tgiving dinner (I invited him to a brunch and he attended) and ditched me later that evening, as well as another night. I was hurt, and felt very lonely.
During this time (Nov), I got to talking with someone in an online class I take and ended up exchanging personal email, phone numbers and photos of goofy nature at first. I even confided in a friend of mine at the time that I was very frustrated with where I thought my current relationship was going – no where, and wondered if this person I met in my online class who lives across the US, could be “the one” since it didnt seem like my current BF, that I’ve dedicated almost a year too, wanted to be “the one”.
This past Saturday night my BF was over and saw a TM come through my phone from the person in SC, and he proceeded to read each and everyone one of our correspondences, and any other correspondence I had on my phone. The very next afternoon, he hacked my facebook account and saw my conversation with my girlfriend about this person (mentioned above). I saw my facebook had been hacked and found out from the IP who it was, it was him. I figured, okay… That night I didnt want to see him when he asked to come to my place, I told him no that I had a girlfriend of mine coming over, which was true. In anycase, she didnt show up, so I ended up relaxing, talking on the phone with my mom for a few hours and apparently he had sat in driveway waiting to see who showed up, and peeked in my windows and observed me talking on the phone. I didnt know this, but I ended up calling him as I went to bed that night, talking about my friend and I enjoying a glass of wine (to keep with the “story”) and invited him to come over if he wanted to snuggle.
Yesterday afternoon I noticed my facebook account was hacked into again by him, and this time I posted on FB the IP address and said, Hmmmm…I got hacked by IP XX.XXX.XXX and figured it would let him know I knew and that he should come clean. He did that night. He wrote me a letter about a “vision” he had about me being with another man, and told me about all the conversations he read etc., between me and this man in SC. I told him yep, I’d been talking with this man and explained why – that he couldnt tell me where we were headed in our relationship and I felt alone, felt like he hasnt been a boyfriend to me, and I want to move forward in a relationship etc.
I feel bad I’ve hurt his feelings, but I also feel good about having the power to tell him that I want to move forward and not sit around waiting for him to make up his mind. He left, saying he didnt want to break up – - I asked if he was breaking it off, and he just kept walking. I really would like him to step up to the plate and move in, and move forward with me, well, I really WANTED that, and now I dont know because he violated my privacy and has done some really wierd things. Granted I did lie to him, and I did start wondering about another man – -however, I didnt get “sexual” by any means with this man, we discussed class stuff and just goofed off. NO, I didnt tell this other person I was seeing someone… Ugh. Any advice?
Addition:
I probably should add that the relationship has been pretty much one-sided e.g. I feel like I do most everything (initiate sex, initiate dates, make him dinners, take him out, try to make him feel special, sending him job ideas etc) and I have talked with him about how I feel at least two-three times over the course of the year. He’s just kept going on his merry way until he “thought” he was going to lose me, then all of a sudden for a couple days he had done two things for me he said he’d do months back (fix my door & get some stains out of a leather jacket for me) and initiated sex, started telling me I was beautiful and how much he loved me all the while hacking away at my accounts.
As I write this, I wonder if this person is actually playing with a full deck or not?!
Thanks – Sandra
Ive got a son who is nearly 8 months old and i met this guy when my son was 3 weeks old we got together on the 8th of may this year and Ive been the first person who he as had a long relationship with but he keeps saying that if my best friend falls out with her boyfriend and she wants a new one he said he go out with her and go out with me to but every-time he comes over to my house he keeps saying he got this feeling that the relationship want last and when he says that i go all emotional and he says it want happen that’s only have of me that thing that so i don’t know if he love me he only ever said that once to me but he says he misses me but i don’t know if he does or if he saying that keep me happy and my son happy
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year (were both 17) and hasnt even told his parents he has a girfriend yet. I keep vasking him why and he keeps telling me “I dont know I just dont want to cause then my parents will be asking me about it”. I told him what they’d say and he told me “nothing, they would just say to bring you home sometime, but anyways, I dont get why it annoys you so much, it not big deal, I’ll tell my parents someday”. Its been 3 months since he said that. Why doesnt he want to? Is he embarrassed by me or something?
by the way, he loves when I’m with his friends and stuff, and is really sweet with me around them and always tell me I’m beautiful and is very lucky to have me, but with his parents… is different…
Hi Suprita,
The problems you have now will not go away with marriage they will only become worst. You want to evaluate if you want to be in a relationship where you needs are not being met
H
Hi Cheryl
The person you are talking seems very unsure about exactly what he wants. It appears he has a crush on your best friend. It means that you are on very rocky romantic grounds as he can leave any time.
H
Hey Hilton!
I have a question that has recently come up, in terms of my relationship. My boyfriend and I are both Freshmen in college, he’s nineteen, I’m eighteen (Nineteen tomorrow for me!) and have been dating a little over four months. I must admit, I am still shocked on a daily basis that actually went after me. But he went out of his way to meet me. He was supposed to end up at an Ivy League (Couldn’t for money reasons) so he took a full ride at the college we attend. I wasn’t supposed to get into this college, I’m an out of state student, but I had a gut feeling I needed to be there. By accident, I was accepted (Long story) and within a week of being on campus, I met my boyfriend. I love him, so so much. He’s had many relationships, as have I, and we’ve never felt this way but either of the people we’ve dating. We were also each others ‘first’ so there is a huge connection. I can see myself marrying this guy (won’t jump to conclusions, though, because anything can happen!). However, he said something last night that I didn’t really understand. Before I mention it, we have talked about what we plan to do in the future. Not WITH each other, but in general. What kind of parents we’d want to be, ideal time he’d or I would want to settle down, etc. But always, “I want to have three kids.’ not ‘We should have three kids” if you get what I mean? Anyway, last night we were laying down with each other, and we were talking about typical last names. I told him how fun his last name is to say (It really is! lol) and he just kind of looked down, biting on his lip, and so on. I asked him what he was thinking (I always ask him) and he wouldn’t tell me at first, because he said, “I don’t want to to feel uncomfortable, or creeped out.’ I said I wouldn’t, to which he somewhat reluctently replied “I was seeing how your name sounded with my last name on the end, and if it has a ring to it.” I kind of stared, curious, to which he said, “I know, creepy…” looking down. But I smiled, said, “Not at all” and gave him a quick kiss, and a bright smile was on his place. What does he mean by this? Any advice? Any help would be great:)
Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 6months and theirs this girl who happened to be a friend but I feel like shea much more he thinks I don’t trust him but in fact ilove him with all my heart he has made it clear he doesn’t trust me either but he complains and says I’m always arguing I just feel like he’s not acting the same I want to be prioritized.. is that alittle too much ? His parents like me but he definitely keeps me away from everything why? Is he ashamed of me ? When we are alone he makes me feel special and puts a smile on my face and lets me know I’m the only girl he wants, does he love me ?
so i have two casses here ones mine and the other is my friend. well to start with, my friend, she likes this guy but she doesnt know if he likes her. shes kinda confused about him cause he always smiling at her, whatching her kinda and hes always always teasing her, but when we, as in me n her other friends, ask if he liked her, he would say, like today, “havent we gone through this nine times! its noooooooooooooo!” but as he said this his face was kinda turning pink n he was sming like crazy. so does he like her or is he just whatever? btw just so you know i dont realy think so but im not the expert, so does he or doesnt he?
and as for mine, mine is complicated because we live far apart n when i say far apart i mean half way around the world type. anyway i just wanted to know ur opinion on a question. well my question is if a guy is 5 years older then the girl n he lives half way aroung the word do u think it will work out n if so how young is too young for a girl to be dating an 18 yearold?
thanks
My bofriend and I are going to six months in couple of days, but I am not sure what to do with him. I truly love him and i always tell him that, but the sad thing is that he never does anything for me. It seems like i am the boyfriend. Every month i am the one who plans something for every month togther, I have to go visit him he never comes over to my place, i was gone for a for a week and it never seem he missed (he told he did),before he met me he was with girl she is a complete phsyco(no joke) i told him i dont want him to talk to her and he did behind my back three times but i found out through his phone and i warned him about already, and after that he said he needed space and i told him its time to breakup, but he didn’t want to and i know he loves me, but i dont know what to do? any advice?
He Alejandra,
I can’t exactly say what is going on in his head, however it seems as though he is not ready to make this move. If it is that important to you tell what it means to you and how it will make you feel and leave it for a while. Pressuring him would only make him more resistant. If after a period of 3 months he hasn’t done it then withdraw from the relationship
H
Jmelly,
Are you saying that he only makes you feel special privately? If so that is a red flag. However if he says you are complaining and arguing too much be aware that this can push him away.
It seems that your insecurity is forcing you to try and get some sort of firm commitment from him. Sometimes it is best to state your desire and simply step back.
H
Xuzy,
For your friend its too early to say whether or not he likes her, maybe he does have and inclination towards her and have not fully made up his mind so he will not commit by answering a direct question about it.
About your other question: Long distance relationships are very complicated and hard to maintain. I take it that you are 13, I would recommend that you wait until the legal age for driving i.e. 16/17 years before you start thinking about serious relationships
HS
Hi CM…
It is clear to me that you are carrying the relationship. If you continue this relationship you will always be the one who is shouldering the weight of it. He seems quite happy for you to do so.
I would clearly outline what I would expect for a boyfriend to be doing and if he doesn’t do them in the next 4-6 weeks I would be looking for someone else who can equally give me the love I deserve.
H
me and my boyfriend have been together for about three years now he had went to a bar on his 21 and i wasnt 21 yet so i let him go with his friends i waited for him all night and no show come to find out he went to a strip club behind my back and talked to some chic at the bar but supposably didnt do anything. but he broke up with me i think its cause he wanted to mess with other girls. we have been on and off ever since . he says he loves me but idk anymore. we fight all the time now because i dont trust him anymore and when i try he messes it up so how can i tell if he really loves me
me and my bf have been going out since 12 july 2012 and we never kissed,huged or hold hand but we are close he help me with work and asks if im ok a i like that about him and we are in 2 lessons together but how should i say im ready forr the next step ? and does he really love me
p.s we talk on computer and he says im beautiful and the only girl he loves
Tiff,
Yep maybe he is not too sure what he wants. The best thing is to let him loose; set him free; let him make up his mind even if you really want him. If you try to cling onto him it will only make matters worst.
Hilton
Kb,
Rather then rushing things I would let them develop at its only natural pace. It can backfire if you force it.
H
i have and how do i ask him on a date again and is dating easier the second time
Hey
x
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and I’m his first kiss and girlfriend . The first 3 months were great but he’s really shy and doesn’t talk 2 me , hardly kisses me and doesn’t hug me properly .I love him more than anything and I don’t know what to do
kb,
Don’t ask him out on a formal date just invite him to come along to group activities with ohter people or hobbies that you are involved with e.g. skating, tennis etc. That way you will have fun without the pressure of having to impress each other.
h
Maria,
This may be not what you want to hear but if he really wants to he will. Maybe you need to have other options available to you.
H
Hi . I’m in a long distance realationship. I’ve been with my bf for about 3 months. We’ve never met in person but we are very much in love. U asked him if he wanted to make this work&he said yes. Ik everyone says long distance realationships don’t last but I believe mine will. Anyways I wanted to know how would Ik other then him saying he loves me,how can he prove it in another way& is it bad if he hasn’t yet?
;-( i cn do nythn fr him
my boyfriend does the fallowings
*kisses me every chance he gets
*holds me in his arms
*tells me he loves me
but i dont like to answer to love because i have no idea what it means can you please tell me what love is
Hi Alex,
Love is a very complex phenomenon. However here is a simplistic explanation.
Love is both a strong emotion of attraction and principle of caring and wanting to be cared for by the object of your love.
Hilton
i really love my boyfriend but for the last few weeks he has been too busy,he has no time to text me. at times he comes online on whatsapp but still doesnt reply. i dont call him much. at time he texts me and tell he loves me and all. he says that i am really sweet and deserve much better. he holds my hands when we meet. i dont know whether he loves me or not. he has always been loyal in his relationships. i just love him alot and really cant stay without him. does he love me? it has been only 2 months we went in a relationship. i just pray that he is not faking it and really loves me.
I know this is where girls would comment and write but I have a question if a girl likes me over and over like for instance she broke up with her boyfriend liked me and I liked her but I did not go out with her and I let my friend re go out with her but anyway I really like her and it kills me that every time she likes another guy and gets over him she likes mn.Now she is going out with another one of my friends and I can’t take I have already asked her out and she said no. There is another twist she thinks I am hot is she not weird or what?
thank you Hilton it really helped
Hi , my boyfriend and I have been dating for 7months now,at first it was real love,I could tell he loved me with d way he always looks @me,but when I offend him he suddenly gets cold towards me,its a long distance relationship and we talk via ims and skype… We got really close and then I thought it wud b wise for me to tell him about ma past (no of guys I have dated) he told me he understood,bt since then he’s been treating me real cold,and he doesn’t want to break up with me…… I am confused cos I don’t kw where I stand with him cos he treats me like just a friend…..he does a few of d above you mentioned,bt he doesn’t ask for my advice or opinion. Pls help…is he going tru a phase or I should give him space? What if he doesn’t want me any more?
So my bf jesse hardly ever text Me back and when he does he says his phone was dead and ever once in a while he txt Me saying it was dead I try to talk to hima min later and he never answers but today we where txting asking what we wanted for christmas i told him I already got what I asked for wich was him he said he feels the same way and he told Me he loves Me but the only time we talk is in our math class and he flirts none stop but does he really love Me or does he love the idea of loving Me
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We do everything together and we have such a good time. Sure he texts girls and is a bit secretive but he acts like he only loves me. And then last night we were hanging out with friends, got a little drunk and the words “I’m leaving you.” left his mouth. He took it back right after he said it but.. Since he even said it at all.. Does that mean he really wants to break up?
Also: I thought a few more details would help you give me some advice about my current situation.
When him and I are together, we sometimes talk about our futures. Getting married, kids, future jobs.. And those plans included each other. We kiss a lot, hold hands, go everywhere together.. We say, “I love you.” a lot and it seems like he is really happy with me.
So I am really confused as to why he said what he said. Sure, he talks to other girls on his phone through texting (he is a bit of a flirt), but he assures me that I am the only one for him.
Looking forward to your reply
– Cadi
I’ve been dating this amazing guy named James & I told him that I was starting to fall in love with him & he told me that it takes him a while to say it back but a few days later he told me he loved me. He shows all the signs that he loves me but he does stuff to help his exes out and I get upset but I don’t show it. He knows all about my past sometimes I just don’t know
Madly in love & confused
So I read this article to see if my boyfriend was still into me of loves me. We’ve been together since 11.11.11 he asked me very sweetly over the phone to be his “girl” I said yes because I really liked him not to long after he didn’t talk to me for about a month saying his cell phone had been shut off because he lost his job. So from like Jan of ’12 to feb ’12 I barely heard from him til the first of Feb when he called me stating he was homeless and me being me invited him to live with me even though he was jobless saying hed have to look for a job and the such. Its now December 31 and he still hasn’t got a job and Im six months pregnant and we’ve only gone out together once the whole time we’ve been together (We started with hanging out and stuff never really dated). Our sex lifes has slowed way down even before I got pregnant we barely are ever in the same room I dont ever see him looking for a job. I believe this article has given me the balls so to say to dump him. Cross your fingers and wish me luck. Im tired of being used as a atm because Ive been to nice and bought him everythings hes needed pretty much since hes been here.
me and my bf have known each other since i was 6 and he was 5 weve only been dating 10 weeks and does everything above and we love each other like no other
okay me and my bf were talking about having sex in the near future and would i get in trouble if im fixing to be 18 and him 17 and he gets me pregnant would it be bad
Hey Hilton, I could really use some help.
I’ve been with my boyfriend since August 6th 2012 and even though it’s only been 5 months, I honestly think that he’s the one that I am meant to spend my life with. He has told me time and time again that I mean everything to him, and that I’m the one that he’s going to marry and grow old with. So you can imagine that I am terrified to lose him. Which is why this is so difficult.
We were talking for many months before we actually made it offical. And during the time that we were talking, he put up on facebook the fact that he had started dating another girl. And while he was with this other girl, he continued to call me ‘babe’ and tell me how beautiful I am and was acting like he was still single. So now that we are dating I’m afraid that he might be doing that again, but this time the table is turned.
I’ve caught him flirting with other girls and I am really scared that maybe he’s cheating on me. I’ve asked him about it but he always comes up with a convienent story and an excuse. I never press it because I don’t want it to break us apart. We live an hour from eachother so I’m only able to see him once a week, and every time that we do see eachother, I always have to go to him because he always has some reason that he can’t (it seems like he doesn’t want to make the effort.)
Since we don’t live in the same place, I have no evidence of what he’s doing during the week and who exactly he’s doing it with.
I don’t know what to do. I want so desperately to believe him and stay with him for the rest of my life. But how am I supposed to do that if I can’t trust him?
Should I trust him?
my boyfriend and i have been together for more than a year now & he does all those things on the list, but it seems like he still doesnt want to hang with me as much as he use to,
i mean, i dont understand what changed i had such a good time,
& things are kinda different now,
i dont get whats going on between me and him,
he says he loves me all the time,
but he doesnt show it as much as he use too.
i dont know, i just dont get love.
i dont really know what happened but im just going with it anyway
is that a bad thing ?
Hi,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and I’m still wondering if he really loves me…from the steps written above he doesn’t really do any of them, I have a friend who I’ve asked if he talks about me and he’s told me that he doesn’t really. My bf never asks to hang out or never really asks me out at all, its always me who invits him over or makes the efforts to see him…he doesn’t really do little things to make me happy, I’ve givin hints about things I would like him to do more offten and he never really seems to catch on. When were together he codles me and he’s sweet telling me he doesn’t want to loose me but I’m not sure that’s reallyy enough. When he does come over he seems to only want one “thing” from me and once that’s done he shows me some songs or wants to go watch tv…I’m scared he’s using me. But I love him and I want to make this work.
Can anyone give me some advice please?? Thank you
boys are like elastick bands they like to be upclose and have everything to do with you and stands up with for you and does almost everything together and is so scared of loosing you he does everything with you at school at your house and basically every where you go he goes with then as you get futher into the relationship he starts getting futher apart until finally he streches out so far that he cant stand it and then snaps back so hard you dont know what happened you thought that you were breaking up and then turn all confused and then find out that you love the person and learn that you have your diffrences and but you love that person and if he is cheating on you, you dont deserve him and he doesnt deserve you. So that is what you learn by what i have said will inspire you to do something about your boyfriend cheating on you thank you and good bye love becca
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT A YEAR, BUT I’M STILL FINDING IT HARD TO TURST HIM.HE SPENTS MOST OF HIS FREE TIME HOME, BUT SOME TIMES GOES OUT WITHOUT TELLING ME ON HIS DAY OFF WHILE I’M AT WORK, AND WHEN I CALL HIM, HE WILL TELL ME HS’S HOME, BUT AT TIMES I’LL LEAVE WORK ONLY TO FINE OUT THAT HE’S NOT HOME. AND WHEN I TRY TO ASK HIM, HE WILL GET MAD,SAYING THAT I WANT TO CONTROLL HIM, THAT HE NEEDS SOME TO BE WITR HIS FRIENDS , BUT I JUST DON’T KNOW IF HE’S CHEATING ON ME OR NOT.
Sweety lemi tel u somthing iF that boy realy loved you then he would do anything to jus be with you..I had the same problem with my ex..you deserve better than that CUNT HIS STuPid and he will soon realise wat he has lost and it will be too late..evry girl deserves a boy who will treat her like the queen she is..and wen he realises that he has lost u he is going to try and do everything to get u bacK AND YOU must neva take him bak As much as u LOve him because he will do the same thing over and over again…I. Don’t know who u are sweety but I Can tell u u deserve better
I me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half and he has lies a few times recent lie is his ex from years ago who cheated on him with a lot of men got in contact and said she still loved him and she wants him back but he said he does not love her he loves me and we have been through to much for her to try and ruin our relationship but apparently she tried to split him and his other ex up should i be worried. When i say we have been through a lot i mean because hes 27 am 17 and we went through so much and loads of people trying to aplit us up we are moving into our longterm house in two weeks is this the right decision.
Hi Priyanka,
I am not sure what your bf is thinking but men do go through cycles of intense attraction and then backing off because they either start second guessing or have what I call lover’s remorse – much like consumer’s remorse.
The thing to do is not to panick but keep calm and give him space. As much as you love him do not become desperate and clingy as this will drive him away even more
H
Hi Nick,
What you are describing sounds like a immature love where teenagers really like someone but pretend not to because they do not want to show weakness or become vulnerable.
H
Hi Ella,
Yes men can be really confusing. He is probably trying to sort through his feelings as what you shared was not the image he had in head about you. However once he gets his mind around it he would probably love you more for your honesty.
Just to say, don’t be too quick to share the deep secrets in a relationship because if you do this prematurely you can scare someone off. Wait untill you feel you can really trust someone with your feelings
H
Yvonne,
If I were you I would not be waiting around for his text. If he doesn’t text leave it and get with enjoying your life and other friends. If he is really interested he will come around.
H
Cadi
I don’t know if he was really drunk or he got drunk so that he can sum up the courage to tell you what he he has in his mind. You will have to look at ohter signal e.g. his attitude, actions and words towards you to make up your mind
H
Cadi,
When men include you in their future and introduce you to their friends and family he is really into you.
H
Jessica,
You sound a bit possessive and jealous, you would need to be careful as these can drive men away
H
Hi Shelby,
Personally I say sex while tempting can really confuse people who care for each other. I definitely would not recommend it at this point as it will change the dynamics of the relationship. There are lots of other ways to demonstrate care and love. If you do still decide to go ahead with having sex PROTECT yourself.
H
Hi Lovetee,
This is a big red flag. There is nothing wrong with being with friends however lying is definitely not a good way to build trust. You have to decide if this is something you can live with or if it is a deal breaker for you
H
Hi Shelby
If a lot of people do not think your relationship with him is good I would definitely reconsider. People may be seeing things that your are not considering because you are in love.
Maybe you may want to postpone moving in with him untill you get some clarity about this relationship
H
Hi Allie,
It seems to me that you know something is just not right with this relationship. You are not getting what you want, you are making most of the efforts and you feel used.
Well can you really live with this? Do you want more? Then you need to clearly share your feelings and take bold steps to do something if this do not change significantly in 6-8 weeks
Remember just giving what he wants won’t really make him love you any more. You need to have clear borders – that will make him respect you
H
Hi Mason,
Going along with something you are not satisfied with is a recipe for failure. Eventually you will be dumped for someone more exciting. Gently and firmly express how you feel and be prepared to do something about it.
H
Shyan
Your desperation and dying love for him may just be your downfall. It seems to be the your intuition is telling you something you do not want to face, however if you do not address it, it will only get worst.
If I were you I will slow things right down. If he asks I would tell I love and want to be with him but I don’t want to be “the other woman”. Show him that even if you love him out of principle you are will to walk away.
H
Go Amber, Be firm but gentle. You have my support. I pray you have a safe delivery
H
Hi. I met my boyfriend online . We haven’t fully met bcuz he lives in England&I live in Ohio. But I wanted to know that even though he says he wants to be with forever. Have a life together,says ily alot and he just is always there for me& always cheers me up . I have alot if medical diseases & I’m so happy I found someone who accepts me,loves me& understands Me&my struggles. So my question is even though we’re far apart how do I figure out if he really loves me and is really committed ?
Hi Jasmine
I understand your need to be loved and accepted as you are. I must say that untill you both meet and get a real grasp of the situation there is no way of telling as virtuall love can easily distorty reality.
H
Hi Jasmine
I understand your need to be loved and accepted as you are. I must say that untill you both meet and get a real grasp of the situation there is no way of telling as virtuall love can easily distort reality.
H
Thank you for sharing this! It’s interesting to see little tidbits of information that can better indicate if your boyfriend really does love you. This list has even further assured me that he must love me, which I consider it a miracle in itself. I love him, because he’s simply brilliant and amazing. He’s so kind and selfless, and an individual who wishes to take care of those he loves. He’s beyond intelligent, handsome, but it’s his heart that’s the most beautiful thing of all. I look at him and wonder why he is with me. We met this year, our freshmen year, and he picked me out while we were all standing in a line, waiting for a school event to start. I love him, very much. I can see myself settling down with this guy, as he’s everything I’ve ever hope for, and more then I’ve ever thought to ask for. I guess I just don’t understand why he feels this way about me. I don’t see it. He is often stunned by the face that I shake my head when he calls me beautiful, and frown and bite my lip when he says I’m amazing. I see a girl, who as average looks at best, of average intelligence, with nothing remotely spectacular or special in any way. Yet he gives me these looks, and it’s like a blind man seeing the light for the first time. I know it’s a weird way to describe it, but it’s the only way I can think to. I guess he must Love me…it’s just a matter of me accepting that.
Hi. I been with my boyfriend about a little over a year. It’s alot of odds stacked against us, due to the age different. He is 12 years older then me (32). It was a issue at first but he eventually ask me to be he’s. It was wonderful at first until, he sent a half naked picture of me to his friend. I found out later but this was before we got together btw I forgave him. Now I feel like he is not there emotional, I have always helped when he was out, but I felt like he can do more when I need him emotionally, its like him first, his family, then me. I always put him first, then I then he think about me. I knw he loves me he tells me all the time he buy’s me roses, chocolates.etc. When I need him most he is not there, when somebody tried to rob me he thought I was lying and said it was my fault. I was hurt to the core, he never ask me if I was alright. Until I called. It has been other situation. I talk to him about it he says he sorry. He stills does it. What should I do.
I have to guys in love with me. One is my ex who keeps cheating and is a coward but wants me every chance I give he messes up. This is a distance and online relationship by the way . Then this other guy is everything above and he loves me. My head says. James the cheaterm h eart says Brett the sweetheart I don’t want to hurt them help please.
Hi Shianne,
It seems that you are have a very great emotional need, maybe more than he realizeor even can handle. If you are expecting more than he is aware, or even more than can give then it may poison the relationship. Maybe you need face your need, find more ways of meeting this need e.g. other friends and family who can empathize with you. Not that you should not expect him to be there for you, however if it becomes too much for him it may scare him off – not what you want. He may need help in understanding how to be there for you when you need him most
Hilton
Cristal
FEEL with your heart but ACT with your head!
H
So me & my Boyfrieend have been making out a lot , and I was wondering if that means love or if he jzt wants me I’m a sexual way ?
Me and my bf almost been together for 2 years and we been thru a lot lik arguing and he said a lot thru these arguments and than says hes sorry he don’t mean it and stuff lim that but wen I say u tlk to a lot of gurls he says no but wen I find out he does specially this one girl I don’t like and he still talks to her im not mad or anything but its just the way he talks to her makes me feel as if he likes her and wen I ask him allthese questions he says no I love you more than anything ur perfect for me and etc but I don’t know to believe it he makes his life plans with me and im not losing feelings but I be honest with him y cant he be honest with me lik I have to find everything out by my self and wen I tlk to him about it he says he do feel guilty but it doesnt seem lik it I don’t know what to do should I jsut keep my distance lik wen we’re together just don’t be as close coz first I was his wife now im just like a friend named konnie that really hurted a lot of things hurt specially comming from the person u love that u don’t even kno loves u back even wen they say it
Hey,
I started to go out with someone that lives in a diffrent country and he is really nice and sweet but he always wants to Skype me, text me or talk to me and that’s good but I would like it if he gave me some space so but I don’t know how to tell him so could you give me some ways to tell him without hurting him??
Plz answer
my bf an i been toghter 3yrs an we have a lil boy toghter. how do i knw if he really loves loves me. he always want to hang with his boys an he calls me names, we tlk everynite an we dnt live toghter, when were on the phone its babys this baby that wen were with eachother alone its baby this an baby that, but if were with his family or friend its lisa an bad name calln. PLZ HELP ME FIG THIS OUT.
Hi Lani,
Its difficult to say, the best way to prove love is to back off physical expressions and see if your love can survive without it for period of time. Physical intimacy tends to cloud our judgement.
H
Hi Konnie,
I take it that you are married to this person. Marriage advice is very different from girl-friend advice.
My suggestion is to let him know how his actions actually do to you. Tell him that you would like to be more connected but these activities actually make you feel vulnerable. Ask him for suggestions of how you both can move forward together in the relationship and recapture what you had before
H
Emily
You may want to take up a hobby or project and tell him the you will be very busy soon and you will not be as available you use to be. Give him specific dates and times you will be available.
Hope that helps
H
Hi Lisa,
It would be good if you can agree some specific times to address your baby issues with him and another “baby-free” talk time. Also let him know that you are very hurt when he calls you names especially in front of friends and family. Ask him for suggestions to on how you both can change things.
H
ive been with my boyfriend for 5months and ive been frie.ds with him since I was younger I get along very well with his siblings and he just recently lost his mother and father he does all 12 things mentiomed and he constantly lets me know he loves me and he would die if he lost me he tries his hardest to make sure im okayy and worries aboit me all the time and lets me know how he feels and asks me how im feeling does this mean he loves me and wants to spend his life with me ?????
Hi, I’ve been dating a guy who i’ve personally not met. We just chat online. We chated 4 around 1 week, & he realised dat i fell in love with him. Then he askd me whether i lovd him.. but i dint really say d truth.. & said dat i lovd him as a frnd. But he was sure dat i lovd him.. & askd me whether i could date him & eventually i agreed. We spoke on the phone twice.. but have not met each other. As one week passd away… I’ve startd feeling as if he’s loosing interest in me, he doest chat with me until i start. He nvr asks me abt my personal intersts or smthng as such. I’m not really sure, dat he really lovs me or is just dating 4 d sake of me…. PLEASE HELP!!
HI Alex,
Online dating is very tricky and I will not put too much energy or emotion into worrying about this. Rather I will get to know many more people so that I am not stuck on only one individual who may not be exactly right for you especially that you have never met him
H
Brenda,
After all of those things that he is doing a saying what do you think? It certainly doesn’t look like he is playing games.
H
Hi. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost two years. He ia an over the road truck driver and has just told me in the last week that some times he needs his space and cant wait to leave. I got kinda hurt by this seeing as how we hardly ever see each other now(8 days a month). He use to do all those things listed above and slowly one by one has stopped??? I have no idea what happen we were very happy and in love and now this. He hasnt been over the road for long he has only had this job for about four months now. and we got engaged 6 months ago. I thought we were ok but now this. what can i do to get it to were he misses me again and things were like they were???
Kat
Me and my boyfriend been together for 2 years . He tells me he loves me but he doesnt like saying it in front of his parents?:(
i have a boyfriend names kacey and he came over for a birthday party and my dad just randomly yelled at him and he walked out the door now ever time i ask him to come over he says im busy and when he does come over hes always geting messages and when he reads or replys to them he trunes his phone away from me i just fell like ever since that birthday party his been acting diffrent
My boyfriend does mostly all of these things but I still cant tell if he really loves me. He doesn’t like to call me because he cant hear in his house. He told me that he doesn’t want me to meet his mom because shes mean and he cant stand her. I don’t really know if he trust me for real. I know I love him so much and will do anything for him but hes so confusing I don’t understand him.
Kat,
I don’t know of any man who is comfortable doing that!
H
Raecheal,
I understand how you feel. You thought you had a great thing going and now it seems to be going sour. There are lots of reasons for this and sometimes men love in cycles.
One of the ways significant thing you should do is to allow him the space he requires. It may sound frightening however trying to cling on will only make matters worst.
If you want to explore this further do get in touch with me directly so we can get your love back
H
Hi Gabby
Yes if that happened to me it would affect me deeply. You are probably wondering what to do. First you need to speak to your dad and find out what the issue was about. If possible he (your dad) should apologise if he did someone wrong. If that is not possible do tell him (your bf) you are sorry for what happened. Avoid inviting him to places where your dad will be.
If you are looking to really get your love back then feel free to contact me personally
H
Sydnia,
Does sound a bit confusing to me too. To work out if he trying to fob you off, you may want to get to know some of his other friends and family and find out if what he says is true. Of course you will have to be diplomatic in how you go about doing this.
Do contact me directly if you need help with this.
Hilton
So, I’ve been with him for a month; he plays up to each step, except for telling others about us – whenever I ask him if we could somehow inform his friends about us, he always contradicts; he explains, to me, that he does not tell his friends about his relationships anymore as he fears them trying to pull us apart. Is he really telling the truth, or is he simply ashamed of me? I really do find the acknowledgment of me important, as it is, after all, a sign of pride and care…
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and sometimes i dont know how to feel about our relationship. He text other females, telling them their beautiful and asking for pictures. He doesnt know i know this and i also know he deletes them all after awhile too!!! But as far as me and him are concerned he does everything and anything for me. But recently since i told him i was still insecure about my body, lately hes been making little comments here and there. Idk.. what do ya’ll think?????
Hi Tasha,
You do not say what is causing you to feel insecure about your body, however I must say that your boyfriend will pick up your insecurities and react to them. As difficult as it seems it is not really his job to make you feel great about yourself. When you feel wonderful about you he will begin to feel equally great about you. In other words you determine how he feels about you.
Would you like to work on a program that will turn all this around so that your boyfriend can respect and admire you again? Contact me privately and lets start immediately help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Hilton
Goda,
If your boyfriend does everything except this then maybe you need to be patient. Forcing this one issue may just spoil things. If it is so important to you calmly explain how important it is and give him some slack. You may find that if you do not pressure him he will eventually do it.
There are some secret methods to get your boyfriend to do what you would like easily. If you would like to find out do contact me help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Talk soon
Hilton
h
My boyfriend and I have been together for about a year now live together he seems to do most of those above he has a daughter very cute and adorable by the way but never listens to my opinion on what I think on how to raise her and he’s asked me to help sometimes I feel like I’m the 3rd wheel in our relationship and idk what to do I don’t feel he listens to me when I express myself he says he wants to be able to go out with his friends on his own once in awhile what do u think or what shall I do?
Hi Alejandra,
It’s always a bit difficult when your partner has a child as children would demand attention, time and resources that could be yours. As she is not your child you can only make suggestions but not force your opinions. As for him going out alone with friends, that can be threatening if they are single guys, however you need to give him a bit of space as this is one thing guys are afraid of losing – their freedom.
I do have a detailed program to secure your relationship, if you want to know more about it email me hel[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Talk soon
Hilton
i am with my boyfriend from nearly 2 years. he was used to be the perfect boyfriend, and he was alot into me, like i was his life, but from few time i feel like he don’t love me, he cares for me but not my happines (which he alot used to), he now gets alot (i mean alot) anry, i feel like i only makes him angry now, but he cares for my problems and all that alot.
what can do to bring him back?
My boyfriend is too busy with his extra-curricular activities,friends and sleep..i feel so lonely at times.he texts at 3-4hours interval and sometimes not even that..he says he loves me every now and then.when coaxed,he says he can’t express his love.how do i test him?
Hi Hilton
My boyfriend and I have been best friends for over a decade and partners now for 5 months – living together (didn’t see it coming). I am having trouble understanding him. He has social anxiety, but is way too hard on himself (he’s a good looking guy, and great at talking, joking around). During the course of the day some things come up that need mentioning and he fails to tell me because – like today – a colleague had lunch with him and he couldn’t text because the guy was so talkative. I’m kind of big on being proud of your partner, and putting each other first. He’s explained himself before and said it’s because he doesn’t like the attention and prying into his private life — but sometimes I really feel like he cares more about them, than me. Which is fair because of the social anxiety, but hard on the relationship. How should I deal with this? I feel like he takes me for granted.
Hi
Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and weve been happy until recently. In the past ive caught my boyfriend flirting with other girls via text and have confronted him about it so he has stopped. But because of those actions ive been holding a grudge and use it against him and cant trust him much. I know this is wrong but the problem is theres this girl he hangs out with alot because shes part of his group and they hang out outside of the group too only at her grandmas house where she lives and one time he got so drunk he fell asleep at the edge of her bed and i confronted him about it and told him he cant do that anymore and he hasnt since but still i feel like he doesnt have time for me anymore. He started this new job and she works there too and hes always busy now so i feel like hes with her and his friends more than me now a days. Sometimes he even goes to work with her and the days wen i can hang out he cant and wen he can hang out and i cant hes with her and his friends it so frusterating but i confronted them together and they assured me i have nothing to worry about that he loves me and is always talking about me and he does show me affection in front of her and when were together he doesnt appear to have changed towards me so i dont know if i should be worrying so much and if i should let them be friends????
PS
what really worries me is that one time she told him they shouldnt hang out as much so i wouldnt feel unconfortable cuz she noticed i was being jealous and i can tell it bothered him because he says hes never had any friend tell him that and he cares for all his friends……i dont know that to think please help me ive been going crazy for months now!!!
By the way i forgot they hang out with her friends too which ive never met like going to get togethers and stuff not all the time but once in while when she invites him to hang out and her friends are there and stuff and since my boyfriend doesnt mind meeting new people and is very friendly he just goes with it but sometimes i dont know when this occurs so i told him he needs to start communicating more with me about where he goes and with who……….i dont know if i did right?
Hi Ipshita,
Thanks for your question.
If you would like to get your boyfriend to love and treat you right I suggest you start by not depending on him to fulfill your emotional needs – although that is what you really want.
Start by getting a rich and varied life. Get friends of your own (both male and female), exercise or get involved in sports, become involved in hobbies, volunteer to help others etc.
As weird as that sounds, it will actually show him that you have a life outside of him. You will also become attractive in ways you cannot imagine now.
|By the way here is video of 3 simple ways to get your boyfriend to love you and treat you right
Hilton – helping to get the love you deserve
Debbie,
Living together in a new relationship does take some effort to learn and understand each other. I can see that you like transparency and connection. While this maybe to easy for you others may struggle with it.
The best option is to avoid criticism, frustation and anger. Explain how the action makes you feel, say what you would prefer and remember old habits die hard – he will not change overnight. Be firm but gentle.
Also find things that he does which are good and give him tons of positive reinforcement – Thanks, appreciation, admiration, a kiss/hug etc.
Here is a great resource that may be helpful “how to capture his heart”
If you want some personal relationship coaching send me an email help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Here’s to helping you get a great relationship
H
Hi Jennifer,
Thanks for commenting.
I fully understand what you are going through, especially if you feel that you are not getting enough time with him. However the answer is not to nag him as this will only make him want to spend less time with you.
I suggest you ask him for idea on how the both of you could spend more time with each other and you may also tell him some of your own ideas and ask him how he feels about them.
If you are comfortable it might be an idea to befriend this girl so that she becomes a friend of the relationship not just his friends only.
Recently I came accross this great resource and would strongly suggest you check it out
How to “Capture his heart and make him want you”
If you want some personal help do get in touch – hel{at}hiltonsamuel.com – Remember to replace the brackets with @
H
Hi Jennifer
Yes it would be good if he is more transparent and even take you along.
H
Hi
I followed your advice and I tried to accept the girl and be friends with her and I even told him how I feel and I only told him that the only thing I find disrespectful is if you sleep over her house and I don’t like it when he lies to me and he said no problem he won’t do it and today I find out he slept over her house after I told him not to and to top it off he lied to me at first when I confronted him and then he admitted it finally. So I told him it can’t go on like this and i felt like he just always goi g to leep lieing to me and I need time apart so I broke up with him. I told him in a nice way but I sounded a little emotional and I said I think it’s better this way and he said he doesn’t want this but if that’s Wut I want it’s ok I guess. So my question is did I do right? What do u think about his reaction? And how do I teach him a lesson so that he’ll want to get back with me and change his ways in case I decide to take him back? Please help me I’ve been crying since it happened and I don’t know how to deal with it I feel like I lost someone very dear to me =(
I loved a boy very much. because he told me that’s he loves me. seems to be good so i fall in love with him. but one day i got a wrong message from him that looks like a love message. He swear that the message sent to his sister. ok fine. but after that i spy on him.. he always using facebook and always chatting with girls and giving his number for them. My one of friend helped me to find out whats going on facebook. he gave me his password and ID and I chatted with my BF through that profile. he told me (the fake profile) that he don’t have a GF and He don’t love anybody. and he gave me (fake profile) his mobile no to call him. he dating and loving with me always telling that I’m his whole world but at the Facebook he is telling every girl that he don’t have a GF. I directly asked him why you doing that with my proofs. he apologies me and said “I’m sorry actually I didn’t love u more but after you left I knew that I love you. so please don’t leave me. give me one chance.” ok fine I gave him another chance. but now i’m afraid to love him. I don’t know whether he cheating me or not. truly loving me or not… what can I do now? is he cheating? this problem makes me crazy/
Hi Gee,
Thanks commenting.
When you first fell in love with him, you granted him your full trust. He has broken the trust you gave him, hence now he has to earn it. He needs to show by his conduct and actions that he is worthy of your love and trust.
Let me tell a secret if you make him earn your trust he will respect you forever.
Want to know how to make him earn your trust — check out this powerful presentation that reveals what men secretly want
Talk soon
H
Hi Jennifer,
I understand exactly how you feel. You can’t stand to be without him yet its so difficult for you to stay in a relationship where you are being taken forgranted.
Yes you did the right thing. It may not feel that way because your heart is hurting. He is expecting you to come crying back to him. However you should avoid doing this at all cost. If you do he will lose all respect for you and treat you even worst than before.
I highly recommend that you become very busy and get your life together. You will become more confident as the days go by and indeed more attractive.
I have found “The Maghic of Making Up” to be one of the best programs to be help people in your situation. I recomment you have a look at it- here is the link http://www.hiltonsamuel.com/go/makingup.php
If you do need some personal coaching to help you through this difficult phase do email me help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Keep strong –
H
hmm it is too cost to me dear. any way i always respect him and always trying to be kind to him. he told me that ” I’ve never seen a girl like u ever”. These days I am not communicating with me as usual. So he told me “I know that u don’t love me as before. but I love u so much. I can not live without u. Pls give me sometimes to change. Or if u don’t love me tell I’ll go forever. It’s hard but I’ll try” don’t know what to say. tell me your ideas Hilton not others or stupid presentations. U r also a boy. what do you want from ur GF. how a GF must be?? what I should do.. be kind always.. ??? or be rude?
BUSI your boyfriend is acting that way because u was with a next guy. If u had truly loved him u wouldnt have hurt him and throw away the trust he had in you. So in a sense you did look for the way he is treating you now, cause in his mind u hurt him and he wants to hurt u back. So basically what he is going to do now is flirt alot with girls till he finds one he like and then dump you. Unless you find a way to stop it. But hes always gonna remember wat u did to him.
Hi Gee,
As a man I must say this guy is genuinely into you. Sometimes women miss golden chances at real love simply because they are not feeling the passion that they would like. Unfortunately passion is seasonal and it makes up a very small percentage of relationships. If you can, I would recommend that you create and culture real love with this guy, if not you may realize too late that you have a great opportunity and missed it.
If you need further help do contact me help[at]hiltonsamuel.com – remember to replace the brackets with @
H
Is that your e mail address?? well if it is . It doesn’t work.
Hilton thank you for your kindness. well now I’m trying to act as normal. just don’t try to hurt him. But he hurting me sometimes. And I directly tell him that you hurts me.
these days he going wherever he wants with his friends. He asked me to join to. But these days i have my exams so I’m busy with my studies. After that I think I must spend time with him. Is that right na?
well I don’t know much about boys. That’s why I am asking again and again.
I already had my first kiss with him. But that wasn’t a kiss I wanted. It wasn’t smooth. just he tries to touch my body during kissing. I tried to avoid him. but I could’t. I can not understand is it a true love kiss or he trying to connect with me so badly? I just told him that I don’t like that. I am a teacher after all. I told that I can not do this. Am I wrong? is a boy always wants to touch the girl during kissing? I am an Asian girl so i am just you know. He is the first boy who touched me.
Good advice now I know I need to dump his ass! lol
Today is a month ive been with my boyfriend, I love him so much and we expressed various of times how we think were the ones for each other.. I’m 26 hes 29. I went out drinking with a girlfriend on sunday, we got a little tipsy, he picked us up from the bar and dropped us off home. Im a handfull when I’m drunk so I said some things I shouldn’t have. Its been 4 days I haven’t seen him and he hardly texts me he doesn’t want to talk he said how I act was a turn off and hes really bothered and annoyed. . I apologized and explained what I did was wrong but he still hasn’t except my apology..is it to late to make things right?
help[at]hiltonsamuel.com – Remember to remove [at] and replace it with @
I do this to avoid getting spam emails
H
Hi Gee
Its great to see that he does actually want to include you in his social circle. Even if you are busy you may want to consider joining him at laeast once. It would give him a chance to show you off to his friends and also you can demonstrate that he taken by being by his side. You will also begin to see what types of friends he has and if you will be able to get allong with them.
There should also be private dates where you are both alone to have long chats and share your souls.
Seems as if you are not very experienced in this matter if you want expert support do join our Bronze romance coaching program where we not only give the the exact details of how to conduct yourself for romantic success but also give you a program to work from. You will get 2 hours free direct access to me, ta ask any question you want.
The package is usually $297 however you can get a $100 discount for $197 if you take within the next 7 days
Talks soon
Hi Tona
That can be a real challenge for someone to see their new girfriend junk. It may not be too late but you must do somethings right. to find out what you can do to turn things around get this program immediately.
http://www.hiltonsamuel.com/go/makingup.php
It will show you how to get him back
H
me and my boyfriend have only been dating for like less than a week,but after he asked me out,he hasn;’t really spoken to me since,my friends make rude remaerks about him,and i don’t know what to do.im only 15,but i need to know what i should do.i’m stuck in the middle,and i hate it.help!
I have a boyfriend, who i have been with about 4 months. Everytime I see him i get very nervous and sometimes feel that I’m losing interest. But when I get home, its a different story. I think about him nonstop. I dream about him a lot. Its only when I’m away from him when I feel that I really love him. He’s very passionate and caring, and I know that he doesn’t want to end the relationship and maybe loves me. I don’t think I love him, I don’t even think I have true feelings for him. What in the world is going on? Any advice or comments?
hey, ive been with my boyfriend for 4 months .. and im not sure if he truly loves me. Though he cares alot about my health and mood and all those small things and always tells me about how much he loves me and how lucky he is 2 have me . But i dont know if he is serious with me .. he doesnt want to tell his friends about me, he only told his brother and sisters. He thinks about the future alot.. about me and him, he does most of the 12 u meantioned. and he is a very honest person, I beleive he trusts me .. and i have great trust in him, he always tries 2 plan an outing for the two of us but i can never make it , and he doesnt mind that fact. im jst not sure if he really means most of his actions or is he just an amazing player, please help me.
Hey, me and my ex were together going on 6 years we were engaged to be married but called it off bc we decided we weren’t ready we took a year break and we still aren’t together we tried working on it but it seems like we just can’t get it together now we have a baby and we were still sleeping around and doing things as a couple without the title he started hanging with new friends and now he has a female friend he say they r just friends but after I found out about her he told me he would just like to be friends I should move on and maybe we will be together down the line if were meant to be together.. But he still texts me every day asking me how I am and just holding convo bout things between us.. I’m Gonna move on like he says but my question is, does he just need time to see what he wants.. Or is he really ready to move on..
Hi Esha,
When a man tells you to move on, believe him, do not try to hang on simply because he texts you everyday. In fact I would actually cut him off except for seeing his child, as contact with him will only string you along and give you false hope.
If you are interested in getting him back then you must see get this great program to shows you exactly how to get your ex-back.
Hi Emily,
Although you may feel stuck, you have many options. Dating for less than a week does not make you committed, neither are you bound to defend him.
So I say that even if you feel strongly about him, DO NOT make your life stop just because of this. Still study, go out and have fun.
Guys are funny, when they see that you are not dependent on them they may want you back.
You still have lots of life and love in you
H
Hi Paige,
It sounds as if you are more in love with the mental imaage you have of the person that the real live person – its called a crush or more specifically infatuation.
H
Hi Itgirl,
From what you have described it seems as though he genuinely loves you. No one will ever tick 100% of all the boxes but if he does most things I think you are on to a winner.
If you are thinking of perhaps getting family one day I think you would make a really good prospect. Have you ever seen this program, “how to go from girlfriend to wife” it may be a great resource for you.
If you want to consider relationship coaching contact me today help[at]hiltonsamuel.com remember to remove the bracket and put @ symbol
Talks soon
H
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 years now and we kinda had a misunderstanding with one another and now he wont text me back I even tried asking his mom if he was okay and she said he’s playing his little game (xbox)! I’ve been trying to look up on the internet on different things to do with this situation but I really need some great advice that can help me through this and keep our relationship going good! I love him with all that I am and in my eyes he’s more than perfect I just want to know that he does still love me and wants to be with me? Any help???
Thanks!
Hey,
In October I moved to a city two hours away from my hometown, and recently I visited there on Friday. I decided to hang out in downtown with my friend to see that this really cute guy at my school, Nate, was there with his three best guy friends. We hung out for a couple hours then I went home and we immediately started texting. The next day (My birthday, March 30th) We met up and hung out almost all day, and after we left he called me and asked me out. Now it is monday so we have been dating for two days and I just wanna know what’s really going through his mind. If you could help me that would be awesome, Thanks!
I hve been 4 month with my bf. But now i felt that he seem veey far away from me..even he say he love me but i feel far from him..
Hi I’m 17 and I’ve been in a relationship with a boy my age for a year and a half now. We’ve always had a very solid relationship with only minor bumps along the way. Recently he has joined a school sport. Since then he has been changing. I’ve noticed small changes, like he hadn’t seen me in a week and normally he would wait for me to get there because he would be excited to see me, but I found myself waiting for him while he talked with other people. I’m sure I’m being overly sensitive, but we’ve always been priorities in eachothers lives and now I feel left behind. At the end of the day he watches the time like he’s waiting to get away from me. Has he lost interest in me?
Hello!
My name is Megan and I am in a very difficult situation. I really want to know of my boyfriend is really into me; however, it is very hard to tell because we have never met before. I live in West Virginia and he lives all the way in California. He talks about a future with me and our children. We have also talked about getting married, moving in together, and him letting me meet his son. Another twist is the age difference. He is 38 and I’m only 17. He says that he is in love with me and I know without a doubt that I am in love with him. I just really need some advice because my friends and family are not supportive at all.
Thanks for anything you can tell me!
Megan<3
Hi Kayla,
You are making a serious mistake that many people in your situation make. The guy is ignoring you and you are rewarding this type of behaviour by trying to do things to make the relationship good. In other words you are rewarding his bad behaviour, which will only backfire on you.
The thing to do is to step back from the relationship and get your life and power back.
I found this program to be very helpful in situations like yours, you may find it useful too. Check it out and see if will help you like it has other people in your position – stop your lovers rejection.
If you would like some direct coaching do contact on help[at]hiltonsamuel.com – remember to remove the backets and replace with @
H
I do not understand what you are saying MB.
Are you saying that you have no romantic feelings for him, which makes you feel disconnected?
H
Hi Megan,
At your age the best thing to do is wait! Marrying someone you have never met and moving in with him can be a real shock regardless of how strongly you feel at the moment. Wait until you have met him several times. Wait unti you are over 21 to consider marriage. If your family is not supportive then I would be very cautious if not wary of getting involved too seriously.
Feelings are not always the best indicator of what you should do. FEEL WITH YOUR HEART BUT ACT WITH YOUR HEAD!
Hilton
Hi Mackenzie,
I understand your curiousity and urge to know what he is thinking, however 2 days is not enough time to tell the personality of someone or even what he is thinking. You probably need to know him 6 months or more get to know him properly.
Hilton
Hi Meghan,
It sounds as if something or someone else is dominating his time and mind. It could be he has found new friends and for boys that age friends do take up a great deal of their time. It also could be that he does not want it to look as if you are ruling him.
It best way forward is not to make a big deal over it but give him space and try to find friends and hobbies that can make you life interesting too.
Hilton
Hi
but anywho the other night we wre celebrating our 8 months and we wre playing truth or dare n i told him to tell me something truthful and he said “i funny flirt with my ex-girlfriend” and i asked y ? and he goes because you are so cute when you are jealous of other girls flirting with me.
so my boyfriend and i have been going out for 8 months and out of all my douche bags boyfriends he has been my longest
For me, that really hurt… and what my question is does he realli love me and finds me attractive even though he funny flirts with other girls that he used to have a crush on?
thank you
Hi…. I’ve been together with my boyfriend from 15 january and we love in a hostel together and we always slept together but we never had sex but one night before going to sleep I asked him how much do you love me he said that he loves me how much I love him…….. but now we are not allowed to sleep together because of the hostel wardent its not allowed for two people to sleep together but ws used to sleep secretly but now his room is changed so we aren’t getting the chance to sleep together but…… is he really in love with me n he usually takes care of me soo much he carries me in his back wen I’m tired he takes care of me wen I’m sick..etc but he says I love u vry rarely so does he really love me ??? N how do I make go crazy over without make or lipstick and stuff….???
my boyfriend has been in jail fir the last 8 months before he went we was only together 3 or 4 months i miss him a very lot he is alot younger then me he says he love me an not gonig to leave my side when he gets relised but i cant help but think everyday that goes by is he just usein me my worse thought is that if i wait an he comes out an leaves me it will break my heart i answered yes to alot of questions above , i just dont no wt to do
Hi Amy,
In order to tell if your boyfriend really loves you, you need to look at a host of factors, not just one. However let me just mention that when someone really care for you they will avoid consistently doing things that cause you pain and hurt.
H
Hi Kathy,
Men display their love and commitment in ways that women tend to miss. In other words women want love to be demonstrated in ways they would show love. Women tend to question the motive of men if they don’t see the love signals they want. Based on what you have said it seems that he does love you even if he rarely verbalise it.
If you really want to find out how to make him go crazy over you, you may want to check out “How to be irresistible to men”
Hi Gem,
Usually deep inside we know what the answer is to our dilemma. Sit down and write a list of advantages of waiting and also a list of disadvantages. Then read each one and quietly ask yourself the question: If you had a daughter in your position, what would you tell her to do?
Remember, feel with your heart but act with your head.
Hilton
Me and my boy friend have been together for a year and three months. Things moved really fast and I got pregnant, eight months later are daughter was born still birth. Its been really hard for us lately we argue a lot over little things.Back in December I found text messages to someone else and that he was talking to his ex girlfriend. Now I’m constantly worried as to whether hes telling me the truth and if I truely am the only girl he loves. In my plan for the future hes the man I’m gonna marry there’s so many wonderful times we’ve had I cant ever imagine living without him. I’m really worried that I’m gonna end up pushing him away with my worry or that my fears will come true.
Okay, so I’m 17 and so is my boyfriend, we have been dating since December 21sr 2012, and I’m his first girlfriend..since he’s not supposed to date untill he’s 18..
With that being said…his parents don’t know we’re dating either. His younger sister Knows…and all of our friends know though. And he calls me beautiful and adorkable and all that…but it’s been nearly 4 months and he hasn’t kissed me yet. What do i do?
Hi Sabrina,
I totally understand what you are going through. Your fears can indeed cause you to act in ways that can impact the relationship negatively.
One of the things you need to do is accept that you have no controll over what he does or who he interacts with. Secondly (as hard as it may seem) you need to give him the space and freedom to make his own choices without getting too emotional/clingy about it.
Let him know that you would like to be with him but if he wants to chose someone else you will accept it. That may seem a bit counter-intuitive however giving someone freedom releases them to do the right thing.
I have found this program very helpful in situations like your. Check it out and see “What men secretly want”
Hilton
If I were you I would WAIT and not rush things
H
My boyfriend of 6 years, dosen’t love me
Hi Gisella,
That is very sad to hear and I feel it for you. If you would like to re-unite in love with your boyfriend this guy has 3 steps you can use to rekindle the passionate love you once had. Some people who were in a similar situation to you have found this solution very helpful. Click here to find out how to reunite with your boyfriend.
H
I been with my boyfriend for about ten months now. I don’t know or think he loves me yet. He sees me everyday but I feel that is not enough because he doesn’t want me to meet with his friends or his family. He tells me he like me but does he really. I am so confused. He met my family but not my friends yet. I talked to him to show me that u care about me by giving me hugs and kiss at times he will show me but not enough. Am I asking to much. I give so much affection to my man and I know I love him and like him a lots. What should I do. Should I go on with my life.
ok well i have a boyfriend and we just started dating for like 2 weeks now and he use to hang out with me all the time but now its like i don’t exist and he won’t say hey or nothing and this all started just because there are these things called jelly bracelets and it was black and he wanted me to break it and i didn’t because if i would have broke it then the black means i had to have se* with him i didn’t break it and now apparently i’m invisible and my friends are saying that me and him are just in the middle of a fight but i’m not sure wat should i do
I really cant tell if my boyfriend really loves me because he rides my morning and afternoon bus but so does my Best friend Cassie and me and Cassie are so close I call her my sister but he always says he loves me and always will but he makes Cassie cries sometimes and so I came to the point and came out and told him ” Garrett if u and your stupid little friends don’t leave my sissy alone I will break up with you”! but after I told him that he started tell everyone to shut up! so I felt happy but * 10 minutes earlier* we were talking and long story short he says he loves me and that he always will and blah anyways every morning he sits with me and we hold hands and I told him” just kiss me all ready please” he goes “no baby not here lol” so I was like um k never mind but he sticks up for me people call me ugly and stupid and he punched a kid for me XD but he did the most amazing thing yesterday was are 3 week anniversary and I thought he forgot so I gave him a note saying baby you forgot what’s today he goes no it is are 3 week anniversary I said awwww I love you baby you remembered he said why wouldn’t and he gets me rings and jewelry and I thought they were fake so last time we broke up on jan.25 my birthday were kind of on and off we just stayed together 3 weeks since then but anyways I burnt it all with my friends and I burnt a necklace I thought was fake and diamonds fell out and I thought uh oh and he still doesn’t know about it but he can be a jerk sometimes so what do ya’ll think does Garrett like me?
Hi Jan,
You show love by being affectionate; that seems to be your love language. Note everyone demonstrate their love in the same way, maybe your boyfriend is showing his love in a way that you are not taking account of.
Secondly he may not be ready to introduce you to his family, don’t force it. Relax it is going to be OK, give it some more time. Just let him know that is something that you will like to see happen.
H
Hi Selena,
It is important that you maintain your integrity. If you do not want to do something don’t. He needs to understand that you have your own mind.
Congratulations. If he really loves you he will come back some time. Relax.
H
Well my best friend introduced me to her boyfriend, and we started talking, so when we first started talking we talked a lot about things and yeah… My best friend gave him my number and he calls me beautiful and says “I love you” a lot. We’ve only been texting for 1 day and we were sexting behind her back.. What does this mean? He doesnt say I love you to my best friend as much as he does to me. Please tell me what this means?
Hi Tiffany,
Just to say that this behavior is immoral and lacks integrity. It seems as if he is hitting on you despite the fact he is going out with your best friend. My suggestion is to break it off before things turn nasty, as your friend will find out sooner or later. Delete his sexting pictures and ask him to delete yours. DO NOT continue doing this as it provides concrete evidence that you are involved with him. Your friend may stumble on these pictures and everything will get messy.
Hilton
I literally cried when I read this my boyfriend only does about half these things but I think are only for show this is really hurtful
Hi,
I have a bf that ive been with for a while and he’s been acting weird. He barly talks to me and he doesnt even touch me ( doesnt hold my hand, doesnt hug me). He has been hanging out with his friends to much and flirting with alot of girls. I’m afraid that he still likes his ex or that he is cheating on me. Im scared. Please help
hi
my friend recently started dating this guy named austin and i fell in love with him, and i have a boyfriend too. im so confused right now and dont know what to do. Help?
Hi Evana,
Sometimes our feelings attract us to other people who are not right for you. At this point you need to listen your head and not your heart. You need to to what is right to do and not follow your feelings. Your feelings would land you in a big mess, so do what you know to be right, which is to stick with your current boyfriend and not get involved with your friends BF.
If you have to you may need to cut him off and avoid interacting wiht him
H
Hi Glennda
Sorry to hear about the grief you are experiencing with your BF. You deserve better but only you can make it clear what you are expecting. Although this is challenging to do I would suggest that instead of getting all wound up about it you too start to enjoy yourself with your friends and even start doing things that will improve your life e.g. go to classes, take up sports etc.
Do Not let your life revolve around your boy friend only. This has help lots of people in your situation and you may find it very useful too. Have a look at it here.
so my bf and I have been dating for almost 7 years will be 7 years this sunday. We have 2 kids both boys. ages 4 and 11 months. we have lived together since 2 months of dating. he tells me he loves me n texts me n calls me on his breaks. he kisses me every morning before he leaves n he kisses me as soon as he gets home n before he goes to bed. i recently told him i thought i was fat he said no ur not ur perfect the way u are, i said well obviously u havent taken a good look lately and he said yeah i have and i love the way u look. he wants to snuggle and talk and all that good stuff. However out in public he doesnt want to do PDA. also the biggest problem is his cousin gf is all the time flirting with him, he dont flirt back he just ignores her, she acts like im not even in the room when he is home, she is always asking where he is if he is not home when his cousin and her stop by. the other day she rubbed mud on his leg near his crotch area and looked right at me after she did it and he got up and moved away from her. she is always trying to stand close to him when he is home, when she brings her kid up with her she tells her kid to tell him bye but ignores me the whole time she is there, the other night she came up to borrow a pack of cigs and said well where is D at. his cousin her bf said prob in bed it is 11 at night, she said well go get him up i need at pack of cigs. his cousin said well E (me) can get them. The girl said no D knows where they are at, and his cousin replied so does E (me) considering she smokes too. She replied oh well he would be able to find the faster then her. to that her bf just looked at her funny and then looked at me and said go get her a pack of cigs please. I have pointed these things out to my bf and said she is interested in u and u should tell her to stop it. He always replies im not worried about it becuase I am not interested in her I love u and always will love u.
The problem is it worries and aggrevates me even if it doesnt bother him. I trust him fully, i just dont trust her. What is ur opinion should I trust him or not trust him should i let the stuff with his cousins gf go or what should i do, i am not sure at all how i should go about this. Thank u.
Okay, so here’s the deal. My boyfriend is a wonderful person. I love him so very much. We have been together since DEC 28,2011 a few months after we started dating he asked me to move in with him. I agreed and we have been living together since. Its been almost 2 years now and he still hasn’t told me he loves me and I have not told him that I love him. I’m afraid to be the first to say it. I believe he loves me but I am not 100% sure. He just doesn’t show those kinds of emotions easily. He has never given me a reason to think he doesn’t love me he has just never said it. We have even discussed marriage and children when he gets home. He is military and deployed. That is the only reason I so wish I knew for sure. Its just a little harder not knowing now that he is across the world from me. I just need some advice, if you could tell me what you think I’d appreciate it very much.
And he has also taken me to meet his family and he met mine. He also has two beautiful very young children.
Hi Liz,
I actually don’t think you have a problem with your bf. I think you should have a straight woman to woman talk with her. Let her know that you see and understand clearly what she is doing and you will not tolerate it. If that doesn’t help speak to her bf about her advances on your bf. It may even be that you may have to ask her not to come to your place.
H
Hi Anistasia,
Clearly hearing the words “I love you” means a lot to you. It seems from all his actions that he does love you and you love him too. You are both in a committed relationship so it would not put you at risk to tell him how much you admire and love him. If he does not respond with the same words it would not mean he does not love you – him may find it difficult to say. He will eventually say it when he feels safe enough to do so.
H
What’s up every one, here every one is sharing such knowledge, therefore it’s pleasant to read this website, and
I used to go to see this webpage every day.
Do you think your boyfriend has lost interest in you? At some point or another, every woman feels that they are losing touch with that special man in their life. But how can you avoid this and get back into his thoughts and heart? Though it can sometimes be a very difficult thing to do, but with the help of purityspell@gmail.com, you have nothing to worry about as every thing will work out for you just the way you have ever wanted your relationship to be …Linda
My boyfriend and i have been going out for three months and it has been perfect. At the beginning of our relationship i told him that im not interested in having sex before marriage and if he thinks hes going to get that from me then we shouldnt start a relationship. He said thats not what he wants, he just wants me. But now i feel like he really wants to have sex and because im not giving in i think he is cheating on me. Usually he comes to my house and hangs out with me and watches movies but he hasn’t done that at all this week and today when i asked him if he was coming over he said yes and after about an hour he texted back and said he was sleepy and said sorry baby and didnt come any more after i know that he was sleeping all day. Does he love me? Is he cheating on me? Should i give him some? Should i leave him? or was he really just tired and couldn’t make it? Also it seems like everytime i ask him to come see me he is always doing something else or going somewhere. I really love him and dont know what to say or do
Hello,
I would be really great full if you could help…
I’ve been with my boyfriend, Mick, for almost two years. Around three years before we started dating we had already been together but back then he had anger problems and we would always fight. I broke up with him after deciding enough was enough. Later I started dating again with a different guy. After I broke up with him Mick kept asking me out, talking to me while being very nice, and saying he loved me….
Eventually I said yes and things have been so much better than our first time but there are problems. We have gone through most of our fights and he has apologised for all the threats he said, of course I forgave him and we both tried to put the past behind…. However during a trip I went abroad leaving him behind, there I had another guy, who was part of the group, trying to touch me and get me to be his girlfriend. I had no idea what to do and always tried to reject him nicely until it got to the point that I really needed help, but Mick refused to listen. Every night I was abroad (I was away for over a week) he said he was busy or he had people round. Normally I would be fine but every night and him refusing to give me a time to call or even an answer for help was really confusing me and not something he would usually do. I know he is skint for cash at times so I always offer to call….
When I got back I found out I had a tumor and was going through a really rough time. When I needed him most, when I was scared and in pain before and after the operation he wasn’t there…. He said he was busy… He didnt even text or call….
That really hurt.
Finally a week or so he admitted he made no effort and as usual I forgave him. Eventually I got to tell him about the guy on the trip and Mick was furious with him. But this wasn’t the first time the guy had tried to hit on me, he did so the first time Mick and me were dating, it wasn’t as bad but when I told Mick about him Mick said ‘just send him sexy photos and that will keep him happy’ (this was when me and M first dated)…. Once again I mentioned this to Mick and he said he didn’t take me seriously about the first time….
Sadly I just can’t seem to get the same spark as I did with my first love, I have no romantic feelings towards him now but I just can’t get the same feeling or better. Maybe just Im just selfish and love Mick in a lust form…. He is a great kisser though….
Now I’ve met a guy who people say likes me. I think I like him abit too but I can’t see myself leaving Mick. I’m afraid I won’t do any better… He says he loves me every night (A part from when he is busy), knows everything about me, tells me everything and accepts me for who I am (but when I want to change my appearance or wear makeup he doesn’t like it), and he even planned the future we’ll have together… However I feel like he is embarrassed of me, he refuses to add me on Facebook because he said he doesn’t like it, but he asked me to get it because it would be easier to talk (my mum says he might be hiding something, which isn’t helping and I shouldn’t be supposed if he cheats….) Near the start of our second try another girl called Jade spent the whole day with him holding hands and kissed him. He said he told her to leave after she kissed him but was angry I said he shouldn’t have gone round holding he hand in the first place!…. I just don’t know what I should do anymore… when I need Mick the most, he is never there…
If you could answer soon I would be so relived. My health isn’t in good form once again- due to stress and I am so desperate for an answer.
Thank you for reading. C
Hi Claudia,
I do not fully understand some parts of your message, however I think you are bonded to Mick because of a long history with him. It’s difficult to leave him although you do not have any spark for him anymore and he seems to be hiding something. You also seem to have some other options but you are also having trouble with your health.
I am not able to give a full reply now, however I think it is important to look after your health first apart from any man who may stress and complicate the situation.
Secondly I suggest you go back to your original principles of leaving anyone who do not treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Mick may love you but he also takes yo forgranted.
If you will like some coaching in this area do get in touch via help[at]hiltonsamuel.com
Remember to change the [at] to @
Hilton
Hi Hanna,
It would be a major mistake for you to relent on your moral principle. Although this may seems counter productive the best move at this point is to step back from him and give him space. Try to enjoy yourself with other friends without being too dependent on him.
He will soon get the message that you are a woman of great principle and begin to value and respect you more.
For further help do contact me on help[at}hiltonsamuel.com
H
Im separated with my exhusband not yet annulled ..Now Im on my longdistance relationship i meet my boyfriend in a chatroom for 1 year and 4 months since weve meet in chatroom online tell now theres no changes at all when it comes to communicating each other through skype;magicjack calls and while his on work if he had a breaktime he called me to check on me if im alright,after his worked his already online in skype we talk, eat together and sleep together while on cam to see each othere what were doing or what our habbits while sleeping especially on his offduty our bonding watching movies spend time together thats our daily rotain with my boyfriend for 1 year and a months ..Now his planning to meet me in person im so excited he want me to be his side forever but the first thing to do i need to be free totally to be annualed someday..Theres a time he told me that he will help me to be free to pay together all the expenses for my annualment, but now he changed,he told me that this is my problem and only me can fixed everything without his help.He knew my situation that i dont have work and have no enough money for this..I have lots of question in my mind please help me…
* what should i do now?
* Does my boyfriend love me real?
* Do you think my bofriend have a responsible for this , to help each other when it comes to a problem like my annualment ,if he like me to be free and be together forever?
Now im giving him a space to think everything cuz were just arguing this things..I dont know what to do.. please help me please ..
Hello Hilton,
Whelp here goes nothing!
I have been talking to this guy for 6 months. He lives in Brooklyn and I live in Syracuse, NY. We started dating about 2 months ago. He told me 3 months into us talking that “I would fall in love with him” and he said when I do he will be ready to take all my love. So I did!! We use to talk on the phone for hours and text all day long. Now we don’t due to his job. He told me he’s working so when I come to see him I’ll be able to enjoy myself. He supports me in whatever I am pursing and he always listens to my problems and gives me suggestions. My only issue at this point is knowing if this is all real. He’s not very expressive when it comes to his feelings. He told me in the beginning that he is better at showing me rather than telling me. So when I see him I’m expecting the FIREWORKS because that is how I feel about him. He hasn’t said “I love you” to me first. I was the first to say it to him and I said it 3x after that. I don’t care who says it first, sometimes I feel like I’m chasing him and not the other way around. I know he cares about me because he always encourages me to be a “better me”. When we got into an argument I was ready to end things between us, but he kept explaining himself. NOW, I believe if a man is done with you he will not argue with you because that is a way of showing you he still cares. SO I don’t know, I love him, I just want to make sure THIS is real…..HELP ME H!!!!
Hi Bubbles,
Based on your letter I get the impression that you have not physically met each other. I strongly suggest that you do not get carried away until you have met and spent signicant time together. I also see that you have strong “FIREWORKS” feelings. This can easily lead to getting involved sexually too soon. If I were you I would avoid this as it can seriously impact on the development of a wonderful relationship.
He does sound as if he cares and this can be the start of somethng wonderful for any relationship. I f you need coaching on how you can make this work do get in contact on help[at}hiltonsamuel.com
Talk soon
Hilton
Hi Charyfel,
Actually it is always best to totally, completely and legally separate from your current husband before getting involved with some one else.Your boyfriend has broken his promise to help you and that is bad, however, it is really your responsibility and not his.
Men do go through cycles of love and this may be a time when he may be having second thoughts. However you have done the right thing to give him space to think. when he has processed the situation he will come back. Be patient and give it time. In the mean time focus on your annulment or divorce so that you can be free to proceed with your life.
Hilton
Bubbles!
Thank you Hilton!
Just to touch on your comment about “having sex too soon”. We’ve discussed having sex and he told me that “he would be lying through his teeth if he told me he wouldn’t jump on me when he sees me”. Now, I do have strong feelings for him and I know having sex too soon can alter the course of a potentially wonderful relationship. I guess I’m silly enough to think that he won’t be as interested in me if we don’t. Of course if that happens I saved myself from a broken heart, but I know when we see one another sparks will fly. I’m not sure how I should approach that situation when it arrives.
What do you think Mr.H?
Hi Bubbles
I can’t exactly tell you what to do, however I can say that men respect women who have borders and principles. They also enjoy Things that don’t come too easily. One suggestion is to admit that you too have strong feelings but you only want to share yourself within the context of a strong committed relationship and you would prefer to wait. Most men would respect you more for this, even though they may try and test you.
Be firm but gentle
H
Bubbles,
Thank-you!
I know I am being tested at this point. We’ve spoken about having sex so I know he is probably expecting for it to happen. Most likely we’ll probably end-up being friends because I don’t live there and he has been”waiting” for what will be 8 months, but when I see him it will be our FIRST real encounter with one another. I want to feel him out before we take that next step. I have only been with one guy (sexually) so as you can see it takes a lot for me to take that next step. I believe the anticipation, FIREWORK emotions play a factor because I have built-up emotions, but I know if he lived here I wouldn’t have sex with him. So the “long distance” relationship will probably become problematic. He always tells me he’s working. For example, he told me this past Friday that he does not have to work this weekend and when we got off the phone Friday he told me he would call me on Saturday… he never called me or text me at all. Now it’s Sunday and I called him earlier and he didn’t answer and I text him no reply. So I don’t want to have sex with him and he keeps up this pattern of inconsistency. I am starting to reconsider a lot of things. I don’t feel like his girlfriend, I feel like a person he’s maintaining. Huh!!!
I dated this guy for about 1 month then I broke up with him. I felt like he didn’t really like me. Plus we never hung out, it was like we weren’t even dating. After about 3 months of continusly talking and arguing, we are dating again. We’ve been dating for 1 month. At first, we both told each other we loved each other continusly. We hung out all the time. It was great. But then summer came and there’s no longer time for me. Weird right? Instead, he choices to spend his day fishing with friends or working. ( I understand that he has to work.) But shouldn’t I be invited to go fishing? He knows I like to fish. We’re back to the no hanging out. It’s like he’s scared to be around me or maybe he’s nervous. But he shouldn’t be. Everytime I try to talk to him about it, it ends up in arguing. I love him with all my heart and I don’t want to lose him again. What do I do?
Hiya, my boyfriend has a career in dentistry and is exteremly busy he goes gym and has a really religious muslim family, he spends most of his time at the gym or worki g but trys his hardest to see me as much as he can, weve been dating over a year, and he messages me all the time and helps me with my family problems and with career advice also budgeting and everything our sex is great, we have fun together he cuddles me and kisses me and tells me noone else can have me and im so pretty. We have our downs because im extremely emotional wich annoys him alot. Does he love me or should i move on
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost two year. Hes a seeer guy. Very nice and loving. Hes not so romantic either and we don’t really go out. We more just hang out at my house. We talk about getting married and what well name out kids see I’m only 19 and he’s 20. I know we r young. Its our first serious relationship andhhe’s always telling me all this things about the future and including me in in….one thing when he started dating he instantly wanted to meet my parent. I no way did I had ever planned on him meeting them but I thought it was a good idea. As for me I still haven’t met his parents
when I bring it up he just says yes that one day or hell be like I do want u to meet them but he doeant wanna take me bcus his parents r those type of people that like to talk about everyone. My bf had met kost of my famiy. Hes gone to family parties birthdays and all that but when he has a family thing I’m never invited and then he brings up the words “u should had been there babe” and it brakes my heart. We once were at the store and see his brother, he tried hiding from him and stepped a bit awat from me. What do do? Is it normal for guys to be like this
I am really worried. My boyfriend and I are a relatively new couple, but we seem to be great and a power couple
the only problem is that the term is almost over and we won’t see each other much over holiday… I am going to try my hardest to keep us alive, but that’s not the issue. Before we started dating, he had mentioned to me as a friend that he liked his neighbor’s cousin. I am pretty sure that it was a cover up to hide that he liked me, but I am worried because the cousin is visiting over holiday and she will be next door all break and I probably will not see him as much. I try totrust him, but its really hard because I am unwillingly jealous. How can I make sure he stays true, or discreetly tell him to stay away from her?
Hi Bubbles,
Yes long distance relationship can be very difficult because you are not there to know what the person is doing. You can only guess and your guesses may be right or wrong.
You need to tell him how you are feeling and why you have these feelings.
H
Emily,
It does seem as though that he has a problem with you meeting his family. I am not sure why he may be doing this, usually some people are not very convinced about their relationship so they avoid introducing their partner to thier family.
H
Jade
It does seem as though he loves you.
H
Hi Mere,
I understand that you want to spend time with him, but arguing will only push him further away. Men sometimes go through cycles of love.
Ask him to suggest times you can be together rather than demanding it. Paradoxically giving people space can increase their capacity to love you more.
I would recommend you check out Micheal’s work on how to capture a man’s heart
H
Okay so ive been dating ths guy for a little over a month and I really have real feelings for him. But the other night on Monday (Memorial Day) there was this other girl there. I couldnt go but today I came to my bestfriends house and her brother was talking about the party and saying that my boyfriend admitted to likeing that pther girl… But his bestfriend said otherwise and refused it. What dp I do?
Me and my boyfriend have been dating almost 4 months now and we’ve kissed twice. Nothing big, sweet or spectacular…. Just kiss and me pull back. I love him and he knows that. He does all of the things mentioned above, (yes, ALL twelve) and I keep being a chicken and backing away at the last second. Anything you can do to help me not be so shy Hilton?
Hi Halogirl,
While it is ideal that your boyfirend has only eyes for you, there will be times he will see and maybe like other pretty girls, even married men see other attractive women. As long as he doesn’t act on his attraction and cheat on you it is OK. I know you may feel a but threatened but don’t over react as it may drive him away and into the other girls arms.
Hilton
Hi Soshy,
You seem young and inexperienced and this may be part of problem. Some people shy away because they have had bad experiences in the past. What ever the reason it is best to have a discussion with him about your true feelings and reasons. |If he loves you he will understand and be patient with you.
Hilton
The past two years I have been involved with a boy who sadly, does not live in the same state as me. When we first met, he had a girlfriend and I was alright with that since of course, we were just friends. After a while, him and his girlfriend broke up and I was there to comfort him. Along the few months of me being there and comforting him, just as a friend, he confessed he had feelings for me. In the moment I wasn’t so sure if I felt the same about him but after a while of getting to actually know each other, I fell for him. I mean, I really, really, fell hard for him. But at some point, a friend of mine got ahold of his number and started texting him. At first, I thought they were just having nice friendly conversations until one day, my friend told me that she and my “lover” had sent some dirty messages between eachother and she even sent a few dirty photos; he didn’t send any photos (that I know of). I was furious of course but what hurt me was that she told her exactly, “Lets just keep this between us, alright? Don’t tell Matti.” I was hurt and heart broken and I even distant myself away from him for a while. I confronted him about it and he did admit to it, which I thought saved me the time of calling him a liar if he had denied. It’s been a while and I’ve pushed the whole thing behind us and currently now we are in somewhat of a relationship. The only thing though, could he be sending dirty messages and flirting with other girls whom I don’t know? I mean, he tells me he loves me and what not and of course, I believe it. But just that incident causes me to believe that I may not be the only one. Any advice? Can I call him a cheater or call him my lover?
Hi Matti,
When your trust is betrayed it is hard to trust fully again. You will always have doubts and suspicions in your mind. He has to earn your trust this time. He may need to be totally transparent with you by showing you his texts, emails, facebook accounts etc. If he does that after a while your confidence in him will come back again.
Hilton
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