Should a woman approach and initiate romantic contact with a man?
This was the passionate topic my friends and I were discussing at my house yesterday. Kimberly, who was considering making contact with a new guy she has seen in the neighbourhood, wanted to find out what we though of the idea.
I was not for it one bit. Jane, who is the personification of modern feminism, felt that there is no reason why she shouldn’t. She reasoned that we are living in modern times and out-dated concepts of men being the “hunter or pursuer” were down right stupid. She sited several women she knew who met their boyfriends or husbands because they were bold enough to start the relationship. They actually told the men what they wanted. I countered that most of the relationships she was talking about were not very successful, but a few were. I also had to admit that who initiated the relationship was not the only factor which determines the success of failure of the relationship.
4 ways to attract a guy without forcing yourself on him
1. There is a feminine and a masculine way of approaching this matter. Women are usually the ones who first display subtle come-on signals like coy eye-contact and smiles. Jane was not too comfortable with this because she felt that some men were too thick to recognise non-verbal communication.
2. We agreed that its quite a good will gesture for a woman to initiate general conversation with a guy, especially if he is very shy. This gives him the chance to get to know her and be comfortable enough advance further if he wants to.
3. There is no reason why a woman cannot invite a guy to general public places and activities where they can have fun and enjoy good company. These will be places she herself would go to with or without him as a companion. Such places can be sport games like tennis or ice-skating or amusement parks. She could and should invite other friends allong as this will keep this on a platonic level but give him or both of them a platform to gel without the contrived environment of formal dating. If he is interested he can take it further.
4. Jane could not get her mind around this last point but Kimberly was in total agreement. Men should be allowed to rise to the challenge of working for a great catch. He needs to be the one who actually first verbalizes his romantic interest. The stage could be set for him and props could be added but he has to deliver the lines first. average cost of Although there may be some relationships that succeed with the woman striking out first, they are the exceptions not the rule.
Men want to lead; women admire leaders
That night I spoke to my friend Claude who also made a very salient point. He mentioned that there are indeed some very dominant and straight forward women. These usually pair off with reticent men who do not mind being approached and having the women do most of the romantic posturing. However he says most men deep within want to be the one who initiate and lead in relationships. Most women also want, admire and are drawn to men with leadership qualities.
Claude told me of a great book that helps women to attract men in a feminine and natural way. I found it on the net, and recommended to Kimberly. She said it opened he eyes to so many things she never thought of before. It helped her to be much more confident with men. In fact although she never hooked up with the guy she was eyeing up, she now has 2 high quality guys pursing her. You may find it very useful too if you are looking to attract and get a great man in your life. Go here to check it out.