Brown beating Rihana: 4 lessons we should learn from Rihana Brown saga

Earlier this year a supposedly “squeaky clean” up and coming R&B artist Chris Brown catapulted onto the lime light when he was accused of hitting girl friend Rihana Fenty. The Rihana beating episode got in and stayed in the headlines for many months. Rihana, another famous R&B singer had her face bruised in a leaked photo from Police. Stories claimed that she totally cut him off and moved to temporarily go out with other selected men. However, further reports claimed they were secretly seeing each other.

Brown on August released a public apology for what called his “inexcusable” behaviour which he cannot understand.

Recently Brown was sentenced to probation of 5 years and other community service for his Rihana beating.

So what can we learn from this Rihana Chris affair:

  1. Be sure to check out the family background of your prospective partner. Brown confessed in his video that he witnessed domestic violence in his family. Believe it or not much of what we witnessed as children are stored in our subconscious mind and tend to emerge when the right set of circumstances trigger them. review Brown contends that he can’t understand what happened. He is right it was a triggered behaviour that was sitting latent for many years.
  2. Be careful of how you speak to and act with your partner. As objectionable as Brown’s behaviour is, Rihana is not without blame. While we do not exactly know all how this started you can be sure that she incited him by telling things that triggered the “Rihana fight”.
  3. Always ask yourself the question: “Is this a safe person to be with?” I do believe that was not the first time Chris lost his temper or behaved in ways that should have caused Rihana to question her safety with him. Similarly Chris would have seen signals that Rihana may have a sharp and inciteful tongue.
  4. Decide on what you will never tolerate in a relationship – deal breakers. Chris should have made it clear that he will not tolerate disrespect of any sort from her. Similarly Rihana should be crystal clear to him that hitting is intolerable.

Should they ever get back to together?

If they deeply love each other it would be hard not to rekindle love even after this public debacle. Before they do however, it should be mandatory that Chris attends some anger management class. Similarly Rihana should take a course in conflict resolution techniques. Like I said she isn’t totally innocent in all of this. For all we know she may have initiated the hitting. Many women are famous for striking out and hitting when they are frustrated.

All relationships go through spikes of turmoil. This can either make them or break them. Chris is especially stung by this event financially, emotional and psychologically. I think it’s a major element in the process of maturing and coming to terms with not only with the dynamics of relationships but the dynamics of life for both of them. Being rich and famous do not immumize you from the struggles that are part of relating.

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