I remember Beverly, a former client of mine telling me that men seem to scared of her. She didn’t know how to get men to approach her.

“They don’t approach me,” she said with a distant look in her eyes.

“Quite frankly though, I think that a man who doesn’t have the guts to approach me isn’t of any worth. I like bold men,” she added. Actually I think she was trying to rationalize for the problem she was having.

In delving more into the issue I found that Beverly was quite aware that she has a rather serious countenance, something that can put people off, even though she was one of the sweetest girls I have met.

“But that’s the way God made me I can’t change that,” she said emphatically. As tactfully as I could I helped her to realize that there are indeed ways we can behave and actions we can take to improve, what I call, your “A.Q” (approachability quotient). Now Beverly is being regularly approached by all sorts of men. Here are 4 simple ways to improve your A.Q

1. Wear a pleasant countenance
   1. Some people, like Beverly, claim they can’t change their countenance, but you indeed can. Your posture and facial expression are usually a reflection of the things that occupy our minds. Has anyone ever said to “you look worried/down/sad,” or “you are looking happy, your face is glowing.” This is because our facial and body muscles respond and react subconsciously to what we are dwelling on in our minds.
   2. If you find yourself absorbed by alot of worrying thoughts and pressure, your face and body will reflect it. Practice changing these thoughts and think of a funny event/movie/person. Reflect on times when you did something great which made you feel wonderful. If you practice these long enough you will find that without effort your face and features will look relaxed and inviting.
2. Smile – you are never fully dressed until you smile
   1. A smile puts people at ease: it says that you are a friend and not a foe.
   2. A smile is inviting – gives men a cue that they will not be rejected; I will welcome a conversation with you.
3. Treat everyone you meet with grace and kindness. This is not only a very attractive quality it also magnetize people (men) to you. The way you treat and respond to other people to a large extent determines if and how people (men) approach you. If you are brash and caustic to people who you think are not in your league, then other people and men in particular will think that you are not a nice person to approach and get to know. Even the way you treat down-and-outs (poor, beggars, homeless) count in how people view you. Without you realizing it people are always evaluating you and checking you out.
4. Be available. This is a huge mistake I see girls making all the time.  They always go out in groups and packs.  While that is not a problem, they unconsciously stick only to the pack while they are out.  Women who travel in packs and groups are less likely to be approached. Men find it’s easier to approach a girl on her own than with a group of friends. If he is rejected then he won’t have to feel embarrassed in front of all her friends.
   1. If you go out with your friends always try to spend some time on your own, a man may just want such a moment to approach you.
5. Talk to men. This does not mean you should make romantic advances on men, far from it. It means that as a general rule to you should be friendly to everyone you meet. Don’t be afraid to say “hi/hello/how are you?” to anyone and everyone. This may just be the excuse a shy guy is looking to chat with you. When you do this to everyone (men, women, children) men will see you as a friendly, nice and approachable person.

Is a she a woman who has tons of men blazing a trail to her door? Not really. I think Romy Miller says it best.

“A man magnet is a chick who gets the man she wants.”

Romy has actually written an excellent book about the subject “Man Magnet: How to be the best women you can be in order to get the best man”

In it she gives some powerful secrets in the second third chapter.

1.       She is confident, funny and takes care of herself

2.       She acts like a woman.

While the first point is easy to grasp, many women don’t realize that power of second point.

How do you act like a woman? Simple, first recognize that you don’t have to buy certain clothes, get a boob job or change your personality. Your ‘womanliness’ or femininity is inside of you. God made you that way.

“God gave you everything you need in order to attract the opposite sex,” Romy says.

So begin to accept and indulge your feminine qualities, and see how men will respond in ways that will amaze you.