Don’t judge a man purely by the way he looks: Love lessons from the success of Susan Boyle.

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I have been thinking about Susan Boyle again. By now you may have watched the YouTube video of frumpy looking plain Jane (Susan Boyle) who shocked the world with the charm and beauty of her voice. If you haven’t then take a look at this. I think we can learn how to find the gem of a man we are looking for by learning from this wonderful story.

Why was she such a shock – and hit sensation?

Well we all – myself including – didn’t expect such quality from such a person; a person of that age; a person of that type of looks.

There is a saying that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover. But we do, don’t we? Advertisers know this and they spend thousands – if not millions – on producing things that are shiny and glossy for us to buy. The fashion and beauty industry is a billion dollar/pound industry. It is based purely on making us look a certain way so we can appeal to the opposite sex. So we are indeed conditioned to make certain initially judgement by what we see. Susan Bolye, by her looks didn’t fit the bill of a singing sensation.

I am beginning to realise that many people have held themselves in the prison of singlehood because they want a certain type of looks or presentation from their prospective suitor. Anyone who does not fit the bill is immediately rejected and not given a second chance.

Like Boyle how many hidden gems may have been overlooked, pass by, ignored or even cast off because we reacted by what we initially saw.

I am not saying you should abandon your initial reaction to people. That will be almost impossible, because that is how we are designed. However I think we should force ourselves to look beyond the initial reactions and give everyone a chance to prove themselves – you never know when you will unearth a diamond in the rough.

So think about all the prospective suitors who have approached you, engage them in some sort of interaction and genuinely get to know them as human beings.

A teacher friend of mine once told me she rejected a guy because at the time he was a builder and the letter he wrote to her had spelling errors. However years later when she turned 45 and was still single she realized how shallow that decision was. His literacy skills could be improved and his trade is one that will always be in demand. He is now married with a great family? She judged the book by its cover and lost. Are you missing great opportunities because you are judging the book by the cover?

Susan Boyle said it best at the end of one interview. When asked what she thought about people who wrote her off because of how she looked, she said they are now nice to her. Don’t wait until the world discovers the gem in a possible suitor, investigate it now and perhaps be the one to win the hidden gem.

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