Should you love unconditionally?
The notion of unconditional love is very popular. It’s a romantic idea that our love should be extended to others without strings attached. Songs, poems, prose have been composed about this. For example Tupac Shakur a noted rapper says in his song Unconditional Love:
“Unconditional Love (no doubt)
Talking bout the stuff that don’t wear off
It don’t fade
It’ll last for all these crazy days
These crazy nights
Whether you wrong or you right
I’m a still love you
Still feel you
Still there for you
No matter what (hehe)
You will always be in my heart
With unconditional love. “
I could understand the point that we should love all humans regardless to race, creed or social standing. Most of these are not something anyone can control. But should we love our partners unconditionally whether they are they are wrong or right.
I weekend pill agree with Dr Willard Harley that romantic love is very conditional — not unconditional. When we care for people we need care in return, when we nurture we need to be nurtured, when we give we need to be given to. A lot of people are in relationships were they are tired of carrying the relationship. They are tired of emotionally giving without being replenished. This can cause emotional starvation. Worst it can cause the other person to believe that they are entitled to love, care concern without giving or reciprocating.
What happens if you are in such a relationship? First I say that you make your needs known. Explain how you feel and show what you will like to experience. Give the person some time to demonstrate a willingness to help. If not changes are seen within 8-12 weeks temporarily leave until you have evidence that your needs will be met too.
Here is a clip of a radio talk I did on the topic.