Here are 10 signs of a happy, robust and healthy relationship.
Does your relationship have any of them?
- In strong relationships couples spend a lot of time together.
- People, who have a happy robust relationship, love to spend time with each other. They have fun just being together and doing things together. In fact if you remember the early days when you were in the first flush of relationship you hardly wanted to be apart. You would spend hours together which would feel like minutes. Your telephone bill would be sky high because of the time you dedicated to speaking to each other in the night. Willard Harley says that you need at least 15 hours a week maintain a strong healthy relationship.
- Make each other feel good. These are the people that love guru John Gottman calls validators. They listen to each other, validate each other and pick the fights they want to get involve with.
- “When couples whose marriages are stable over time talk about an area of contention or disagreement, their discussions have five times as many positive comments or expressions as negative. In couples who eventually headed to divorce, ratio of positive-to-negative was 0.8 to 1,” says psychologist John Gottman, PhD,
- Laughter and humour
- One of the great things I love about my wife Kimone is that even if we have a massive blow out, if I can just get her to crack a smile then the tension between us will melt. Relationships where you can laugh even in the mist of tension tend to be happier and last longer. Laughter indeed is a romantic medicine and tonic.
“When the masters of marriage are talking about something important, they may be arguing, but they are also laughing and teasing and there are signs of affection because they have made emotional connections,” John Gottman.
- A sensitive conscience. This is being sensitive to the feeling of the other person. Willard Harley who has counselled thousand of couples say that everything you do affects your partner even if he/she doesn’t know about it. Happy couples avoid hurting each other and promptly try to makeup if they do.
- Happy couples are in tune with each other to the point that sometimes they can finish each other’s sentences. They can sense what something is wrong or not right with the other person even without him/her verbalizing it.
- You clearly state your feelings. You say what makes you happy and you clearly indicate what angers, upsets, worries you and indicate what your partner can do to improve the situation. No mind reading games.
- Maintain individuality. Happy couples have a lot of fun together, they are in tune with each other but they still have their own individuality. They are not enmeshed. They have their own life, friends and even interests.
- Support each other’s interest even if they are different. Happy couples build, support and help the other person achieve goals, hopes, dreams and aspiration.
- In strong healthy relationship the couples enjoy sex. It is not a forced chore but a happy engaging and fun activity.
- Name calling. These couples make up interesting and fun romantic names to call each other. They do avoid calling each other derogatory names even when agree or upset.