Should people attend a class to get married? Most people don’t even consider marriage counselling, much less taking a marriage preparation course. And you should if you are planning to get married.
You need to take driving lessons and pass an exam to get your driving licence. In almost every profession you have to train, pass exams and get some qualification. Why? People want otc to be sure that you know what you are doing; that you are competent.
Well people do actually prepare to get married? Yes, but most of the planning is focussed on the wedding not the marriage. What a shame.
My wife is going to be the maid of honour at her friend’s wedding. Last night she listed a number of things she has to do as the maid of honour. When she mentioned the cost of the dress and my mouth dropped open. I said why doesn’t she simply get her sister’s wedding dress and use it. My wife looked at me as if I were stupid. Why spend all that money on a single event? I would prefer using that as a down payment on a house. My wife said that it’s only a once-in-a-life event so it has to be special.
I got to thinking about it. I wish that many people put as much effort and investment in preparing for the marriage as they do the actual wedding ceremony. Someone once said “after the wedding comes the marriage” that is so true.
Recently a young lady asked me, how many sessions it takes to complete a marriage preparation course. I told her at least 6 and she said it was too much as her fiancé worked 100 miles away and he would not want to take so much time off work. That is understandable, because he is a doctor.
As a doctor however, he has to attend continuing education as a mandatory part of his profession. Sometimes these courses take weeks, months and even years. Yet they do not think it wise to invest the required time to build a strong platform for life together.
This is because many people think that they know what it takes to make a marriage work. The statistics of divorce disproves this. It would be like an excited and well meaning teenager who is fascinated by aeroplanes getting up and wanting to fly a plane because he has a passion for it.
Believe it or not relationship is both an art and a science. It is also a skill. A skill that can be mastered. A skill which enhances your love and romance and which will help your love to last. It is not automatic or instinctive.
I strongly recommend that you take both premarital counselling and a marriage preparation course. It has been shown to be very effective in making love last.