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How to tell someone you are not interested in them

Dating advice for women:

7 ways to tell a guy you are not interested in him

How do you tell a guy you are not interested in him especially if he is your friend?

This is the dilemma Shirley (and many other women) find themselves in. Tony has been her friend for over 2 years now. She never suspected he had romantic interest in her. She never even thought of him in that way. Yesterday shocked her. Somebody joked about how they looked like a couple and later he admitted that he has given it a lot of thought and really want the relationship to go further.

Now she is in a twist. She is actually interested in Ben, not Tony. Ben has even been showing interest and their relation shows a lot of promise. She has no feeling or romantic inclinations for Tony; he is just a very good friend.

A friend to talk to; share ideas; debate and fix the world with. How can she tell him she is not interested in him?

Here are some ideas on how you can do this.

1.       Do not make a knee jerk response. Tell the person you can’t give an immediate response, but you will get back to them with a week/month (or a specified amount of time). Give yourself some space to think it through.

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2.       Apart from mulling it around in your head, talk to not only your friend but also parents or another trusted mature/older person. They can sometimes help to see aspects the issue that you have not considered.

3.       Be clear in your mind about your feelings and intentions. You may think that you are not interested but does this person have qualities that would make a good husband, father, provider, protector and companion. Do not confuse feelings/chemistry with what makes good and lasting relationships.

4.       Once you have come to a conclusion, decide on a time and place to talk to the person.

5.       Thank the person for showing interest in you. Let them know that it makes you feel valued, however you do not feel the same way or that you have other interests.

6.       The person will always want to know why. Explain that life do not always create a situation that everyone has the same and reciprocal interest. And this is one of the cases.

7.       What happens if the person continues to harass and push? Explain that you do not appreciate it and if they continue you will have to cut them off. Do exactly that. Do not take their calls. Ignore them if you meet and if you have to talk to them keep the conversation to the bare minimum

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