How can you tell if you boyfriend is really into you? Is he playing games, messing around, taking you for a ride or does he really genuinely love you?
Here are 12 ways to tell if your boyfriend really loves you or is “just not into you”:
- He would warmly, admiringly and longingly look into your eyes, face and body from time to time.
- He would go out of his way to do little things to bring a smile on your face and make you feel happy (anything from sticking a note in your bag, buying a funny little toy or turning up on your door steps when you least expect him to).
- He would be always talking about you to his friends and family or anyone who would care to listen. Interestingly he would make you to be larger than life — Gods gift to the earth. These people will mention that they have heard about you when they meet you.
- He would want to introduce you and show you off to his friends, family and the whole world — you would be like his little trophy.
- He would always want to be with you or around you and hardly want to leave when its time for him to go.
- He hates it when people talk negatively about you and would defend you to the point of physically fighting to defend your reputation (hopefully it never comes to this. Don’t always depend on this as a proof of love).
- He avoids hurting you and if he unwittingly hurts you he apologises profusely and attempt never to let it happen again.
- Comments on how lucky he is to get a girl like you in his life.
- Compliments the way you look, the things you do and the skill/talents you display.
- Wants the best for you and encourages you to grow and develop so that you can become the best you can be.
- He is not afraid to challenge you when you are wrong or doing something that isn’t right.
- He calls, text, IM and want to meeting up with you as regularly as he can.
Ps. I just remember a couple more
- He wants know (in direct and discreet ways) what you think about him, how he looks and what he does.
- He seeks your advice and suggestions on things he is doing and decisions he wants to make.
- He takes your advice/suggestions and implements them.
- He is polite to your friends and respects your parents.
by the way, he loves when I’m with his friends and stuff, and is really sweet with me around them and always tell me I’m beautiful and is very lucky to have me, but with his parents… is different…
Hi Suprita,
The problems you have now will not go away with marriage they will only become worst. You want to evaluate if you want to be in a relationship where you needs are not being met
H
Hi Cheryl
The person you are talking seems very unsure about exactly what he wants. It appears he has a crush on your best friend. It means that you are on very rocky romantic grounds as he can leave any time.
H
Hey Hilton!
I have a question that has recently come up, in terms of my relationship. My boyfriend and I are both Freshmen in college, he’s nineteen, I’m eighteen (Nineteen tomorrow for me!) and have been dating a little over four months. I must admit, I am still shocked on a daily basis that actually went after me. But he went out of his way to meet me. He was supposed to end up at an Ivy League (Couldn’t for money reasons) so he took a full ride at the college we attend. I wasn’t supposed to get into this college, I’m an out of state student, but I had a gut feeling I needed to be there. By accident, I was accepted (Long story) and within a week of being on campus, I met my boyfriend. I love him, so so much. He’s had many relationships, as have I, and we’ve never felt this way but either of the people we’ve dating. We were also each others ‘first’ so there is a huge connection. I can see myself marrying this guy (won’t jump to conclusions, though, because anything can happen!). However, he said something last night that I didn’t really understand. Before I mention it, we have talked about what we plan to do in the future. Not WITH each other, but in general. What kind of parents we’d want to be, ideal time he’d or I would want to settle down, etc. But always, “I want to have three kids.’ not ‘We should have three kids” if you get what I mean? Anyway, last night we were laying down with each other, and we were talking about typical last names. I told him how fun his last name is to say (It really is! lol) and he just kind of looked down, biting on his lip, and so on. I asked him what he was thinking (I always ask him) and he wouldn’t tell me at first, because he said, “I don’t want to to feel uncomfortable, or creeped out.’ I said I wouldn’t, to which he somewhat reluctently replied “I was seeing how your name sounded with my last name on the end, and if it has a ring to it.” I kind of stared, curious, to which he said, “I know, creepy…” looking down. But I smiled, said, “Not at all” and gave him a quick kiss, and a bright smile was on his place. What does he mean by this? Any advice? Any help would be great:)
Okay so me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 6months and theirs this girl who happened to be a friend but I feel like shea much more he thinks I don’t trust him but in fact ilove him with all my heart he has made it clear he doesn’t trust me either but he complains and says I’m always arguing I just feel like he’s not acting the same I want to be prioritized.. is that alittle too much ? His parents like me but he definitely keeps me away from everything why? Is he ashamed of me ? When we are alone he makes me feel special and puts a smile on my face and lets me know I’m the only girl he wants, does he love me ?
so i have two casses here ones mine and the other is my friend. well to start with, my friend, she likes this guy but she doesnt know if he likes her. shes kinda confused about him cause he always smiling at her, whatching her kinda and hes always always teasing her, but when we, as in me n her other friends, ask if he liked her, he would say, like today, “havent we gone through this nine times! its noooooooooooooo!” but as he said this his face was kinda turning pink n he was sming like crazy. so does he like her or is he just whatever? btw just so you know i dont realy think so but im not the expert, so does he or doesnt he?
and as for mine, mine is complicated because we live far apart n when i say far apart i mean half way around the world type. anyway i just wanted to know ur opinion on a question. well my question is if a guy is 5 years older then the girl n he lives half way aroung the word do u think it will work out n if so how young is too young for a girl to be dating an 18 yearold?
thanks
My bofriend and I are going to six months in couple of days, but I am not sure what to do with him. I truly love him and i always tell him that, but the sad thing is that he never does anything for me. It seems like i am the boyfriend. Every month i am the one who plans something for every month togther, I have to go visit him he never comes over to my place, i was gone for a for a week and it never seem he missed (he told he did),before he met me he was with girl she is a complete phsyco(no joke) i told him i dont want him to talk to her and he did behind my back three times but i found out through his phone and i warned him about already, and after that he said he needed space and i told him its time to breakup, but he didn’t want to and i know he loves me, but i dont know what to do? any advice?
He Alejandra,
I can’t exactly say what is going on in his head, however it seems as though he is not ready to make this move. If it is that important to you tell what it means to you and how it will make you feel and leave it for a while. Pressuring him would only make him more resistant. If after a period of 3 months he hasn’t done it then withdraw from the relationship
H
Jmelly,
Are you saying that he only makes you feel special privately? If so that is a red flag. However if he says you are complaining and arguing too much be aware that this can push him away.
It seems that your insecurity is forcing you to try and get some sort of firm commitment from him. Sometimes it is best to state your desire and simply step back.
H
Xuzy,
For your friend its too early to say whether or not he likes her, maybe he does have and inclination towards her and have not fully made up his mind so he will not commit by answering a direct question about it.
About your other question: Long distance relationships are very complicated and hard to maintain. I take it that you are 13, I would recommend that you wait until the legal age for driving i.e. 16/17 years before you start thinking about serious relationships
HS
Hi CM…
It is clear to me that you are carrying the relationship. If you continue this relationship you will always be the one who is shouldering the weight of it. He seems quite happy for you to do so.
I would clearly outline what I would expect for a boyfriend to be doing and if he doesn’t do them in the next 4-6 weeks I would be looking for someone else who can equally give me the love I deserve.
H
me and my boyfriend have been together for about three years now he had went to a bar on his 21 and i wasnt 21 yet so i let him go with his friends i waited for him all night and no show come to find out he went to a strip club behind my back and talked to some chic at the bar but supposably didnt do anything. but he broke up with me i think its cause he wanted to mess with other girls. we have been on and off ever since . he says he loves me but idk anymore. we fight all the time now because i dont trust him anymore and when i try he messes it up so how can i tell if he really loves me
me and my bf have been going out since 12 july 2012 and we never kissed,huged or hold hand but we are close he help me with work and asks if im ok a i like that about him and we are in 2 lessons together but how should i say im ready forr the next step ? and does he really love me
p.s we talk on computer and he says im beautiful and the only girl he loves
Tiff,
Yep maybe he is not too sure what he wants. The best thing is to let him loose; set him free; let him make up his mind even if you really want him. If you try to cling onto him it will only make matters worst.
Hilton
Kb,
Rather then rushing things I would let them develop at its only natural pace. It can backfire if you force it.
H
i have and how do i ask him on a date again and is dating easier the second time
Hey
I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and I’m his first kiss and girlfriend . The first 3 months were great but he’s really shy and doesn’t talk 2 me , hardly kisses me and doesn’t hug me properly .I love him more than anything and I don’t know what to do 🙁 x
kb,
Don’t ask him out on a formal date just invite him to come along to group activities with ohter people or hobbies that you are involved with e.g. skating, tennis etc. That way you will have fun without the pressure of having to impress each other.
h
Maria,
This may be not what you want to hear but if he really wants to he will. Maybe you need to have other options available to you.
H
Hi . I’m in a long distance realationship. I’ve been with my bf for about 3 months. We’ve never met in person but we are very much in love. U asked him if he wanted to make this work&he said yes. Ik everyone says long distance realationships don’t last but I believe mine will. Anyways I wanted to know how would Ik other then him saying he loves me,how can he prove it in another way& is it bad if he hasn’t yet?
;-( i cn do nythn fr him
my boyfriend does the fallowings
*kisses me every chance he gets
*holds me in his arms
*tells me he loves me
but i dont like to answer to love because i have no idea what it means can you please tell me what love is
Hi Alex,
Love is a very complex phenomenon. However here is a simplistic explanation.
Love is both a strong emotion of attraction and principle of caring and wanting to be cared for by the object of your love.
Hilton
i really love my boyfriend but for the last few weeks he has been too busy,he has no time to text me. at times he comes online on whatsapp but still doesnt reply. i dont call him much. at time he texts me and tell he loves me and all. he says that i am really sweet and deserve much better. he holds my hands when we meet. i dont know whether he loves me or not. he has always been loyal in his relationships. i just love him alot and really cant stay without him. does he love me? it has been only 2 months we went in a relationship. i just pray that he is not faking it and really loves me. 🙁
I know this is where girls would comment and write but I have a question if a girl likes me over and over like for instance she broke up with her boyfriend liked me and I liked her but I did not go out with her and I let my friend re go out with her but anyway I really like her and it kills me that every time she likes another guy and gets over him she likes mn.Now she is going out with another one of my friends and I can’t take I have already asked her out and she said no. There is another twist she thinks I am hot is she not weird or what?
thank you Hilton it really helped
Hi , my boyfriend and I have been dating for 7months now,at first it was real love,I could tell he loved me with d way he always looks @me,but when I offend him he suddenly gets cold towards me,its a long distance relationship and we talk via ims and skype… We got really close and then I thought it wud b wise for me to tell him about ma past (no of guys I have dated) he told me he understood,bt since then he’s been treating me real cold,and he doesn’t want to break up with me…… I am confused cos I don’t kw where I stand with him cos he treats me like just a friend…..he does a few of d above you mentioned,bt he doesn’t ask for my advice or opinion. Pls help…is he going tru a phase or I should give him space? What if he doesn’t want me any more?
So my bf jesse hardly ever text Me back and when he does he says his phone was dead and ever once in a while he txt Me saying it was dead I try to talk to hima min later and he never answers but today we where txting asking what we wanted for christmas i told him I already got what I asked for wich was him he said he feels the same way and he told Me he loves Me but the only time we talk is in our math class and he flirts none stop but does he really love Me or does he love the idea of loving Me
My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months. We do everything together and we have such a good time. Sure he texts girls and is a bit secretive but he acts like he only loves me. And then last night we were hanging out with friends, got a little drunk and the words “I’m leaving you.” left his mouth. He took it back right after he said it but.. Since he even said it at all.. Does that mean he really wants to break up?
Also: I thought a few more details would help you give me some advice about my current situation.
When him and I are together, we sometimes talk about our futures. Getting married, kids, future jobs.. And those plans included each other. We kiss a lot, hold hands, go everywhere together.. We say, “I love you.” a lot and it seems like he is really happy with me.
So I am really confused as to why he said what he said. Sure, he talks to other girls on his phone through texting (he is a bit of a flirt), but he assures me that I am the only one for him.
Looking forward to your reply 🙂 – Cadi
I’ve been dating this amazing guy named James & I told him that I was starting to fall in love with him & he told me that it takes him a while to say it back but a few days later he told me he loved me. He shows all the signs that he loves me but he does stuff to help his exes out and I get upset but I don’t show it. He knows all about my past sometimes I just don’t know
Madly in love & confused
So I read this article to see if my boyfriend was still into me of loves me. We’ve been together since 11.11.11 he asked me very sweetly over the phone to be his “girl” I said yes because I really liked him not to long after he didn’t talk to me for about a month saying his cell phone had been shut off because he lost his job. So from like Jan of ’12 to feb ’12 I barely heard from him til the first of Feb when he called me stating he was homeless and me being me invited him to live with me even though he was jobless saying hed have to look for a job and the such. Its now December 31 and he still hasn’t got a job and Im six months pregnant and we’ve only gone out together once the whole time we’ve been together (We started with hanging out and stuff never really dated). Our sex lifes has slowed way down even before I got pregnant we barely are ever in the same room I dont ever see him looking for a job. I believe this article has given me the balls so to say to dump him. Cross your fingers and wish me luck. Im tired of being used as a atm because Ive been to nice and bought him everythings hes needed pretty much since hes been here.
me and my bf have known each other since i was 6 and he was 5 weve only been dating 10 weeks and does everything above and we love each other like no other
okay me and my bf were talking about having sex in the near future and would i get in trouble if im fixing to be 18 and him 17 and he gets me pregnant would it be bad
Hey Hilton, I could really use some help.
I’ve been with my boyfriend since August 6th 2012 and even though it’s only been 5 months, I honestly think that he’s the one that I am meant to spend my life with. He has told me time and time again that I mean everything to him, and that I’m the one that he’s going to marry and grow old with. So you can imagine that I am terrified to lose him. Which is why this is so difficult.
We were talking for many months before we actually made it offical. And during the time that we were talking, he put up on facebook the fact that he had started dating another girl. And while he was with this other girl, he continued to call me ‘babe’ and tell me how beautiful I am and was acting like he was still single. So now that we are dating I’m afraid that he might be doing that again, but this time the table is turned.
I’ve caught him flirting with other girls and I am really scared that maybe he’s cheating on me. I’ve asked him about it but he always comes up with a convienent story and an excuse. I never press it because I don’t want it to break us apart. We live an hour from eachother so I’m only able to see him once a week, and every time that we do see eachother, I always have to go to him because he always has some reason that he can’t (it seems like he doesn’t want to make the effort.)
Since we don’t live in the same place, I have no evidence of what he’s doing during the week and who exactly he’s doing it with.
I don’t know what to do. I want so desperately to believe him and stay with him for the rest of my life. But how am I supposed to do that if I can’t trust him?
Should I trust him?
my boyfriend and i have been together for more than a year now & he does all those things on the list, but it seems like he still doesnt want to hang with me as much as he use to,
i mean, i dont understand what changed i had such a good time,
& things are kinda different now,
i dont get whats going on between me and him,
he says he loves me all the time,
but he doesnt show it as much as he use too.
i dont know, i just dont get love.
i dont really know what happened but im just going with it anyway
is that a bad thing ?
Hi,
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and I’m still wondering if he really loves me…from the steps written above he doesn’t really do any of them, I have a friend who I’ve asked if he talks about me and he’s told me that he doesn’t really. My bf never asks to hang out or never really asks me out at all, its always me who invits him over or makes the efforts to see him…he doesn’t really do little things to make me happy, I’ve givin hints about things I would like him to do more offten and he never really seems to catch on. When were together he codles me and he’s sweet telling me he doesn’t want to loose me but I’m not sure that’s reallyy enough. When he does come over he seems to only want one “thing” from me and once that’s done he shows me some songs or wants to go watch tv…I’m scared he’s using me. But I love him and I want to make this work.
Can anyone give me some advice please?? Thank you
boys are like elastick bands they like to be upclose and have everything to do with you and stands up with for you and does almost everything together and is so scared of loosing you he does everything with you at school at your house and basically every where you go he goes with then as you get futher into the relationship he starts getting futher apart until finally he streches out so far that he cant stand it and then snaps back so hard you dont know what happened you thought that you were breaking up and then turn all confused and then find out that you love the person and learn that you have your diffrences and but you love that person and if he is cheating on you, you dont deserve him and he doesnt deserve you. So that is what you learn by what i have said will inspire you to do something about your boyfriend cheating on you thank you and good bye love becca
MY BOYFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT A YEAR, BUT I’M STILL FINDING IT HARD TO TURST HIM.HE SPENTS MOST OF HIS FREE TIME HOME, BUT SOME TIMES GOES OUT WITHOUT TELLING ME ON HIS DAY OFF WHILE I’M AT WORK, AND WHEN I CALL HIM, HE WILL TELL ME HS’S HOME, BUT AT TIMES I’LL LEAVE WORK ONLY TO FINE OUT THAT HE’S NOT HOME. AND WHEN I TRY TO ASK HIM, HE WILL GET MAD,SAYING THAT I WANT TO CONTROLL HIM, THAT HE NEEDS SOME TO BE WITR HIS FRIENDS , BUT I JUST DON’T KNOW IF HE’S CHEATING ON ME OR NOT.
Sweety lemi tel u somthing iF that boy realy loved you then he would do anything to jus be with you..I had the same problem with my ex..you deserve better than that CUNT HIS STuPid and he will soon realise wat he has lost and it will be too late..evry girl deserves a boy who will treat her like the queen she is..and wen he realises that he has lost u he is going to try and do everything to get u bacK AND YOU must neva take him bak As much as u LOve him because he will do the same thing over and over again…I. Don’t know who u are sweety but I Can tell u u deserve better
I me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and a half and he has lies a few times recent lie is his ex from years ago who cheated on him with a lot of men got in contact and said she still loved him and she wants him back but he said he does not love her he loves me and we have been through to much for her to try and ruin our relationship but apparently she tried to split him and his other ex up should i be worried. When i say we have been through a lot i mean because hes 27 am 17 and we went through so much and loads of people trying to aplit us up we are moving into our longterm house in two weeks is this the right decision.
Hi Priyanka,
I am not sure what your bf is thinking but men do go through cycles of intense attraction and then backing off because they either start second guessing or have what I call lover’s remorse – much like consumer’s remorse.
The thing to do is not to panick but keep calm and give him space. As much as you love him do not become desperate and clingy as this will drive him away even more
H
Hi Nick,
What you are describing sounds like a immature love where teenagers really like someone but pretend not to because they do not want to show weakness or become vulnerable.
H
Hi Ella,
Yes men can be really confusing. He is probably trying to sort through his feelings as what you shared was not the image he had in head about you. However once he gets his mind around it he would probably love you more for your honesty.
Just to say, don’t be too quick to share the deep secrets in a relationship because if you do this prematurely you can scare someone off. Wait untill you feel you can really trust someone with your feelings
H
Yvonne,
If I were you I would not be waiting around for his text. If he doesn’t text leave it and get with enjoying your life and other friends. If he is really interested he will come around.
H
Cadi
I don’t know if he was really drunk or he got drunk so that he can sum up the courage to tell you what he he has in his mind. You will have to look at ohter signal e.g. his attitude, actions and words towards you to make up your mind
H
Cadi,
When men include you in their future and introduce you to their friends and family he is really into you.
H
Jessica,
You sound a bit possessive and jealous, you would need to be careful as these can drive men away
H
Hi Shelby,
Personally I say sex while tempting can really confuse people who care for each other. I definitely would not recommend it at this point as it will change the dynamics of the relationship. There are lots of other ways to demonstrate care and love. If you do still decide to go ahead with having sex PROTECT yourself.
H
Hi Lovetee,
This is a big red flag. There is nothing wrong with being with friends however lying is definitely not a good way to build trust. You have to decide if this is something you can live with or if it is a deal breaker for you
H